My kids both live within a few miles of us right now, which is great. But, we bought a home nine years ago at the other end of the state, near the ocean, which is where we spend most weekends and will retire to. We grew up on the Shore and really want to be there permanently. It’s an easy 2+ hour drive and it’s the place my kids grew up going to for vacations, so we know we can visit back and forth relatively easily, and that they will always want to be there with their families. So though I’ll miss the spontaneous stopping by or meeting for coffee, I know we’ll still see them lots.
Everyone here buys a second home in Florida where they spend the winter and if the past is any indication they will l, eventually sell their homes up north and be full time Floridians or continue just living there in the winter. No ones kids are down there, but they visit all the time in winter as weather is good and it makes for a very cheap family vacation.
I also know some people who moved to where their kids are and then kids upped and left for someplace else due to new job.
My in-laws pulled up stakes for Florida (from New England), and their relationship with our kids, as well as our own relationship with them, was never the same as in the days when we saw them on frequent weekends. Telephone conversations were awkward (this was pre-Skype). We could rarely visit, given work and school schedules, and to be honest, we never liked going there because the trip would consist of hanging around their condo, sitting by the pool (where the kids we allowed to neither jump in nor splash), and having early bird dinner specials at my in-laws favorite spots. With limited vacation time, it was just a drag to spend it that way. Meanwhile, the grandparents really hated to travel north, and, as the years passed, they became unable to handle the trip for health and stamina reasons.
I don’t know where my kids may permanently land, but there’s no way I’m going to knowingly make it harder for us to stay connected with them and any grandchildren that may come along.
We live in the San Francisco bay area and I can’t imagine ever moving. All 3 kids have expressed a desire to return here but whether they will and, if they are able, whether they can afford it is another matter. D1 lives in SF now and loves it but plans to go away for grad school so who knows. D2 and D3 are on the east coast for now. They love being here so I do believe they will always visit if they don’t ultimately settle here (but a mom can hope!).
My kids were never close to their grandparents, though, and I really, really hope that I am close enough geographically to my grandkids that I’m able to see them often, attend their events, etc–really be a part of their lives. As no one is seeing anyone at the moment, grandkids are far, far away.
I can’t imagine moving away from my kids or friends. Both Ds have bought homes within 15 minutes of us. We are thrilled and can hardly wait for grandkids! I also love my friends who are my support system since I have no family on my side. We plan on staying here and then going away for 6 weeks in the winter.
Count me as another who has no plans to move from kids and friends. As long as we can travel a lot, I have no real desire to leave. What I’d like to do is get out of the winter and rent someplace warm for a few months.
Well, call me crazy, but it looks like H and I will move to MN when we retire.
Our only child now lives in MN and will soon marry a man whose roots in MN are deep; their jobs are stable and it looks as if they will both remain there for a long time, barring unexpected complications. H and I have no strong ties to the region in which we now live. There’s nothing keeping us here and a lot that’s pulling us in another direction.
At one time, I had thought we’d retire to the southern state in which I grew up, but the idea of being so far from D (and living in an area that now differs so much from my political/social views) no longer appeals to me. I really, really want to be able to see D more often - to me, it would be heaven to just have dinner or lunch with her at the spur-of-the-moment instead of planning all our trips around plane schedules and work vacations.
And as others have said, I want to be the kind of grandmother that can attend school events and see them often. My own parents rarely see their only grandchild - partly because of distance, partly because of the difficulties of traveling when aged. I don’t want to that to be me.
I just can’t believe that I’m planning to retire to an area that’s so cold in the winter! I am reserving the right to rent a condo in Florida for February.
I would have no problem leaving our current town - I don’t feel anymore attached to our neighborhood or our city. H recently retired, but I have a few years left I must work and I may work beyond that. However I don’t think H would really want to move - even though I don’t think he is attached here necessarily - it’s just not in his wheelhouse to move without a good reason. He would also not want to move farther away from our cottage which is about 3 hours north. I have 2 kids who have landed - one in a suburb near us, one in Columbus 2.5 hours away (I would move there!) and one still in college.
The idea of starting anew someplace is exciting to me. But the other half, H, don’t think it would happen.
@abasket…I was in OH this weekend for a wedding.
We go round and round about this. We will probably retire when our kids have not yet settled down. We are older parents and when we are mid sixties, one kid will be just out of college and one will still be in. This means that if we do decide to move it will be independent of where the kids are. We had always thought we would go south. I want to live somewhere where shoveling your roof and ice damming have never been heard of. But as we discuss where we want to go, we never can really find a place that feels right. Fact is, except for the snow, we like where we live. We like our house, and our yard, and our neighbors. We have a little family nearby but the rest is spread around the country. There is a lot in southern CA but that would be an expensive place to move to. We may end up just staying here.
My thoughts about where to live in retirement are colored by my own experiences with elderly parents. My whole family lives in Michigan. When they were in their mid-60’s, my parents moved to Florida (not to a fun place like on the ocean … to a community of older folks in the center of the state). They loved it, but none of us was ever thrilled to visit them. Then my mom got sick, and it was really difficult to visit them - my brothers & I took turns flying down, driving a couple hours, and being there for them. We couldn’t talk them into moving back to Michigan, and it was really hard on all of us (the parents, my brothers, me). As a result, I have no interest in moving far from my kids. If they move far from me, that is their choice - but H and I will most likely stay put. Our house is paid off, our property taxes are reasonable, and we don’t mind the cold/snow. Things may change, but if one of our kids ever asks us to move closer to them, we probably would … I sure wish my parents had done that.
‘There is no such thing as bad weather just bad clothing’. I figure with the right clothes/shoes/boots/coat/car anywhere is very livable.
I realized after we retired that I had really not explored our town and neighbors. I now get up when I want, wait until the snow melts, take a walk with the dog. I fly when I want to visit the kids rather than on a work schedule and I get to see the sun every day in the winter. Winter so far does not seem nearly as bad as when I worked 10 hour days never seeing the daylight.
I feel very much like I am in a new town and the stores, cafes, etc are all new to me because I never had the time to enjoy them. Going to audit classes (free) at the local state university is so different with young people all around. I guess we are staying put. It is a really nice place to visit here with hiking out our back door, skiing one hour away, and world class restaurants a couple hours away for a day trip. Local airport is nice to have. No traffic, low taxes, shopping by internet is great. This is not for everyone. Diversity of culture and religion is limited. Meetups have helped with this.
So. I think sometimes the change of houses is a great idea and can make all the difference in feeling at home where you live. Jobs take us places that we really don’t like to live. We were fortunate 20+ years ago to make a decision to move to a place we liked and raise the kids and build a home we like for our older age, too.
There are also bad drivers – particularly the kind who do not know how to drive in bad weather but have to do it anyway.
^^But if you avoid Seattle, you will be safe. Because Seattle seems to be where all bad drivers end up moving to! 
Nah, we’ve got a ton of them in Honolulu. Saw 4 collisions in a parking lot in 15 minutes one evening!
Those must be the bad Seattle drivers on their HI vacation, LOL!
I think it’s the geriatric set–no one is able to keep them from driving so they keep going. Just give them VERY wide berth and be a very defensive driver and pedestrian.
The whole kid-and-prospective-grandkid thing is definitely a huge reason why I won’t move to warmer climates anytime soon. Even though I do fantasize about it at times.
My children are both a LONG way from settling, having a family, etc. But when they do, I don’t want to be a plane-ride away. I want to hug, kiss and spoil at will 
Same here @katliamom - I have an S who launched after 2015 graduation and a D who will graduate and launch this year but even though they both have significant others, I don’t see any “settling” for a while. I will want to see where they both end up before I make any decisions about moving,