<p>I may be in the situation of having to move back home while searching for a job, and would like to make this as painless as humanly possible for my parents. Because I am not able to pay rent, I will definitely be doing chores for them, including mowing the lawn, extra cleaning, cooking, and etc. I will also be searching for a job on a full-time basis, every day. In terms of the basics, such as telling them if I will be home late, cleaning up after my own self, will never be an issue–and were never an issue in the past. I will also be volunteering in the meantime, to build my resume, networks, and skills.</p>
<p>Are there any other suggestions as to the best way to make my parents feel comfortable? I am so worried they will be upset and disappointed, that it is making me consider potentially being homeless, which is not something they would desire.</p>
<p>Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out. Don’t allow yourself to become complacent, though. Treat job-hunting as a job. Get up at the same time each morning, shower, dress professionally and go pound the pavement to find a job. I’m currently watching DD’s best childhood friend go through this. She’s grown so frustrated with the job-hunting that she’s almost given up altogether. Persistence pays. Good luck!</p>
<p>No parent could ever stand the thought of their child being homeless, don’t even consider doing that to them. If you do what you say, I would be very proud of you as a parent. You know it won’t last forever, it is temporary, and very common in this job market. With that kind of attitude, I’m sure you will get employment quickly.</p>
<p>It sounds like you’re planning to do everything right - being respectful of them (calling if you’ll be late, etc. instead of being self-righteous and staying out without letting them know what’s going on), you plan to contribute to the household in doing chores, and consider looking for a job to be your current full time job. That’s more than many do when they move back. </p>
<p>I think you should feel fine about moving back given what you’ve said. Most parents would be very welcoming of such a thoughtful kid for this transition period.</p>
<p>I would have no trouble if my child came home and was this thoughtful. The fact that you are thinking about all this says a lot about you. Good luck with everything.</p>
<p>You can always ask if there’s anything more you might help with. Maybe there’s a big project they’d like help tackling (IE: clear/clean out the garage) that they just don’t have the energy or gumption to take on themselves but would LOVE to have help with.</p>
<p>My oldest has returned home for much the same reasons, and it has been a pleasure to have him. He pays rent (10% of his take-home pay) , and lets me know if he’ll be home late, and takes care of some errands. I do not feel disappointed in the least.</p>
<p>One suggestion I have for you is to let as many people know as possible that you are looking for a job. Don’t try to hid it because you maybe embarrassed. </p>
<p>Few weeks ago I found out my firm needed a new graduate to do some financial reporting. I emailed some parents I knew (some were from CC) to see if they knew of anyone. One parent contacted a friend, whose son was still looking for a job. I didn’t know the kid, but the resume looked very good, so I passed it on (he has made it to the 2nd round). You just never know who may know someone with open position at their firm.</p>
<p>You sound like a considerate housemate. I am sure your parents will enjoy their time with you.</p>
<p>Will you be the only kid at home, or are there other siblings? Are there elderly relatives that need to be cared for?</p>
<p>I ask because my 21 year old is at home and my H has a tendency to use him as last minute transportation for his younger sister. He doesn’t mind it if it’s discussed in advance, but he doesn’t like being in the middle of something and being ordered to pick up his sister. </p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong…it’s great to help out. But if you foresee issues like that, discuss in advance with your parents. (e.g. “I get off work at midnight and really shouldn’t be expected to take little brother to school at 7:30 am. However, I will be glad to take Grandma to the doctor at noon.”)</p>
<p>Our new college grad. S2 will be moving back home next week. His summer internship ends on Friday and he doesn’t have a “real” job lined up. I’m a little nervous about friction in our household since he hasn’t lived with us in four years. Our biggest expectation is for him to diligently search for a job.</p>
<p>There was an interesting segment on this topic on yesterday’s Talk of the Nation broadcast. Sally Koslow has written a book about young adults returning to the nest and how common it has become. Here’s the link :[Talk</a> of the Nation : NPR](<a href=“http://www.npr.org/programs/talk-of-the-nation/]Talk”>Talk of the Nation : NPR)</p>
<p>First, make sure your parents are OK with this concept. There are a few who adamantly object, and if that’s the case, you may as well know upfront. </p>
<p>Second, talk about health insurance with your parents. You’re probably insured through a policy that one of your parents got at his/her job. Your parent can keep you on the health insurance after you graduate, as long as you are younger than 26, but it helps if the parent has some advance notice for paperwork purposes. Your parent probably will not be able to keep you on their dental or vision insurance. So if you need any dental work done or if you need new glasses, deal with this before your insurance runs out.</p>
<p>Third, will you have your own car? If not, I can see potential problems. Your schedule as a job-seeker who is also doing volunteer work will be less predictable than the schedules of people who are working or going to school. It might be very difficult for you and another family member to share the use of a car – even if you have done this successfully in the past.</p>
<p>From your post, I believe your parents will be grateful, and enjoying being around the respectful child that they raised. (Even if my child could pay us rent, we would put it in savings for them for a down payment on something they wished to purchase later.) Good luck with your search!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, your H seems to have just as little respect for his/your son’s time and takes it for granted as my parents did up until the end of fall semester freshman year of undergrad. </p>
<p>What caused this to stop was my parents scheduling me to tutor a feckless kid and his parents for the SATs without checking with me to see if I would be available beforehand. </p>
<p>Turned out I already made a prior agreement to work late through the time I was scheduled by parents to tutor. Did I mention the idiot kid and his parents waited till the night before the scheduled exam to have this tutoring session and for me to somehow work miracles? </p>
<p>When my father told me what he and mom did, I told them the following:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>It would have been nice if they had checked with me before promising the kid/parents because:</p></li>
<li><p>They would have known that I already made prior agreements with an employer to work late that night and I don’t feel it is right to back out of prior commitments…especially for haphazard ones made at the last minute.</p></li>
<li><p>The fact the kid/parents waited to the night before the scheduled SAT exam showed how little respect they are giving the SATs in terms of its potential demands/difficulties…especially when everyone in my area/community knows it requires a few weeks of preparation to familiarize oneself with the format…not to mention remedying uncovered weaknesses at the very least. If this is how serious they took the test/process, why should I drop a prior commitment to a respected employer to help them out at the very last minute? Especially when doing so would violate prior lessons they themselves taught me about not backing out of commitments made in advance. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>From that point on, my parents/relatives made it a point to have anyone who needed my help with something to contact me directly or to ask me beforehand about my schedule/availability if the ones needing help didn’t have my contact info/couldn’t contact me directly.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t be “disappointed” AT ALL if my child lived at home while job hunting. Especially if he/she really were job hunting. And especially if he/she were as responsible/helpful around the house as you plan to be. In fact, it may be a good time for you and your parents - a kind of rediscovery of each other. Good luck with the job hunt!</p>
<p>Our S lived with us from Aug until about March when he was home waiting for his a clearance for his to finalize after graduation & before he plunged into working. It was a wonderful time for him & us. He also cleaned up a lot around the house, helped H with some projects & helped clean my folks’ storage room, which I took over. It was definitely a win-win situation.</p>
<p>Sounds like you will be contributing a lot to the home & it should be a great time for all of you. I agree with discussing with your folks if the things you are proposing will work for them as well. Clarify whether they can keep you on their health insurance until you turn 26 (it’s a great thing if you can remain on their plan).</p>
<p>Thank you very much for the information, and I will definitely be double-checking with the medical, vision, and dental insurance possibility. My parents have informed me it would be acceptable to both live at home temporarily and to remain on the medical insurance plans, if the plans would permit it.</p>
<p>I will do everything recommended for the job search, and it will be a full-time job time-wise for me, at the very least, daily. Would it be helpful to additionally spend at least 10-20 hours per week helping my family in terms of cleaning, cooking, mowing the lawn, or other projects or tasks? My shame regarding remaining with my parents post-college is the disappointment they will have, and I would be very willing to contribute time and energy to helping them.</p>
<p>I’m a bit worried that people have differing views on this! My parents will respect my time, and they typically plan ahead for everything. I really want to be sure that I am doing everything possible, especially considering that I will not be able to pay rent. Thank you so much for the opinions/personal stories, this is exactly what I was hoping. I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family, because they raised me very well and of course I love them. :)</p>
It was definitely a win-win situation.</p>