<p>My son attends an honors program at a lousy public high school. He does well and, because his school is mediocre, has time for many ECs: an excellent regional youth chorus, private piano lessons, and two high school sports. He is also teaching himself guitar and spends many hours composing music for the piano and guitar (by ear). His musical work shows promise. </p>
<p>Next year, because he will have increased religious school demands and regular school becomes more intensive, he needs to drop an EC. The question is: which one?</p>
<p>Son says he would keep the sports (for social purposes) and continue playing the piano and guitar by ear. He might keep chorus (because their touring schedule for next year is interesting). He would drop piano lessons because his teacher focuses on reading music over playing by ear, something that gives him little satisfaction.</p>
<p>Ultimately, this has to be my son?s choice, but I worry that my son will shortchange himself by ending his formal musical training. The regional chorus, for example, exposes him to a range of music, but does not require him to sight-read. I don?t presume he will go back to piano lessons later in high school. One musical friend of mine, who noticed my son?s ability at an early age, always has encouraged me to have him learn to read music well and gain a solid base in musical theory. If he keeps piano, though, it probably would require him dropping a sport . . .or dropping chorus. Any suggestions for a musical kid with a fine ear but little patience for reading music?</p>
<p>I think it depends entirely on what he wants to do with music in his life, and the role it plays.</p>
<p>Does he want to play by himself, mostly by ear, or in an informal setting, where sight or note reading may be less important? Are his musical aspirations completely avocational? If he answers yes to these questions, dropping piano may make complete sense, because kids simply do not have the time to achieve at a number of activities at a high level.</p>
<p>In the long run, for more serious musicians, reading music is absolutely essential, so if he has any desire to play more seriously in the future, I wouldn’t advise your son dropping his lessons.</p>
<p>I have a great ear for music, and I really see the limitations, with my less than stellar sight reading, now, as an adult. My son, on the other hand, is a superb sight reader. Had I to do again, I would have relied less on my ear and more on the page, even tho I also enjoyed it less.</p>
<p>Good luck to him, whatever he decides.</p>
<p>Can he “take a break” from piano lessons during the school year and take them during the summer? He wouldn’t be progressing at the same rate, but he wouldn’t lose everything, either. He obviously is interested in the guitar and improvising on the piano, so there is no danger in losing his love of music.
The nice thing about music, is that what you learn once can easily be relearned later. It may take him some practice to regain the facility he once had, but it’s not lost forever.
Piano is something my daughter chose to give up in high school after 8 years of lessons, for the same reasons you son feels he should. There are only so many hours in a day. Now, as an adult college student, she loves playing the piano. She especially loves to improvise, but will play around with some of the classical pieces she learned as well. I’m sure she would like to be able to sit down and run through difficult material like she would had she stayed with her lessons, but at what price? At that time, as well as now, other priorities were more important to her. Let your son decide his priorities.</p>
<p>What he wants to do with music in his life?
He is young and sorting things out. I don’t see him becoming a classical musician, but having music play some part in his work life is possible. </p>
<p>Had I to do again, I would have relied less on my ear and more on the page. . .
I hear this from every musician I talk with.</p>
<p>Can he “take a break” from piano lessons during the school year and take them during the summer?
That’s a very good idea, though I suspect he won’t be thrilled to start formal training again. It is worth exploring.</p>
<p>Let your son decide his priorities.
Of course, it will have to be this way. A mom can nudge, though, no? </p>
<p>Does anyone have any thoughts regarding the benefits of chorus versus piano lessons? Chorus teaches him a lot about performance and musical genres (is that the right word?). Given that he has been singing for years, though, chorus seems pretty light on music theory.</p>
<p>I think you should let the kid do what he wants to do. He’s old enough to realize the implications of any decision, so trust him to make it for himself. I’d say the majority of guitarists drop lessons after getting a good start on it. I’m assuming he doesn’t play classical guitar, in which case this would not be as true. He’s likely playing primarily classical music on the piano in his lessons, as well. If he enjoys playing blues or rock and roll or something that he doesn’t learn in conventional lessons, then that’s fine. He should have the technique down to produce a quality sound, and it sounds as if he knows enough to enjoy himself. (If the issue is solely with his teacher and current lessons, then he should look into finding a teacher who caters to sight-reading, improvising, or generally teaching non-classical music.) I know many fantastic non-classical pianists who can’t even read music. I know other pianists who studied classical music but were never naturals at reading music and always struggled with it. There are many serious, classical musicians who are completely dependent on the page–this isn’t desireable, either. Since your son has no aspirations of becoming a professional, classical musician, it isn’t as if his decision is going to seriously harm him in the future (in which case my advice would be very, very different). He would rather be social and play sports than practice music by himself; that’s a decision the vast majority of teenage boys would make. I think it’s a fine decision for him. I don’t see a problem with it. I played music seriously all through school, and the social aspect should matter; it’s not a trivial thing. I spent hours every day last summer playing, practicing, and really working hard on my music. I absolutely loved it, but sitting alone in a room working hard for hours on end while your friends relax and hang out is a choice that very few people can make. There are sacrifices in each direction with this decision, and both choices are valid, in my opinion.</p>
<p>Some additional thoughts…</p>
<p>We bought a grand piano when my son was about ten. One piano we tried out was in the home of a family with a college aged boy home. My son sat down to play (and played quite exquisitely for a ten year old) and the young man gave him advice at that time that he never forgot, which was to try to push through the middle school years, when he would feel like quitting, because most boys do feel like quitting piano at age 12 or 13 (and again at 15 or 16). He wished he had kept with the piano at that age, because it really is harder to go back.</p>
<p>My son still remembers that advice. He isn’t cut out to be a solo concert pianist, at all, but his level of play is extremely high, and a source of pleasure to him as he plays for other people, accompanies other people, etc. </p>
<p>But Corranged’s point is very, very well taken. Solo practice is not for everyone, particularly for social kids. My son practices significantly less than many other kids of his level, because he is very social too. But he manages to practice and be an extrovert, knowing that he doesn’t aspire to play solo at Carnegie Hall. </p>
<p>That;s what I mean about thinking about aspirations. Your son has to think abotu what he wants from piano, or music, in the long term.</p>
<p>I agree that solo practice tends not to be as much fun. One of the reasons my oldest liked band so much in elementary school. But I wish you could send you the piano teacher my son had. She was a very low key unschooling homeschooling parent and took a lot of that attitude to her piano lessons. She really was able to gear lessons to what the kid wanted to learn, while at the same time making sure that there was enough learning to read music. Playing by ear, and learning to improvise were part of the whole picture. Maybe you can find a teacher that’s a better fit for where he is right now?</p>
<p>I think you should let him do what he wants to do. If later, he decides to take formal music lessons, he can do that. Some people do this for the first time even when they are middle aged or older.</p>