My daughter had a crying fit last night because she has 3 Cs on her transcript from 9th grade. In her mind, of course that means she will never get into any college. Where does all this pressure come from? Honestly, she has some nice safeties on her list. It came out of nowhere. I know that some Cs freshman year will keep her out of the Ivies, but that’s not the level of schools she’s applying to anyway. I’m at a loss what to do.
It’s just the pressure/stress. Perhaps a one week moratorium on all things college? I think a lot of kids are wound pretty tight right now…
3 Cs has a consequence, and she knows that it is not “you’ll never get into college”, so I would say it is the stress.
Not much you can do. Many schools don’t even look at Freshman year grades and I think all of them (even the Ivies!) will look favorably on rising grades. She should apply to some schools where her overall GPA is good enough and some where her 10-12 GPA is good enough. I also highy recommend applying to a rolling admissions school, or EA somewhere. It really is a lot less stressful if you have one acceptance in the bag, even if it isn’t your first choice.
Hang in there! My D is a junior and had a similar meltdown last week about her SAT scores not being high enough to “get in anywhere good!!!” I did my best to calm her down, but it didn’t have much of an effect in the moment. She took a shower and went to bed, and seemed back to herself the next day.
My husband and I have consistently sent her the message that there are plenty of great schools out there where she can be happy and successful, and to try not to stress about it, but it’s definitely a big point of stress for her.
Good luck to you and your daughter!
The uncertainty is very stressful.
Do encourage her to get plenty of exercise, sleep, healthy food.
Part of it may be increasing level of competition, whether real or perceived which makes “mistakes” like having 3 Cs “less forgivable” for college admissions than in the recent past.
I’ll admit to despairingly “no college will accept me” during my junior year once I found out the implications of starting my HS career hitting the academic wall with a slew of Ds and Fs with a few Bs and Cs being the highlight of my 9th/early 10th grade transcript.
Fortunately, an upward GPA trend, being able to write decent admissions essays, and somehow managing to change perceptions of enough teachers to wrangle at least 3 LORs facilitated my admission into what was for me a high-reach LAC with a near-full ride scholarship/FA package to boot.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and she will be accepted somewhere. Also, if she finds her first college to not be optimal in terms of academic rigor and fit, she has the option to transfer up as several HS classmates did.
There is nothing you can do to change the past grades, and worrying will do you no good. At this point, concentrate on the safeties and don’t push the reaches.
This is great advice: “My husband and I have consistently sent her the message that there are plenty of great schools out there where she can be happy and successful, and to try not to stress about it…”
Of course, easier said than done. Not everyone is focused on the 50 years in the future when they’re 14 year old 9th graders. If your D has worked hard and improved her grades, she has more choices than she thinks she does. And, as others have said, some colleges don’t even look at freshman grades.
D has a friend who moved into her HS as a junior with a 1.9 average. Very bright girl with a rough past who wanted to make a change. She finished senior year with a “high C” and decent test scores. She’s now at a well-respected small LAC with very generous merit aid (and some financial aid) because the total package showed that she has great potential-even with her low GPA. There really is a place for all kids out there. Good luck to your D.
Well, our son has two D’s on his transcript and probably won’t ever care unless it ends up keeping him out of his top choice college (his chances are decent that he’ll get a big enough scholarship with his overall GPA and SAT scores, but he’s no shoo-in). Probably caring too much or too little should be avoided when possible.
Well if it’s not coming from you then it’s probably coming from her school or class mates. Nowadays there is a lot of talk about grades and which schools kids are getting accepted at. Not so much years ago. I have to wonder has there been an assembly or class talk at your school for seniors recently?
Yes, MichiganGeorgia, She met with her college counselor at school and they went over her transcript. Btw, she approved DD’s list and told her she will do fine. Didn’t matter. We still got a freak out.
^^ I agree. Something triggered that meltdown. Did she have a huge project due? Is she overwhelmed with classwork? Does she not like her college list? Or worse, did she compare lists with someone at school?
Refrain from talking about colleges for a bit (if you are anything like me and focused on it during D’s senior year). If she brings it up, you can help her look at the overall picture - yes, she has 3 Cs but her GPA is on an upward trend, see how her GPA is right in the mix of the range, and so on. I believe D had at least 3 C’s on her transcript during her first two years in high school - she got into all her colleges with merit money. So, it is very possible to get into college with an imperfect transcript.
One SIL suggests baking to help calm the nerves. She would have her daughters bake cookies (and eat them) when they were stressed.
I agree with applying to a school with a rolling admissions where an acceptance is likely to take the pressure off.
I like the baking idea - my SIL suggested the same thing to us when S was showing signs of stress about college, as it helped him focus on something else. But instead of eating them ourselves, the suggestion was that we bake them for the senior center, or the soup kitchen.
My D and her friends call it “stress cooking.”
Bowling! She can go with friends if they’re up for it (they’re probably stressed, too) or you take her, maybe with a sibling. Of course some people are serious bowlers; but if it’s just casual activity, the funny shoes alone are enough to change your mood.
Teenage girls have freakouts and meltdowns; it’s how they deal with stress. There isn’t much you can do beyond being loving and supportive and telling her you think she’s great, you love her, and you’ve got her back.
Then quietly have your own freakout over her freakout where she can’t see or hear you ;).
^^^ LOL, yes!
Admission officers reviewing her application will see that she improved her grades and that shows that she matures and got serious about going to college. She can even try to explain her poor grades she received early on somewhere in the application. I have even heard that colleges like to see an improvement over no improvement.
Personally as another senior, I am prone to anxiety attacks at night, when my mind goes over the what ifs, what ifs, what ifs. I find that reading fiction for an hour or so calms me down. Dunno if your child is the reading type.