<p>My daughter is a sophomore. Very talented composer-sax player-singer. She’s in all the school productions and makes most of the All County bands. Just made all county jazz for alto and all county for tenor. She has been saying for years that she wanted to major in music but goes back and forth between comp and jazz studies.</p>
<p>Her other love has always been horses. She has ridden since she was six years old and competing since about 10. Now she thinks she may want to major in equine studies instead.</p>
<p>When I think of her giving up music it just hurts my heart. I can’t imagine her not pursuing it and i feel like it would be a miistake. Has anyone else had to deal with these crisis of passions when they love more than one thing equally?</p>
<p>There’s no reason I can think of that she couldn’t double major in music and equine studies, if you find a school which offers both. Or she could always do jazz as elective study and participate in the college ensembles. As for composition - what kind of composition are you speaking of - generally when one sees composition offered at the college level it is classically focused. If you’re looking for something else, it’s harder to find, although there are colleges which offer jazz composition, and then a few which offer songwriting.</p>
<p>Many of us have, but it seems like those kids who major in music either can’t imagine doing anything else or who want to give it their all to see how far they can go.
With your D, only she can make that choice and honestly, you can hurt,but she’s the one who has to live with the decision. Bottom line is that she is still very young and doesn’t have to commit to one or the other quite yet. Has she thought of the path that she would pursue in following either? Equine studies could lead to teaching equitation, animal science or maybe vet school. She has varied choices within music and sub-paths in those, such as contemporary voice, pop, jazz, composition, saxaphone performance, so give her time and the chance to explore all of those too.
She’s good for this year and most of next school year. Let her talk, compete, play and take her lessons and see how it shakes out; as she delves deeper into each, or either, the time commitment required will make itself evident and the path will show itself.</p>
<p>She can always major in music and be on an equestrian team. Auburn University has an equestrian team. They take care of the horses as well as compete and I dare say know as much about horses as anyone. They all have varying majors (pre-vet to English) but they all share a love of horses.
My daughter showed horses but finally chose music as her major and horses as a hobby.</p>
<p>First, given the level of musician she is, it is unlikely that music will vanish completely from her life. I know doctor and professors who continue to play in small groups and ensembles as adults. Second your daughter is young and she has to sort out and try on different hats. And in doing that you have no idea where that will take her. Two of my three kids decided not to go into the arts, but their creative selves and the arts they were pursuing successfully as high school students have continued to shape and mold who they are today. Your daughter’s music will be a part of her and even if she never picks up the sax again, which is unlikely, her music training will have given her knowledge about how she learns, how to work with others and a sense of what it is like to succeed. You have done a wonderful job supporting her now you get to watch her chart her own unique course. Rather than sad, it is exciting. And as I said you have no idea where this will take her.</p>
<p>As Scubachick said, she could major in music and be on an equestrian team. Son was going to do the Equestrian team at his school in lieu of gym but after being thrown off the horse he decided it was detrimental to his musical endeavors. There are so many choices available for your daughter that I am sure she will find a place that will allow her to pursue her passions.</p>
<p>My son who is an extremely gifted pianist decided not to pursue performance. He is looking at a double major with one including music. Personally it was hard to hear that he wasn’t interested, teachers and judges had told me for years he was a natural performer. My husband and I stepped back and let him choose. I know wherever he goes in life he will have music and he needs to make that decision. I understand what you mean when you say, “my heart hurts”, but keeping any negative thoughts to yourself would be prudent. We have supported my son quite vocally when people criticize his choice to not pursue performance…that doesn’t mean it is what we would have chosen for him, but we want him to know we back him 100%. </p>
<p>Our D2 had many passions that were pretty equal, including music and hunter/jumper riding! Over the years we encouraged her and supported her efforts, but as each required more practice to continue to progress she was forced to make some choices. We did our best to make sure she had good information to make her choices (including helping her think through longer term impacts, and options that would allow her to stay involved in an activity but at a different level), but we tried to stay in “supporting” rather than “directing” mode. While D2’s choice might not always be ours (really hard NOT to direct sometimes), we think she has to figure it out for herself and we first and foremost want her to be happy with her choices. We do talk about commitments and not overextending - if she commits to an activity she needs to honor it and we don’t tolerate complaining about how much time that commitment takes!
So far it’s going ok. In eighth grade D2 loved math & science (academic teams, etc.), two instruments (in orchestra and band), swim team, softball team, and hunter/jumper. Over the last four years she slowly dropped team sports (runs on her own now), “downgraded” one instrument to secondary and only studies it privately, and eventually gave up riding regularly. With each choice we have noted she tends to push it as long as she can before she drops anything, and then she seems okay with her choice - a little sad but no huge regrets. Probably the hardest to give up was the riding, but it was her choice.
She’s kept up her primary instrument and her love of math & science and is now in the midst of dual degree applications. Time will tell if engineering or music ever have to give way for the other…</p>