If she has an upward trend in grades, and has continually made good grades, she’ll be alright. My Step-D did terrible her freshman year, worked hard, did well on her standardized tests, and still got in to University of Wisconsin. Granted, it’s not an Ivy, but it’s a good school. She’ll be fine and she’ll get into somewhere that’s right for her.
I think a break, and a little pampering is in order! Trip to mall or nail salon? Just take her mind off it:)
My D had a major meltdown after hitting submit on 5 applications this weekend. I don’t understand because it seems like that would relieve some pressure. She “gets over it” sooner if we are not in the same room, so that’s what happened. Since then, a funny link texted to her, and funny observation texted back, now a request for a trip to the Gap for a 50% off sale tonight. She likes to shop with me in hopes that if she pulls out her wallet really, really slowly, I might feel compelled to pull mine out instead.
So, it’s business as usually until the next freak out – her’s or mine – they are interchangeable these days. Margaritas at my house for all the CC parents of 2016 graduates on May 1st!
Cue the meltdown!! We just had one…must be contageous!
Does she have any rolling admit schools? When she gets her first acceptance, your life will return to normal.
Our antidote was ice cream. And – it likely won’t be the last one. D2’s biggest freak out came over clothing about 2 weeks before she left for school.
Our school nurse told us several years ago that no one would believe how many meltdowns she saw with seniors. It may focus on something specific, like C’s in freshman year, but it really is the big picture underneath it all too including big changes ahead, leaving home and friends, a major life transition- for those who are not commuting especially.
And once the applications are actually in, it is real!
Last year, the most stressful time was the moment before pressing the Submit button on my daughter’s first CA application. The second most stressful time was after she submitted all her applications because everything was out of her hands. Before, she could “edit” a short essay or question, talk to an Admissions office, something. After, all she could do was wait (and her homework). The stress disappeared when she got her second acceptance because she had choices. It came back when she had to choose a college in the spring but we had a few months of bliss.)
My D has already been accepted to two good options that have rolling admissions. She keeps toying with the idea of deciding between those two and dropping the rest to just end the process, but she hasn’t brought herself to do it yet. Even though she has two acceptances, she says she is still stressed out because everyone else is stressed out. School last week was apparently one big bundle of nerves.
DD has one rolling admissions school on her list and her application to that school is done, but she is too stressed to actually push the submit button.
That’s when you have to sit next to her. If she hesitates, you push the submit button or have her favorite dessert ready to give her the moment she pushes the button. Money, gift cards also work as bribes. But the key is sitting next to her and maybe holding her hand (if only to guide it not so gently to the button)
When my D was going through similar stress, I sat her down and asked her what is the worst that can happen. We then listed the colleges she will get in for sure. Once she realized she has more than one safety her stress levels clearly went down. I reiterated that she would not be disappointing us no matter which college she goes to and cited so many people we know that went to not known schools and doing extremely well career-wise. Mentioning her non-academic achievements and saying how proud we are of her definitely helped too. Its an ongoing process and as a parent we just have to be there providing support and unconditional love. Good luck
The pressure on some kids is terrible. Just keep reminding her that there are tons of amazing colleges and universities out there, that she applied wisely (and already took those C’s into account), and that they would all be lucky to have her as a student. Then break out the ice cream!
To put a positive spin on this, it means she trusts you and confides her worst fears in you. Congrats on an excellent job of parenting! (Yes, I realize there are other ways you’d prefer that she express her appreciation.) I’m sure she holds it together all day long at school where people talk and talk and talk about schools, so the meltdown at home is not terribly surprising. Prepare yourself next for the famous ‘fouling of the nest’ where she becomes impossible to live with in anticipation of having to leave home.
Senior year is tough for everyone but the good news is that it’s a predictable step on the path to regaining your S or D as the mature, responsible and loving adult that they will eventually become. Too bad kids don’t come with a fast forward button.
She is much better today. I have instituted a moratorium on college discussion until next week, and that seems to have calmed her down.