<p>Alright, so college decisions came in, and I was very unhappy that my brother didn’t get into any of the reach school he applied to (MIT, Caltech, Princeton, Duke, and Brown). Not even UCLA. But he did get into Berkeley, UCSB, UCR, USC, and Reed.
I tried so hard to convince him to go to Reed, but he wasn’t so sure because our family didn’t feel it was worth paying extra for private school. He eliminated USC and Berkeley because he didn’t like them when he visited.
He pinned his choice down to Reed and UCSB. But after his 2 day visit, he loved UCSB and he’s chosen it regardless of cost. Apparently he liked how nice and welcoming the girls there were…</p>
<p>I feel terrible. My brother is SO mellow and calm. He doesn’t do small talk but he’s so pure and genuine…completely the opposite of me. I knew Reed would be his type of thing (He loves liberal arts and sciences. He’s a great writer too.) He’s completely opposite of drugs, sex, party culture, etc. I think he’s doing a big mistake. But he insists he’s okay. He’s excited about studying history/science in the College of Creative Arts and Studies or w/e,</p>
<p>i think your brother should make the decison for himself. If he thinks that the college is good for him, and it will make him happy, then you shouldn’t force him to go to the other school. Even though he is totally the opposite from the reputaion of the school, he should be able to handle himself, and find people who are similar to him.If he later decides he doesn’t like, he can transfer. tranferring is never a problem. He probably thinks that the decison he is making for himeself is right.</p>
<p>What should you do? Let him be, if he decides that UCSB isn’t for him, he will transfer. But what if he loves it there? And it is a party school but that doesn’t mean that everyone there parties, he may find he loves them or hang out with people who don’t go to parties where there’s drugs/alcohol</p>
<p>I agree with the others–especially when it comes to convincing him to transfer.</p>
<p>Let your brother go to the college he selected and decide for himself whether he’s happy and successful there. And if he is happy and successful, why on earth should he transfer?</p>
<p>I don’t know…he’s my little brother, and sometimes I think he’s not old enough to be on his own and make decisions. I want to make sure he’s happy. He’s so pure and good hearted. To this day, I’ve never met anyone as kind as he.
He would’ve been easily used by other people if I didn’t step in to protect him back in the days. I’m completely the opposite of my brother, so maybe that’s why I love and appreciate him a lot.</p>
<p>Till this day, we’ve never fought on anything.</p>
<p>He’ll never be ready to make his own decisions if you keep making his decisions for him.</p>
<p>That sounds snarky, but I mean it sincerely. We all learn to take care of ourselves by taking care of ourselves. Sometimes we make mistakes. When we do, we need to fix them. Ourselves.</p>
<p>thats what parents say. The ones who let it go normally end up happy. My sister and I are doing polar opposite things and will go down very separate career paths. My parents and I told her that some choices she makes may not leave her financially stable for a while, but it was her life and her decision. If your brother is ready to live with the consequences (good or bad) then wish him well and be happy for him.</p>
<p>It is rare that someone passes up on a top school for one they truly like. I respect that</p>
<p>Stay out of your brother’s business. HE is the one who will living at the college for the next 4 years. And do not say anything about transferring. If he wants your opinion, he’ll ask for it.</p>
<p>[btw, Reed is reputed to have significant drug use among its students, so don’t be so sure it’s your brother’s “type of thing.”]</p>
<p>In addition to the comments posted here, although you only made a minor mention of it, the College of Creative Studies is top notch ([here’s</a> just one recent example](<a href=“Public Affairs & Communications | Institutional Advancement”>Public Affairs & Communications | Institutional Advancement).) The stats of admitted applicants to that college are approximately equivalent to UCLA and UC Berkeley admits, and students within that college get great research opportunities and a LAC experience within a large state school. Stop by the UCSB forum on here if you want, I’d like to think our experiences are a little more useful than what Princeton Review and College P… say.</p>
<p>We know a lot of kids who go to UCSB who are not into the partying and are the types that you describe, similar to your brother. Even though UCSB has that party reputation, there are a lot of other things to do there. Let your brother make his own decisions. If it is not a fit, he will figure that out for himself and go from there.</p>
<p>Your bro is going to have a smile on his face at UCSB - the hotties are fierce! You’re just gonna have to let go. It is what it is. Remeber the first time he crossed the street without holding your hand - it all worked out. Time for you to focus on what makes the Saiyans happy.</p>
<p>I understand that you might be worried for him, but, honestly, I think it would be best for him to learn from his own (potential) mistake. If you push for him to transfer you might be what causes him to not enjoy college (if you remind him the worst of it) and you will certainly generate animosity.</p>
<p>If he wants to transfer or not go there, great, but let him choose. I think that the most you should do is make your recommendation and then see what happens.</p>
<p>but seriously, the worst thing that could happen is he hates UCSB. As long as he has reasons that make sense to him and this is what he wants, it will be ok</p>
<p>I dont think the OP is doing that. Seems like people started attacking him. I think the OP had a valid concern - that he was worried for his brother. And I think the overwhelming majority is that you can advise him, but this is his own choice.</p>
<p>I think your brother is very lucky to have a caring brother. It just there is a time when they need to choose for themselves. Seems that people are jumping the OP for something that seems fairly minor. Its not as though he is forcing him to go. Just let him choose and support him. Try to make UCSB as good for him as possible.</p>
<p>Sounds to me that your brother made his choice after both a visit and some thinking. And it’s time you accepted that choice and send him off with a very hearty “Good luck! You’ve chosen a great school!”</p>