"My boy was just like me..." A more positive spin on "Cats in the Cradle"

Parent Cafe
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<p>Warning: bragging ahead, and I’m soliciting my fellow CCer’s for comments on how the way they parented their children has affected their children for the good…</p>

<p>Remember Harry Chapin’s song “Cats in the Cradle”? </p>

<p>[CATS</a> IN THE CRADLE LYRICS - CAT STEVENS](<a href=“404”>404)</p>

<p>The line “my boy was just like me” from that song came to mind the other day. I really hadn’t thought much about what effect my parenting style had on my grown children’s lives. Then I saw some photos on my 28 year old son’s facebook page. He had posted pictures of the fence he was building around his back yard. A couple of the pictures showed his sons “helping” with the fence building. One photo showed his three year old dragging a fence piece. The boy was saying “building a fence is very hard work.” The other photo showed the 18 month old with a wrench in his hand, turning a bolt with his dad’s help. The boy had a proud, joyful look on his face. I thought that those photos could have been of me and my sons twenty some years ago.</p>

<p>I was never much for what are probably more stereotypical parenting activities—ie sports, camping, fishing etc. Instead I included them in both my home and business projects. (I own a small manufacturing business.) They helped with downed trees and branches, operating a small tractor and log splitter. They helped with all matter of building projects. When they were younger, it was definitely not an efficient way to work, but they seemed to enjoy hanging out with their dad. As they grew older, they were very helpful. When we did do less utilitarian, more fun projects, we built go carts and combat robots. They grew up to be very competent with tools and starting and completing projects. </p>

<p>I also think that me being self employed increased the chances that they too would see the advantages to that option.</p>

<p>Now, my older son owns his own software engineering company. The second son (age 26) majored in business/entrepreneurship and now owns a short haul moving company. He bought two old cube trucks and fixed them up himself. He just bought another truck. He is planning on fixing this one up to be part of a snow plowing business… He has four employees.</p>

<p>I’m betting that other CCer’s have looked back on the way they parented their children and have had proud moments, seeing themselves in their children. I hope you’ll share your stories.</p>

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<p>Without going into the details-- I recently heard my son say “Now you know where I get it” to his fianc</p>

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<p>Son: “That deodorant you bought for me is great. That, or the shampoo. I can’t tell you how many girls come up and tell me how nice I smell.”</p>

<p>Me: “Son, they’re hitting on you.”</p>

<p>Son: “Really? Cuz I can’t tell the difference.”</p>

<p>Sometimes talking to him is like having a mirror that shows myself 30 years ago. He’s a great kid, but absolutely clueless about females.</p>

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<p>Such a sweet post Northernbadger. I know exactly the look you speak of when you describe the face of his 18 month old son.</p>

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<p>OP, your Ss were lucky guys, learning so much that is of practical use. The next generation as well. </p>

<p>I have really enjoyed the ways certain traits have miraculously skipped a generation. Some of the things most enjoyable about my dad, I see in my kids. Like him, they are multi lingual travelers, who never hesitate to take off for a new part of the world. One D majored in geology, his field in the early part of his work life, and a life long avocation, besides. The funny thing is, they never really knew him, as he lived overseas and passed away when they were in HS.</p>

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<p>I second your thoughts, Great Lakes mom. My son has my father’s gregarious nature, able to make friends anywhere, and talk with anyone about anything. My older daughter was using power tools with her grandfather while still in preschool. Even though he passed away when she was only eight, she still can fix things, figure out any problem and is our go-to person when things must be assembled. My youngest was just named “class wit.” I had to laugh, because she’s very quiet, but I guess her grandfather’s ironic sense of humor continues to live on! It is comforting to see his qualities in my children.</p>