<p>Basically he doesn’t care what I think or say. He is lazy. He micromanages what I do, is extremely bossy, and is a huge <em>insert a bunch of inappropriate words</em>. I have to do what he wants and how he wants – no questions asked. </p>
<p>I realized now that he only does this to me and even my coworkers have pointed it out! </p>
<p>Well I used to have two asst. managers. One was him (the jerk) and the other a really nice understanding one. The nice one was promoted so now this jerk manager is stuck being my boss for another few months and he’s been crazy micromanaging me. </p>
<p>He acts like I can’t do my job! Or he won’t let me and wants me to do it his way. </p>
<p>With this situation, I don’t think I can approach HR since he isn’t really doing anything illegal. He’s just a jerk. </p>
<p>I know jerk bosses exist everywhere but I plan to stay at this job for another year until I am of age to be promoted. </p>
<p>And I feel like because he only picks on me, this is a problem. </p>
<p>Can I approach HIS boss (our general manager?) or should I just deal with it for another year? He’s making work for me very stressful since he does it only to me.</p>
<p>Start documenting the instances of his “picking on you”. While isolated incidents may be insignificant, a bunch of them over a period of time could establish a pattern of negative behavior which could be actionable by HR or other legal means. </p>
<p>Also, try strengthening your relationships with your colleagues…especially those who know he’s only doing it to you and make sure they’re willing to support you when needed both morally and if the behavior escalates. If it does escalate, some options include reporting it to higher-level supervisors, HR, and possibly consulting an employment attorney. </p>
<p>I’d also recommend asking yourself if you can stick it out with this jerky boss for the “another few months” as you’ve mentioned or not. Try facilitating this by finding moral support both among friendly trustworthy colleagues and moreso, among family and friends outside of work.</p>
<p>Lullabies, I wonder how he perceives your attitude. When you say that he is bossy and a micromanager, you do realize that if he is, in fact, the boss, then it is his job to both manage and boss you. The question is where the line between managing and micromanaging stands. If he doesn’t have confidence that you are following his directions, he may feel that he has no choice. Do you have a pleasant, respectful attitude that shows that you know who makes the decisions? Employees who think they know better than their boss aren’t very popular, and very often they don’t know better because they don’t have the experience and access to information that their bosses have, and don’t know what their bosses actually do.</p>
Do I need like voice recordings or something? Because we’re not allowed to use our phones at work or any of that sort. All of his picking on me is verbal. For example, he once took me aside to imply that I couldn’t do my job correctly or treat customers wrong. I would only have my word and my colleagues’ (though sometimes he only says these things to me when it’s just me and him).</p>
<p>
I would only go to this as a last option. I work for a really large corporation and once I am of age and graduate, I will have doors open up to me left and right. Although it isn’t required that I stay, it would be better and easier since my company prefers internal transferring.</p>
<p>
cnp55 has got most of it. I work in a restaurant within a casino. Most jobs require you to be 21+. It’s very very hard to find an 18+ job, but I luckily landed it.</p>
<p>
Zooersmom, thanks for bringing this up. I’m aware of how I react to him. I listen and obey everything he says. However, I do peep up if I truly believe what he tells me is wrong. For example, in my other thread, I posted that he is lazy and doesn’t really take responsibility for things – as a manager should. Since I work in a hotel/casino, we have to apologize. The manager always must apologize for everything, whether or not we were wrong.</p>
<p>My scenario was that I had a customer yell+swear at me because he didn’t want to wait ~15 minutes for a table. I told my manager a customer was swearing at me (we are to report to MOD when a customer threatens us), he told me to just seat the guest. I peeped up going “Are you sure?” because we were already on a wait list and I had paged some tables to come in! So the open tables were already reserved for guests on their way. He replied saying something like “Yes, don’t question me. I’m your manager and you listen to what I say. I’m your manager, don’t question me.”</p>
<p>Consequently, later, these guests came and were angry that they had to wait an additional 10-15 minutes for a new table because I sat the one dude. And when I told my manager we had angry customers waiting, he said “Who cares? We don’t have any tables.”</p>
<p>I see so many things wrong with this situation which is why I decided to say something because:
We never let a guest ‘cut’ the wait list unless they are VIP. But this guy wasn’t – he was just an impatient bro who didn’t want to wait 15 minutes for a table.
The guy was threatening me and my manager did nothing about it.
The customer was mad (the one who swore at me) and my manager did not even talk to him or apologize to him about what happened. I did, my co-worker did, and he is supposed to as well but he just didn’t.
Not to mention, by sitting this ONE angry customer, I ended up having like 3-4 angry parties at my throat. And again, my manager just told me to deal.
The manager who was promoted would always help us in these situations by apologizing and reassuring guests. Because the manager apologizing/reassuring guests mean so much more than my apology, they always calm down! </p>
<p>^ He does things like that a lot, and then will turn around to say stuff like “Is this how you treat customers? I don’t think you can do this job if this is what you do.”</p>
<p>And just yesterday – he asked me if I had a plan for the big party on wait. I said no not yet, and he told me to go find a plan. It’s ridiculous because I’ve been at my job for a year now and never once do I ever have a “plan” for big parties. We just wait and see what tables get up or are on their dessert course 30-40 minutes after we put the big parties on our list. In the year that I’ve worked, I’ve never had to “plan” for big parties and neither has anyone else. Even my coworker asked him, “why does she need a plan? We’ve got this.” And he just told me to go find a plan. It makes NO sense, but I went ahead and did it anyway with my coworker questioning him for me. </p>
<p>I’m not sure, but am I the only person who sees something wrong with how he handles situations and treats me? This is only ME by the way – he doesn’t treat other co-workers this way. I was the last to be hired and my other co-workers have worked here before he was hired so they suspect that he just picks on me because he knows I will keep quiet and will just take it since I am the youngest. (I am the youngest in terms of seniority and age)</p>
<p>Actually, if this is just a job and not really a career type situation, I would suck it up, be respectful and deal with it. Try to make peace. You will run across lots of bosses like this in retail and restaurant. Just about everywhere you go there will be some sort of annoying drama. Smile and do what you’re told if it is not illegal, unethical or fattening.</p>
<p>Your “peeping up” might be a big part of the problem in his eyes. If he tells you to seat the guest, then smile and seat the guest. Don’t say, “Are you sure?” </p>
<p>There are certain places of employment that are high-concept, or where decisions are made on an ongoing basis. In those places, bosses want employees to “peep up” so that high-quality thinking gets done. Unfortunately, a restaurant is not one of those places. Your job is to serve the customers, not to debate. </p>
<p>You are not going to turn him into a pleasant or consistent boss. Unless he does something illegal, there’s no point in going to his boss, because you are not going to win that fight. The company has a lot more invested in him than they do in you, and you are more expendable than he is. So if you can’t do as cromette suggests, then use your off-hours to go job hunting.</p>
<p>lullabies – the example you posted was very helpful because it shows all the issues you and he are dealing with in your business. Here is my guess as to the dynamic: your boss doesn’t always know what to do. There are often no right answers – you placate one complaining customer and aggravate four more. He is in charge, and he wants his orders obeyed, and he might feel that you are pointing out his mistakes. No one – boss or underling – likes it when someone points out they screwed up. When you say “I see so many things wrong with this situation” you might be communicating that feeling without saying a word.</p>
<p>Here is my suggestion: even though he’s the boss and you’re the subordinate, could you try and verbalize the challenge at hand (because I think you’re upset that he doesn’t value or listen to your feedback): “gee, this guy is complaining pretty loudly about waiting 15 minutes for a table, but if we seat him, the other people on the list will be upset.” (pause) “I guess we could seat the complaining guy and offer the other people a free drink?”</p>
<p>Then maybe your boss will feel like you’re working with him to fix an unfixable situation.</p>
<p>I predict that if you suggest giving out free drinks, he will use it as evidence that you can’t handle customers and do not care about the bottom line of the restaurant. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a good solution to the problem, and would work IF you were dealing with a good person.</p>
<p>He obviously is not only a weasel but insecure, and happy to avoid dealing with unpleasant customers, throwing both the responsibility and the blame on you. You are the lowest person on the totem pole, and he senses he can get away with it.</p>
<p>Going forward, I think you should assume that he is NOT going to step up and perform the function of manager in those difficult situations. So rather than report a nasty customer up the line, I would just cite policy to the customer, “I’m sorry, but there are several parties ahead of you. We’ll seat you as soon as we can.” You’ll have to just take the abuse, unless the situation is really getting out of hand.</p>
<p>Many decades ago when I worked retail I had this kind of manager. There’s basically nothing you can do about him. If you want a career with this organization, do your job as well as you can, keep your head down, and wait. If you don’t, look for another job.</p>
<p>I agree. This boss is a jerk, and OP is stuck with him or finding another job.</p>
<p>He doesn’t care about inconvenience or comfort of OP. He is not looking for help in finding good solutions, really. He just wants employees that do what they’re told when they’re told to do it…period.</p>
<p>So you can do that for him or find another job.</p>
<p>I agree that your boss is a bully. I agree that you are in a no-win situation. I tell you this as validation – I have no brilliant ideas, but I work in a similar place and I can tell you that there is no scenario where the jerk is on the losing end of things. As a bully, he is looking to dominate, harass, confuse and otherwise be a pain. You are the target, and as such, there is little you can do to either change or please him. If you do things without asking, he’ll have your head. If you ask, you will be an idiot who needs direction. If you ask someone else, you are undermining him…etc., etc… Bullies like to change the rules so you are never right. That’s what they do. </p>
<p>Documenting is the usual strategy but you can hardly keep a notebook on your person while working a shift; you can’t email yourself, or record him. Documenting only serves to back up your case if and when he escalates the behaviors. Try and write down the incidents as soon as you are alone – perhaps a notebook in your car, or purse. Don’t keep it at work (imagine if it were found)</p>
<p>Otherwise, you can only accept that he is what he is. You can tough it out, or look for another job (which seems so completely unfair, and also is very hard to do). But he will not change, and you will not be able to change him. My only concrete suggestion is to speak to him as little as possible, and then keep it to minimal amounts. Try to not complain to your coworkers. (again, I know that’s hard to do) None of this is fair, but it gets you through for now, with an eye on the better position you have earned.</p>
<p>I don’t see the point of documenting, in this case. He’s not doing anything illegal. It’s not illegal to be a jerk. HR isn’t going to do anything on the say-so of a very junior employee.</p>
<p>I also agree with the idea that asking, “Are you sure?” only makes sense if you are then going to give him further information that you think will (not should, but will) change his instruction. “Are you sure? That table is on fire, so we might not want to seat someone there” or “Are you sure you want to seat Mr. Complainer there? George Clooney has reserved that table and I see him walking over here right now.” Otherwise just suck it up and do what he says. And wait the few months until you can change jobs.</p>
<p>I have two trainees that ask me if I am sure all the time and it drives me nuts, especially when we were busy. When they were new I didn’t mind if they asked “why” because they needed to understand how I came to the decision I did, 6+ months later now they are just being snotty. In their case “are you sure” translates to “I don’t agree with you” and I don’t have time to argue with trainees.</p>
<p>I’m sympathetic, but I do think your “peeping up” might be coming across to your boss differently than you think it is and that may be getting you negative attention. I say find a new job or buck up. Something to realize is that it is not worth it to stay in a job for the advancent opportunities if you don’t get along with management and won’t advance anyway. If he’s genuinely singling you out I don’t see a promotion in your future anyway. I don’t see that there is anything you can do about this manager but leave.</p>
<p>@CardinalFang oh just to clarify, I did explain to him after I asked him if he was sure. Just told me to do as he says and not to question the manager. </p>
<p>Thanks for the advice guys! I will definitely just suck it up and keep contact at a minimal and just agree and do as he says. </p>
<p>@freenbutton: thank you so much for the reassurance. As my first jerk boss, I really wish there was something I could do but oddly comforting to know that they exist everywhere and even adults face this. I will take your advice on keeping my mouth shut even to my coworkers didn’t think about that but it can see how this could affect me.</p>
didn’t think about that but it can see how this could affect me.</p>