You’re a few years ahead of me, but I’m already having some of these thoughts (one difference…we do plan to move out of state and to a warmer climate). My youngest is a HS freshman. For now, I’ve told DH we need to tone down the “we’re out of here!” talk, as I can totally see DS23 thinking ahead to college and worrying that as soon as he leaves for college he won’t have a home.
You’ve had two in college already…did they have a general pattern when “home” became less of a home base? My oldest D came home her first summer, was bored, and won’t be home any more summers. She’s pretty done with this hometown. My DS19 has more of a social network here, so we will see how his first college summer goes. I think I wouldn’t feel comfortable moving before the college freshman has that first summer, but that’s just my thoughts at the moment. I wonder if that summer can be, for the student, a realization that they’ve moved on from hometown and hometown friends a bit, or are able to keep in touch with them without living there, but it doesn’t feel as much like home any more.
My mom moved out of our childhood home when I was a college sophomore. My sis and I were a little sad and wistful about the house itself but also, were pretty wrapped up in ourselves and our lives, to be honest. Dad had moved out a few years earlier with the divorce, both parents moved to condos in our same city. There was no discussion with us kids…our parents were of that era where parents were much more likely to make decisions based on their own wants and needs, not their kids’. It wasn’t hard on me, BUT…the house was out in the boonies, I went to a private HS in the city, so my hometown location wasn’t important at all. Getting together with friends was actually easier than before. I came home all college summers but they each became more and more boring as I lost touch with HS friends and others were doing other things in the summers.
Also my DH and I are having feelings similar to yours about where we live now. Great schools, great community to live in and raise kids, and we are 100% done with it (and the taxes) when our kids are out of the schools. It’s been lovely and we want our kids to maintain relationships with their hometown friends, and will help to accommodate that, but we feel “done” here!