Stroke survivor here. In some ways your dad’s sounds similar to mine. I was 51, and while it was devastating at the time, I’ve made a fantastic recovery. I could give you hundreds of bits of advice. Here are a few suggestions:
Expect your father to be irritable and impatient, and do your best to roll with the punches.
Don’t tell him he’s “lucky” because it could have been a lot worse. If you do, I guarantee he’ll be quick to tell you that having a stroke is the opposite of lucky. (I’ve spoken in front of groups of stroke survivors and their loved ones, and when I touch on the “lucky” thing, I hear unanimous agreement.)
Don’t be surprised if and when “emotional incontinence” becomes an issue. This is where the person’s emotions are very easily triggered, and they might either laugh at seemingly inappropriate times or cry at the slightest trigger. I used to joke that the only difference between urinary and emotional incontinence was that instead of peeing my pants, I’d pee my face. Don’t worry, medication puts things back to normal.
Don’t assume you need to speak slowly or loudly. While are brains have been injured, our hearing and intellectual comprehension are fine.
Help your father understand that there isn’t a limited timeframe for recovery. He can improve every day for the rest of his life. In my opinion aggressive therapy is good but there’s no need to rush things. It isn’t as if there’s a 6 month or any other “window” that will close.
Most of all, try your best to be patient. Stroke survivors are a pain in the a…
Everyone’s different, but in my case, I was walking almost immediately, but unable to run for a few years, and only after specific therapy. Now I regularly run five miles.
My brother had a stroke two years ago at 61. He never married or had kids, and our parents are deceased; my other two brothers & I became responsible for him. It was difficult to get the answers we needed from doctors or real assistance from social workers in the hospital. You may need to push for answers … hard. We insisted on certain things that the hospital simply ignored, and they released him to rehab without our input (and in advance of the day they had said that the transfer would happen).
Frankly, it was a really difficult time. We used his time in rehab to come up with a plan for how we thought we would handle his care, although we still weren’t sure what would actually work. It was really hard, and we had to lean on each other. Make sure you enlist others to help as they offer, and reach out to any area agencies that might be helpful (or caregiver support groups).
Unfortunately, my brother suffered another stroke while in rehab & passed away. But we are grateful to have been involved in assisting him during the time we were able to do so. It will be difficult for you as you deal with this, but you won’t regret it. My best to you.
The impact of the stroke will vary by where it occurred, ischemic or hemorrhagic, whether the person is right or left handed, etc. OP when you find that out, please let us know as we can be of more help with that additional info.
@VeryHappy - Thanks; in fact, sometimes I think about that essay and believe it’s a good example of what a college application essay should strive to be; simple, unique, and written in your own voice.
Thanks again for all the advice. Fortunately/unfortunately/neutrally, plans have changed. My dad has to move because his apartment complex can’t get him a ground floor unit or a two bedroom unit (housing crisis), and my uncle really wants to take the lead on this. My dad’s going to be moving in with my uncle, instead, and we’re rethinking me taking my dad’s car, because I do admittedly suck at cars. I’m supposed to just calm down, focus on graduate school, and relax. Maybe borrow a motorcycle and unwind.
Thanks again for all the advice!
I still don’t know how he’ll be. His stroke was ischemic, not hemorrhagic like my mom’s, and the long term prognosis is good, but we’re not even guessing at anything until he starts therapy. Which is probably in a couple days. It’s sounding like he’ll be inpatient for a little while, but they’ll release him relatively quickly, because my uncle is unfortunately rather experienced in this kind of caregiving, and they want to get him at my uncle’s home as soon as they can.
So much to deal with. Especially with such a family history be sure you and your sister keep following your own blood pressures and keep up on medications as prescribed. Stress does not help so remember to take care of yourselves as well as your father. Best wishes.
I had a stroke last year. At 42. For me it was my speech and language. It has mostly come back. Names are tricky, sometimes (I’m a teacher, I’m good with kids I teach regularly but meeting people once or twice I used to be able to remember names-now it takes me longer), and I forget words when I’m tired-but so do most people!
I made a TON of progress in the first week. I didn’t lose the ability to walk or move, and, in fact, I had the stroke while I was driving and I drove home and really didn’t know until someone asked me a question and I couldn’t make a sentence. It was very odd.
ANYWAY, hang in there. They’ll help set you up with what you need for rehab based on whether he needs rehab, SLP, neurology, cardiology, etc. I still have one test to do, but we still don’t know what brought this on aside from VERY severe anemia. At this point, just take deep breaths and be glad he is here. I had some awesome neighbors who delivered food for the first 2-3 weeks because I was EXHAUSTED. Then I slowly came around.