<p>The kids themselves find a need to choose. I don’t know anyone who “locks their kid in a room and tells them to compose.” A student who commits to composing can’t help it, and couldn’t stop writing music if they tried.</p>
<p>If kids want to do two things intensely, they run into problems at some point, and, in mid-teens or so, often seem to naturally begin to cut back on some previous things. This is without any parental involvement at all. Being multi-dimensional and well-rounded is different from being really time and energy-intensive about two things at the same time. </p>
<p>Stress is also a concern. We see this in a lot of kids doing too many things at once. A friend recently quoted a guidance counselor about her daughter’s simultaneous ambitions in academics and dance: “At what cost?” </p>
<p>Down time is such a precious commodity these days. Even just taking 4 courses and doing work-study at college, our son can’t seem to get to the post office.</p>
<p>I have a son who managed to “do it all” in high school: varsity letterman, many music awards, top academics. When he went to college, he let the sport go and participated in a casual way as he had time (it is an individual sport). So he tried to keep up with the study of music performance and theory/composition while studying engineering. It was not long until he had to choose, not because he couldn’t do both but there were just not enough hours in a day. S eventually relegated music to casual lessons with a flexible teacher and playing in a local chamber orchestra, while studying engineering. He decided that making A’s was his first priority. He also tried to double major in engineering and German, which turned out to have many scheduling conflicts as the engineering schedule is fairly rigid and intense. Realistically, a minor is be much more doable. </p>
<p>You can’t tell your children what to choose either…it’s just too hard. I think students know when they are getting overbooked and they are sometimes even relieved to hear from you that they don’t have to do it all.</p>
<p>What about intermural sports? Have others found there is time for that as a performance major? My son (viola performance major) (undergrad) is considering Rice and University of Michigan. He likes basketball.</p>
<p>Probably any sport which is remotely a contact sport is not a good idea for a musician who needs shoulders/elbows/arms/legs/fingers in good shape. A jammed finger, not all that uncommon for basketball players, would not help his practice routine.</p>
<p>lorelie makes a very good point. We’ve had some experience with injuries.</p>
<p>S3 (math not music) was a solid athlete who eschewed interscholastic competition for intramurals at a DI school. During the intramural volleyball championship game, he landed wrong after a spike and basically separated his foot from his leg. The doctors at Yale-New Haven managed to put Humpty-Dumpty back together again; he graduated on crutches. But three years later, that leg is still not the same.</p>
<p>S1 (fine arts) slipped and fell while holding a ceramic mug and sliced his hand open the semester he was scheduled to complete work for his senior show. A lefty, he quickly learned how to paint with his right hand. The show went on as planned. Eventually, he made a full recovery.</p>
<p>I can’t imagine a music major playing competitive sports. S2 (music) was also a successful high-school runner and THAT took a tremendous amount of juggling that often resulted in either an unhappy coach or conductor. He had hoped to be able to compete while pursuing a BM. He was told it couldn’t be done due to schedule conflicts and time demands. He was disappointed but the fact that no teams had anyone majoring in music made him realize this was indeed impossible. He runs for leisure and participates in the occasional road race, which suits him just fine.</p>
<p>Life is a series of compromises, and college provides ample opportunity to practice prioritizing.</p>
<p>turnerhome5: another point…this is where prioritizing enters into the equation of figuring out what to do with the rest of our lives, or at least what to study. He gets to make a choice as to whether he wants the freedom to do the athletic activities he loves as a participant, or whether he can content himself with spectator sports and remain disciplined for his music. Certainly he needs to take care of his body in terms of physical conditioning, but the risk factor is very real, and he has to decide where he will make his personal sacrifice. His music professors would be furious and most intolerant if he misses the orchestra concert because he has banged himself up playing club basketball…they will not cut him any slack for making that kind of choice.</p>
<p>Just watched my son’s final game of baseball. He chose music over athletics in the end - Bard College has no baseball team at all. He’s sad about it, but, in the end, had to decide what was most important to him.</p>
<p>But what a way to reach the end of a path - He was the starting pitcher for his team in the Oakland Coliseum! Couldn’t have written a better script, although it could have used a good soaring score in the background. (No idea what music was going through his head.)</p>
<p>Great Olympics story, SpiritManager! And your son is leaving baseball on top and in style!
I can’t remember – will your son be a freshman at Bard, or has he already started there?</p>
<p>lastbird - my son is now going into his 4th year at Bard (of a five year program.) Amazing how time passes! He hasn’t played baseball there in a few years - but he did end up playing on their first ever club team his freshman year - which they started right when he got there. (They have an actual Div III team now.) Unfortunately, after the first year, all his many rehearsals conflicted with the practices, and games conflicted with concerts, and he gave up baseball for music.</p>
<p>He did play in a summer adult league the last few summers - but this year he thought he had too many composition deadlines, as well as a residency at a New Music Festival, and so didn’t play. So this was his first year without baseball - and he swears it won’t happen again. He misses it too much - so next summer, adult league again :)</p>
<p>I love that Olympic story. So great to see some kids can just have it all!</p>
<p>SpiritManager, such a nice story! Thanks! In son’s Bass studio, one of the players is on the soccer team. They also had a hockey player but he decided that he liked hockey more and left the music program. Son is a third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do but stopped competing at the end of his senior year in high school since he broke his hand twice: once during sparring and once during a board breaking competition. It always amazes me how some musicians seem to juggle so many activities.</p>