How have u taken advantage of your educational opportunities?
<pre><code>I see my educational opportunities in two perspectives; both my fathers and my own. I was born in the Fiji Islands, a land of meager schooling and grim chances at success, and when my mother died my father decided to take advantage of the educational opportunities he saw for me. He saw a future for my education in America and so he left his life to come here. In essence, my father took advantage of my biggest opportunity-simply to give me a chance.
When I came to America, I developed my own perspective on education. I found that I wanted to be a physician and worked towards it by doing whatever it took to learn and earn the grades desired by all aspiring scholars. In high school, an opportunity presented itself; The Business Careers Academy. In short, it is an academy where students take business classes such as accounting, business, and law. With these necessary skills, I can open a practice, or even pursue other opportunities if my wind decides to blow another way. The BCA is not offered everywhere, and so it is an opportunity in itself to be part of it. After all, the chance to learn should be coveted by all.
</code></pre>
<p>I think the first half talks more about your father than you. They want to know if you have taken advantage of educational opportunities, not you father. But, the second half sounds pretty good.</p>
<p>It’s really hard to comment. You really need the help of an english teacher.</p>
<p>You say you have your father’s and your own perspecitve on education but you don’t explain either. Do you really mean perspective? or do you possibly mean experience.</p>
<p>Some sentences don’t make sense: “In essence, my father took advantage of my biggest…” that needs to be fixed.</p>
<p>This is misuse of a colloquial expression should be changed:“if my wind decides to blow another way”</p>
<p>Again passive voice: “The BCA is not offered everywhere, and so it is an opportunity in itself to be part of it.” Also why not explain where it is offered or say how it is limited, rather than say it’s “not offered everywhere”. Passive “it is an opportunity in itself to be part of it.” try saying that you took the opportunity, rather than say vaguely that ‘one’ should.
Try not to use the passive voice: “In high school, an opportunity presented itself; The Business Careers Academy.” Instead try “In high school, I was presented with the opportunity to attend…”</p>
<p>Leave off extra empty words:“In short, it is an academy” just say “It is an academy…”</p>
<p>Overall you two paragraphs are appropriate for an answer to this question, but the writing is poor. Also, try to be direct and say what you mean instead of evading the point.</p>
<p>I think it’s good. My personal oppinion is taht it’s a stupid question to ask especially when the uc’s can just look at a person’s EC’s/ Volunteership/ jobs/educational programs they’ve participated in to answer their own question. For my 200 I wrote how I took the classes I had a huge interest and how I pursued my own interests instead of taking ap’s in classes i would hate. I don’t think mine was good, but at least I was honest.</p>
<p>I think for being 200 words it’s good, you can only say so much when it’s 200 words.</p>