Moving in Together

[TheNerdyReader]

I’ve seen a few of these, but I’m throwing mine in the mix as well. I’m currently a freshman, and have been with my SO since the summer of my senior year (a little over a year as I’m writing this) and lately we’ve been talking about moving in together in between the spring and summer semesters. We both have jobs, and have estimated we can afford a cheapy little apartment. He has bills of his own, and is good about getting them paid and still having money left over. However, he isn’t getting any type of parental support. His college currently is supported entirely by his FASFA, student loans, and scholarships. My parents are supporting me at the moment, but if we do make the decision to move in together, I won’t ask them for help with the rent or anything like that.

We go to different universities, but have seen quite a few apartments that are in our price range as well as pretty much in the middle of our two schools. We both have cars, drivers licenses, insurance, everything we need to commute. He went to a junior college after high school, and commuted there and back every day anyway.

Is this even a good idea? I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been a spoiled brat all my life, but I’ve had a job since my freshman year of HS and have figured out how to budget, and have even helped him with his bills a couple times. We have talked about (and kind of started) building a little savings for us when/if we decide to do this, and have a plan in place about what we’re going to do with the money if we break up before then ( I say this to highlight that it would be easy to have a discussion as to what happens if we break up before we move in).

We’re from a town where this is actually relatively common, but they’re not us, and I’m throwing it out to you, people of the internet, before I talk to my parents about it. My sisters are supportive, but are making sure they’re warning me of all the things that could go wrong, and I’m hoping y’all could throw in your two cents as well.

[Lindagaf]

So your boyfriend is a junior receiving aid, and presumably taking out loans because his parents don’t contribute? And you are a freshman, so you will need somewhere to live, if things go wrong, once he’s graduated.

I think this is a bad idea, mainly for financial reasons. You both need to sit down and work out your monthly expenses. How much will you spend on rent, furnishings, utilities, groceries, laundry, internet service. Groceries tend to be the second biggest expense after rent. For two people, plan to spend at least $100 a week just on food. If you live in a hot place, AC can can cost a fortune. If you live in a cold place, heating is really expensive. Living on campus, you never think about those expenses.

Compare those costs to how much your room and board costs at college. And don’t forget all the time you save by not having to grocery shop and prepare your own food.

Your boyfriend needs to see if his FAFSA, loans and scholarships can be used if he lives off campus.

Lots of young couples live together without understand the daily reality of what it means to live with someone.Things you find charming and quirky now might become things that are simply annoying and weird. If you break up, what happens to your lease? That could be very expensive. Given how young you both are, it isn’t likely that you will stay together, statistically speaking.

I think you are rushing. You are still really young. And why do you need to live together?

[Conformist1688]

Have you discussed who will be doing the cleaning and other chores?

[TS0104]

I’m reading this, also thinking, “why?” Why do you want to move in together? Is it that you want to spend lots more time together? You want to take your relationship to another level? What would be the benefits for you?

Because honestly, it doesn’t seem like a good deal for you. It will make your life harder, financially and probably socially. It puts you in a rent/bills paying situation years before it sounds like you need to be in one. Pretty big downsides to make for a one year old relationship.

[Empireapple]

I can’t imagine why you’d want to give up the young, carefree time in your life where you live with friends and don’t trip over a guy’s boxers. Why give up that moment you go the dining hall and catch a cute guy’s eye and flirt for a moment. Or how about those evenings you and your girlfriends sit around and laugh all evening or have deep life meaning discussions. Why give up the days, weeks, moths and semesters of being selfish - you don’t have to worry bout anyone but you? What’s the rush? As they say, “you can’t get these years back.”