My question is for those of you who moved for retirement as related to your children. What is your situation? I see so many saying they’re relocating for retirement usually because of weather and I wonder if your children no longer live nearby?
So far, my kids, and one grandchild, are within half an hour (big suburban area) and I cannot imagine leaving them.
Have any of you moved away from your kids?
My kids moved long ago before I retired. One on each coast, us in the middle. No plans on moving however. Good base for them to visit and us to take off from. I have 2 friends who recently moved away after retirement. One 3 hours away actually closer to her kids. One did not have kids but moved closer to her only sister and nieces.
Well, we are still here in HI, in our same house in retirement. Our kids both attended college in CA and D is still in CA while S has moved to VA. We have no current plans for moving. We hope our kids will move back to HI but have no idea if they will.
Do YOU want to move? If not…stay put.
Our kids did the moving. We are still here. Not likely we will relocate to where either is.
Are you needy for having a social network? If so, then how conducive to making new friends is the new location?
H and I plan to move to the Chicago area when we retire. Our kids would like to also be in that area (or somewhere not very far), but who knows. Even if our kids don’t end up there, we have siblings, cousins, long time friends in Chicago.
We just moved for retirement two months ago, but we do not expect our kids to settle down in either our pre-retirement home or our post-retirement home. They are still young, so we will probably split our time between our home and wherever they end up settling. Realistically, that is 5 to 10 years away, I guess.
My kids are in the far corners of the US while I remain stuck in the middle in the place that was a good place to raise kids! One is still in college and I stay here so that on her breaks she can see both sides of her family including young sibs at her dad’s house. (Not entirely motivated by altruism - I know that if I moved away I would see even less of her)
I’m planning to move (already semiretired). I want easier/cheaper travel options, more compatible demographics, and more cultural opportunities. My friend circle has dwindled over the years, so while starting over (alone) is daunting, not that different socially from the status quo.
In some ways it would be good to move back to where my sisters and old friends are, but the reasons I moved away are still valid, so I’m looking a little ways away but with good airport access and cheap flights.
We moved after one son went away to college, and the other son moved with us (and went to community college). We were influenced to not move too far away from son at college (West coast would have been too far). After moving from NJ to NC we have met so many people who have moved here to be close to their grandchildren, ie they followed their children to this area. There are many reasons for retired folks to move to this area; weather, reasonable home prices, relatively low property taxes, but for many those are fringe benefits and not their main reason for being here.
Every time we start talking about where to move, one question is always, “but where do we think kid is going to be?” She’s already made it known that her preference is that we be nearby, so we’ll see. We’ll either move to a place that’s easy for her to get to, or one that she’ll (and any future progeny) will want to come to independent of us being there.
My parents retired and moved 1200 miles away (to the same town as my sister and her kids and 90 miles away from my brother) when D was six months old. For a while I would get teary when I would see grandparents with their grandchildren. My folks made friends and really enjoy their “new” community, but I felt abandoned as a new mother struggling with postpartum depression. Certainly it was their right to live where they wanted to, but the timing was tough for me.
Our kids are like gnats. When we move…it will be to a place we like, with good airports nearby, good medical facilities, a vibrant arts community…and a decent cost of living for retirees.
And we will move in our early 70’s or sooner so we have time to develop a community of friends and activities.
My inlaws relocated in their very late 70’s and never established a new network of friends or activities. They. Over to be near one of their kids…and that kid is the “entertainment” committee. Really, the inlaws do not have a network of friends…and they really could use one!
I definitely agree with the moving sooner, thumper. We are looking at moving in our mid 60’s.
We didn’t move. I couldn’t imagine moving and leaving an area where we’ve been for most of our adult lives and where we raised our family. Too many friends and too much community involvement to even consider leaving. 3 of our 5 Ds live here and are settled with their families/significant others. One is four hours away and one in the UK. We’re fortunate to be so close to our grandchildren and most of our children. I would never move away from the area.
I do have friends who made the decision to leave the city where both of their children are living. I still don’t understand it. They see them twice a year and that’s it. That would be impossible for me.
@alwaysamom we really didn’t ever plan to move either…but as our other friends retire…they all seem to be leaving. The two couples we were best friends with now live far away.
We have no family in the area…at all. My family is a ten hour drive in one direction, and DH’s family is about 6 hours in another direction.
Neither of purmkids lives near any of our family, or us.
Really…at some point, the only thing keeping us here will be DH’s job…and our house.
I’m a friendly person, and make new friends all,the time. But really…as my longtime friends all leave…it makes me wonder whether we will stay. Probably not.
The advantage of living in our current area as far as kids/potential grandkids is that it’s easy for S1 to fly here, and if he comes back east, he’d be in the NE Corridor. S2’s major work prospects are in this area. Downside: it’s expensive and MD is not tax-friendly.
My entire extended family live within a short drive of our home, EXCEPT our kids. Since our kids are still under 30 and haven’t purchased real estate and aren’t in serious relationships, we have no idea where they will ultimately settle, so we would have a tough time making choices based on where they currently live (CA & VA). We have both lived hear nearly all our lives, so have pretty deep ties here and not many to other locations, so it’s very difficult to envision moving. If our kids set down permanent roots somewhere, we have warned them that we will have long term rentals in their area so that we can spend time with them and any kids they may have. 
Right now, we and all my sibs help my aging folks some (and expect this to increase as they become more dependent). My H is in his 70s and at some point, moving will just be too hard. We like our neighborhood and the people right next to us and across the street are both planning to age in place, as are well.
We moved when we retired, and we chose a place that met our criteria without considering where our kids are. One of those criteria was that the place be attractive for visitors, to encourage our kids to want to visit the area in addition to visiting us.
We didn’t consider where the kids are living. Our feeling was that as soon as we made a decision based on where they are, they’d be the ones who had to move!
We only have one ds, and he has no plans to return and settle where we currently live. We own a condo in Florida and plan to retire there eventually. It will be a major downsize. Florida is my home state, and I still have many high school friends in the area. It’s likely we will be far from ds, but we will have a more accessible airport in Florida than we have here. Don’t think he is coming to Florida either.
I think expectations of how frequently one sees one’s children are very individualized. If we wind up on opposite coasts, I imagine it will only be two or three times per year. Of course, I’d like to see him more, but I’m not sure that would be reasonable or practical. We live three hours from my in-laws, and we see them around five times per year (was much more often before ds went to college). That’s more than enough for me!
Our kids are in the industry. So unless there is a shooting schedule out of town…they are here. We live on the westside where home prices are insane. If they move to the valley, we will as well. I must live close to my doctors…and my hospital. My body can’t handle extreme heat so Palm Desert is a no.
So, here we will be…hopefully healthy…with our kids (and kids in law)…our dog(s)…and someday grandchildren.