I don’t know what has gotten into me today as this is so out of character for me. I am the one that is always so positive and stoic, but today I am surprised at myself. My friends are all out having mother’s day plans with one or all of their children, and I am a bit misty eyed. Maybe I have been on Facebook too much today; seeing everyone post pictures with their children that came home to visit just got to me.
Both my family and my husband’s live in our city; we are with one family member or another almost weekly. My kids are the rare ones that don’t live nearby; my son and future bride live 4 states away where he is in residency and my daughter and her future groom live in Europe. I have not seen my daughter since August and my son since December. While I make a big deal out of the kid’s birthdays, I really do not want a big deal made of my day. For mother’s and father’s day, it was always about my inlaws and my parents. The bad joke was, that I would be able to have the mother’s day I wanted when I was the eldest mother! Last night we have a lovely dinner with my parents, aunt and uncles and my brother. Tonight we are having dinner with my husband’s mother, siblings and their children. My children are missed at both events.
I know with my son getting married that he will not be visiting as much, not that his program allows for many out of town trips. Usually the wife makes the plans and his future bride doesn’t really understand that parents want to see their children even when they are no longer kids! For my daughter, it is just too expensive for us to just go visit at this time, especially with two wedding coming up.
Ok, I feel better saying this out loud! I will go and enjoy dinner tonight with my glass of wine/whine
Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers with children near and far!
I don’t usually think about Mother’s Day. But just coincidentally, I sent my son a care package for finals - a really nice one, if I say so myself - and it was delivered on Friday (thanks, USPS tracking!). I was texting with him on Friday, so I suggested that he check his mail that evening. He seemed excited to see what I’d sent but I didn’t tell him.
No text, call, or Skype on Friday or all day yesterday. But I tried to be patient, telling myself that he was probably waiting to call today, for Mother’s Day.
It’s 11 a.m. here and 3 p.m. where he is, and still nada.
How long should I wait before getting mad at him for not even saying thanks for the box of goodies? AND nothing for MD??
Sorry, snowball. There will probably be better ones another year.
I do feel your pain, though. Neither of my girls are in town. My mom is deceased. DH is taking his mom out solo tonight, so I will enjoy a nice peaceful evening with no cooking duties.
DH took me to breakfast. He forgot his wallet though, so I paid.
Lol, lol on forgetting the wallet. My H usually remembers his wallet but his brother is notorious at it. It’s become a family joke.
Having the same pity party snowball. Why am I irritated, when I am thrilled that my kids are doing so great. It’s hard when your kids are so far away and busy with jobs and life.
They both called. Even the son, although I think his sister told him to. I am perfectly ok with that.
I feel lucky I even got a text this year. Though I know it’s because my husband reminds them.But I admit it annoys me a bit, as I have always been extremely considerate and always thinking of them kind of mother. I guess just not demanding enough of them.
Same here. D away living in Europe with her fiance. It’s never been a day that we really celebrate—I don’t want to fight the crowds at the restaurants and besides “it’s a holiday made up by Hallmark”. But still, I have done my share of pouting today. Skyped her this morning but it’s not the same.
If you are feeling these feelings, allow them to be valid to a point! I would venture to say there is a holiday for most people that just leaves them feeling…not holiday-ish!!! It might be Christmas, might be Thanksgiving, might be a birthday - the best thing is, it’s one day and the next day will just be an ordinary day that doesn’t have to live up to anything!!!
I can always count on D - she texted early this morning and then we skyped later. S, however, is a different story. He called yesterday to discuss an apartment that he and his friends want to rent for next year. While he was on the phone, I asked “Is there something you want to say to me? Something about tomorrow?” He panicked! “Don’t tell me that its the day that I have to move stuff into storage! I haven’t packed yet” Nope - Mother’s Day! Oh well, he’s still a sweetie, even if he doesn’t remember anything (like his Dad).
Snowball, I made a very conscious effort to avoid Facebook today. I remember how painful it was last year. I haven’t logged on today and won’t until tomorrow.
My daughter did call, but she lives far away. She doesn’t put one of those heartwarming messages to her mother on Facebook, because she’s just not that type. But it still hurts a bit when I see her friends saying wonderful things to their moms.
Just as bad for me are all the people my age who say wonderful things about their own mothers on Facebook. My mother was mentally ill and we were estranged for years; she’s now dead. I have nothing good to say about her. I’ve long come to terms with my situation but I don’t need it thrust in my face.
I have many friends who are childless not by choice. One of them, who had a stillborn and could never conceive again, wrote a very nice message on Facebook last year about why Mother’s Day is so painful for her. I’m sure she repeated it again this year. Mother’s Day is not a wonderful holiday for a lot of people, for many reasons.
My husband & I went out to breakfast yesterday, as it is his weekend off, and I am taking advantage of it being Mother’s Day weekend, by having several projects for him!
When the kids were growing up, he not only had to work 3 out of 4 weekends, but also worked swing shift, so he didn’t get home at night until long after they went to bed.
This made him the unattainable, and so sought after parent.
They both made a special trip for his birthday recently, so I got to see them too, even if it was very brief.
I have had years when I moped that I wasn’t appreciated, but life is really too short for my mood to depend on the attention of others.
I have been going through cards from years past, and will take some flowers from my garden to my grandmothers & mothers grave, but looking backwards keeps me from going forwards.
I’m not the person that my kids wish I was. I’m sorry about that, but I can only be me.
Sons are notorious noncommunicators, mine especially. If midnight my time comes without any phone call from the west coast I won’t be shocked. You have company moms whose sons don’t remember them. My own mother died over 30 years ago so I can’t even wish her happy m day. Sigh, so much for the privileges of motherhood.
I know @thumper… it’s just something my folks used to say in jest. In our family we were allowed to make cards or make presents but no gift buying and no store bought cards. (just like the founder Jarvis intended)
Count me in on the pity party. Single mom and my only child is on a Medial Brigade without access to call (but I am SO proud of her!) Given up by my birth mom at birth and by my adoptive mom some time ago when I didnt live up to her expectations…kinda leaves a person feeling raw and alone on this day…add to it dreary weather and storms all day and I am just ready for it to be Monday! Atleast the cats are being extra cuddly today…I think they know I am sad…
One kid was busy with senior year stuff and so slept until noon. The other is starting finals and is far away. He finally called for a few minutes. H rallied and made me a fruit salad.
^Yep, the cat remembered me, too. I’m joining the pity party. S is in the middle of finals so I’ll be sending an “Am I going to hear from you today” text in a few hours if he hasn’t called. D got home last night and slept for 12+ hours. She and H say they are going out on an “errand” soon but neither have moved from the couch. We’ll see.
My mother died 4 yrs ago, my father died a month ago, I’m his executrix so I spent the weekend sorting through records - 53 years happily living to my mother, 4 kids means a whole lot of junk. My kids have really tried to get me out of this deep abiding emptiness I feel on holidays without them here. Pity party? Count me in.
Not at all to hijack the thread, just to provide perspective:
one of our friends is spending Mother’s Day searching for her son, who has been missing since Friday. His keys, phone, cards left at the apartment. They thought he was graduating, turns out he was not even enrolled, but this is not some high-pressure perfectionist clan, just a normal household who wants yheir son to walk in the door tonight.
Hug your babies. If they don’t call you, call them.
@greenbutton, that’s awful. Yes, I treasure my healthy girls.
D1 sent me flowers and a card mid week and called today.
D2 texted me “Happy Mother’s Day!” last Sunday. I responded “Nope.” She responded “Oops. Is it next Sunday?”
She sent me two necklaces, also midweek. She texted "Happy Mother’s Day! " this morning. I responded, “No, Mother’s Day was last Sunday.” She said "Ha Ha, Mom. You’re real funny.
Hee Hee. She doesn’t know that I did the exact same thing to my stepdad one Father’s Day when I was in summer school in Austin. He got a big kick out me calling a week early.
I will go and enjoy dinner tonight with my glass of wine/whine 
Yes, I treasure my healthy girls.