<p>My boss sent me a friend invitation on Facebook. I do NOT want to accept it, but feel very uncomfortable refusing it… I am ignoring it and hoping it goes away. :)</p>
<p>I know I could set my privacy settings so she can’t see my wall, photos tagged of me, etc., but I feel sneaky doing that. I do have a couple of co-workers who I am Facebook friends with, and worry that one of them will mention something that she can’t see. I figure she would catch on that I am blocking her, and that would be as bad as ignoring the friend request to begin with. Arghh… Has anyone else dealt with this?</p>
<p>Seriously, though… Once I had my priest, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins, my co-workers, my in-laws, and my stepmother as friends, I kind of felt like I couldn’t put anything up on my profile that my boss shouldn’t see.</p>
<p>So I deleted comments written in frustration, untagged photos of me at wedding receptions where I had a little too much champagne, and I just keep my Facebook profile as a light, comedic commentary about the goings-on in my life. I have some childhood pictures that I’m fond of up there, and wedding pictures (which I’m willing to share with anyone who will stand still long enough), some photos from work, and things along those lines. Anything that my boss/mom/priest shouldn’t see shouldn’t be on the Internet!! =)</p>
<p>My first reaction was to think, “No way.” But after reading Aibarr’s comment, it does seem like it could be a good deterrent for putting things on the Internet that shouldn’t be there to begin with.</p>
<p>However, if you are uncomfortable, I think you should tell your boss why. I think Miss Manners would say that it is appropriate to keep a line between business and social activities, and you could explain to your boss that you are trying to do that. (But you made it complicated by including some co-workers already.)</p>
<p>Are you on Linked in? If I get a friend request from a business associate who is not really a friend, I respond by sending them a linked in invite.
I have enjoyed seeing family pics on facebook…but overall, I’m not crazy about it. I received a number of unwanted friend requests, get annoyed at all the narcissistic postings, and have a large number of friends who are not on it. Sometimes I think about deactivating…</p>
<p>I agree with toneranger, I keep my work related friends through Linkedin and keep my family and social friends through Facebook. I’m not in “love” with facebook but it is handy for keeping up with far flung friends and family.</p>
<p>White lies sometimes work well–just tell your boss that you are on Facebook only to keep up with your college kids, and that you don’t use it otherwise. And that you know she wouldn’t be interested in the pics your college students post…</p>
<p>Defriend the coworkers, explain to them the boss situation and say you think it’s better to have a new policy of no work colleagues on facebook. Then reject the boss invitation.</p>
<p>I heartily agree. And this is the message that I try to get my kids to understand. Even emails can be shared, intentionally or unintentionally. Think hard before hitting share, post, or send.</p>
<p>The difference is that the small number of co-workers I am friends with ARE also my real-life friends. They know about my pets, kids, ex, etc. I really would prefer not to unfriend them.</p>
<p>I do have a LinkedIn account (and am already linked to the boss on that). That is a good suggestion if the link didn’t already exist (I used this when a co-worker of my daughter’s that I barely knew wanted to friend me last year).</p>
<p>I don’t post inappropriate stuff, but an example of something I wouldn’t want her to see would be that I posted about a job interview I was excited about a few months ago. Can’t have that in front of the current boss…</p>
<p>I guess I will just ignore it for now. If she mentions it, I will accept, and block content from her.</p>
<p>“just tell your boss that you are on Facebook only to keep up with your college kids, and that you don’t use it otherwise”</p>
<p>If you do this, be sure that your privacy settings don’t show your whole list of friends to anyone who searches for you. If the boss sees that you have 700 friends, she’s not going to believe that you just use it for your kids.</p>
<p>So it shouldn’t be on the 'net… you should probably go back and delete that post. It takes some extra effort… Everyone knows about my husband living in Utah for his job and me living in Texas for mine, but I can’t give the impression that I’m looking for a job out there. (At this point, there are no jobs to look for, for either of us, so it’s a moot point… but it’s an example of the sorts of things I wouldn’t be able to mention)</p>
<p>It actually helps me really segment what’s “public” and what’s “private,” it helps keep me from flying off the handle when I’m frustrated and need to vent (Facebook’s not the place to vent about anything!), and it’s a good reminder that I need to be careful about what I say out loud on the internet. I think it’s made me more disciplined.</p>
<p>It’s such a slippery slope. I’m in my mid/late-20’s and so all my friends are on Facebook. There was a point at which I was trying to decide who to friend and who not to friend, and was getting pretty angsty about determining where to draw the line, and keeping track of who I’d friended and who I hadn’t, and trying to remember not to talk about my Facebook status at work in front of people I hadn’t friended, and being embarassed when someone mentioned something to me about things I’d posted on Facebook around other people who I hadn’t friended…</p>
<p>Too much thinking involved. Too much complexity! My life is complex enough without my fabricating angst through something as silly as Facebook. I just decided to streamline my profile, let everyone get to know the facets of my personality that were appropriate for everyone to see, and let everyone be my friend.</p>
<p>It’s been good in a lot of ways. Several coworkers that I didn’t know that well have discovered that I have a sense of humor. I’ve discovered that my extended family and my college friends have eerily similar tastes in comedy, and they’ll talk to each other through comments. It’s kind of fun and kind of cool, like the collision of your different worlds that you get when you get married and invite everyone you know to your wedding, and see what happens when they interact.</p>
<p>Anyhow. I just feel safer in the knowledge that whatever I put on the internet is safe for public consumption, no matter who or where they’re from. I really don’t feel like internet anonymity can be counted on, and that I should be held accountable for everything I post.</p>