<p>My older daughter isn’t coming back for Thanksgiving- doesn’t want the hassle of travel from Portland.
Which I can empathize with her on, but if I go to my brothers for the holiday, all I will hear about is that my niece was happy to come back from upstate NY for two days.
My younger daughter also has to * work* on Thanksgiving & since I still have two weeks or so till the end of the qtr to finish up- I admit- I am leaning more toward pizza and beer( pizza for everyone else- beer for me) than throwing a big shindig.</p>
<p>Hopefully I will get it together before the winter holidays- but anyone else happy to go to bed and wake up when it is spring?</p>
<p>the childhood is over part- stems from my mother moving to a facility where she doesn’t have to cook this week- not that she ever did- but now instead of a two bedroom on main street , it is gonna be a studio- where she just has room for a ( new) flat screen.</p>
<p>EK4 - (hug) it will be okay. The hardest part for me realizing my son is ‘grown up’ is that I must have aged the same 19 years that he has lived. </p>
<p>It’s not what you eat or who you eat it with, Thanksgiving is in your heart and I’m sure your daughters are thankful for a great mom, you.</p>
<p>I feel your pain emeraldkitty,
I won’t be seeing my two college girls either for Thanksgiving. They are with their father and all of their aunts, uncles and cousins , which they look forward to.
It will just be my husband , youngest daughter and I. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday so I am sad too:(</p>
<p>I have no kids coming home for Thanksgiving either. It’s the first time that either of mine hasn’t come home, but one is at graduate school on the opposite side of the country now, and the other had some special (and entirely justified) reasons for needing to stay on her campus over Thanksgiving break.</p>
<p>But I think when you really grow up is when the last family member in the generation older than you dies, and suddenly your generation is the oldest one. That happened for me four years ago. I have felt rather ancient ever since.</p>
<p>i am continually struggling with all the changes that ‘growing up’ brings my way. </p>
<p>first, my kids were off to school–now they’re off for the rest of their lives…it’s harder sometimes than having them at school…</p>
<p>well, my youngest is still in school, but he is going to study abroad, then complete an internship…no more summers at home from what i can see. </p>
<p>my mother is the last one of her generation- ( both my parents were essentially only children- our father died 30 yrs ago, grandparents about 15- my H’s parents are still alive but we dont see them- they are mean and cranky and have gotten worse with age) and I am the oldest of the next- my younger D is still at home though- she just has to work at her fred meyer job - plus the poor thing has to work black friday at Macys.</p>
<p>However- she did run into a former teacher at FM, and she is going to start volunteering there- which I think will be fun for her. I would have suggested it, but then it would have gone on her " NOT to do" list
;)</p>
<p>however my kids have never gotten a Thanksgiving like I used to have, at my great-aunts- with two kinds of stuffing, 4 kinds of pies- spode china with dragons, and lots of stories about “back home”.
( they came from Missouri & missed it)
I did talk to older D last night though- her whole house is ill ( she has strep throat) so it is good that she can take a few days to rest instead of bringing her germs up here</p>
<p>Try and remember that Thanksgiving is an arbitrary date that was set by a president. You can pick your own day when you are all together and give thanks complete with a turkey and all the extras. We always have Thanksgiving the weekend before as we have family members that work on the particular day. It doesn’t matter. When we are all together, that is when we are thankful. One year, just our nuclear family was together, so we went to a hotel with a water park and had a blast. Kids still talk about it.
Christmas is a roaming holiday for us too with family scattered all over the place. My kids grew up with three different Christmases and loved it. This year will probably be odd as I lost both my parents and my one daughter doesn’t want to go out of state to see the others because her fiance just moved to town and has no vacation days. She is very torn as she dearly loves her grandparents. So we shall see what happens. Life is full of changes.</p>
<p>Marian that’s so true. My father was 86 when his last surviving aunt (and godmother) passed away at 96. He always felt like a kid when he went to visit her. You could tell that for the first time in his life he actually felt old.</p>
<p>*** Try and remember that Thanksgiving is an arbitrary date that was set by a president. You can pick your own day when you are all together and give thanks complete with a turkey and all the extras. ***</p>
<p>Our son won’t be home for Thanksgiving (it’s just too far to fly for 2 days at home) so that’s what we’re doing. A few of us are getting together tomorrow at my sister’s for a vegetarian pseudo Thanksgiving. Then on December 14th we’ll have a “real” Thanksgiving when our son is home. No, it won’t be a Norman Rockwell-ish day (it never has been), but it’ll be a nice mix of friends and family, and I’m sure a rag-tag bunch of his friends who will be home for the winter break. I’ve given up on a traditional Thanksgiving and just take whatever I can get and roll with it :)</p>
<p>Oh and EK, I totally get the moving your mom thing. We’re in the process of finding a new place for my mom as well (and incidentally, she lives on Main Street). She doesn’t want to cook any more, and while I give her single servings of food all the time for her freezer, it’s not enough. The only thing that’s holding her back is her fierce independence, she doesn’t want anyone keeping track of her comings and goings. Making this move (and trying to sell her condo in this market) is going to be a huge step, so I can empathize with what your family has gone through.</p>
<p>This will be strange. Only child is studying overseas. We will have Thanksgiving dinner at the home of people we barely know. It is very kind of them to include us, and I am sure it will be lovely. But…</p>
<p>" We will have Thanksgiving dinner at the home of people we barely know. It is very kind of them to include us, and I am sure it will be lovely. But…"</p>
<p>I have done this in the past and haven’t enjoyed it. I have no problem with people coming to my house , but I don’t care to go to other’s homes. We had a few odd Thanksgivings…once at Disney…it was fun and we did the big dinner the very next day so it didn’t seem all that strange. Once, my husband and I went to Europe and had Italian food in Germany…this was a year when my older girls were with their father.</p>
<p>Our S is in LA & has spent the past 2 Thanksgivings with my best friend there. This year, he’ll spend it with his new GF. We will still be spending it with my extended family. I know it did make my dad & his sister feel “old” when their uncle died at age 100+ but I think he still mostly feels fine because he hangs out with folks 20-30 years younger than him for the most part (those his age have too many aches & pains limiting what they do & are interested in).
I will miss my D when she heads off in January–she’ll be the last one to “leave the nest.” I think I’l have a tougher time if we’re apart for Christmas–that has never happened to date. Thanksgiving isn’t nearly as big a deal around here as Christmas!</p>
<p>Hugs to you, EK. Quite honestly, after all the cooking and baking I’ve already done in preparation for tomorrow, I wish we were doing pizza and beer … that sounds pretty good right now. DD (our one and only) is studying in France for the semester, so she won’t be home until December 23rd. My husband’s family is coming over to watch the game (GO TITANS!) and then we’ll do video conferencing with DD and then have Thanksgiving dinner. DD and her American friends are putting together a Thanksgiving feast of their own, but she said the upcoming holidays and decorations are making her homesick. I’m sorry that things are so different for you this year. I hope you and your family that are together tomorrow have a lovely day!</p>
<p>Hugs from NY to you, Emerald. Enjoy the day with hubby. I’d love to do that. Instead, we are leaving at 4AM with car packed tonight to get to my MIL. She has a broken wrist as well as being in a wheelchair, so I will wrestle the bird and get it in the oven. I’ll then get a start on the rest of the fixings. Hopefully, I’ll have an hour or so to sleep. Everyone else will sleep en route and as soon as they get there–it’s a 5 hour trip. I ordered the food from the grocery store today and had it delivered to MIL’s house so I’ll be sure that we have everything.<br>
Two of our boys are not joining us this year. One at my brother’s, the other at his own place; he could not make the trip because of Black Friday and the weekend when all hands have to be on board at work. S2 came in late last night and spent a good part of today cavorting with friends. Another son and H were gone all day as it was a regular work/school day for them. We’ll return very late Saturday night because I want to miss the traffic.</p>
<p>oh I actually am not as despondent as the title sounds- I really don’t like organized things anyway. But thanks for the thought- D#1 will be coming up from Portland next weekend to have Thanksgiving- it won’t be as hectic for her traveling, I guess.</p>
<p>Along time ago we started going to the zoo, for their Thanksgiving buffet, when D#2 was young.
I didn’t want to be in charge of a huge dinner when at that time- it was a miracle if I got to take a shower & use the bathroom by myself.
We had tried family dinners- but it was overwhelming to her- and relatives thought I should just " make" her behave.
( she has sensory issues)
We tried going to a small restaurant- but I worried for their carpet and china the whole time.
So we settled on the zoo, they not only have a cement floor ;), but there was a raptor show & when older D had to run off to work at the pony barn, we could work our way back over there.
Still, it is really pricey for a buffet & it looks like that we will be going up to my brothers for dinner- if D#2 gets off work early enough.</p>
<p>( I just googled street view his house- boy he wasn’t kidding when he said he needed help landscaping!!!)</p>
<p>My D has a pile of books for her 5th grade cousin that she is eager to share & I am looking forward to meeting my brothers neighbors- they are from India & as she is planning on going there in a few months, I am a little nervous- especially after recent events. :(</p>
<p>Plus traffic to MillCreek couldn’t possibly be as bad as when we drove down to Portland last year- I think it took us 7 hours.</p>
<p>I will be having my whole family here…my three kids, the youngest one has two friends (both are young) who want to share Thanksgiving with their families and then come here for dinner…and we are having my husband’s family. Sounds Norman Rockwell? Well…don’t get excited. My husband’s family, with whom we have not “celebrated” Thanksgiving in 27 years (nor did we see them) are bigots.</p>
<p>Yep, they hate everyone who isn’t rich, Episcopalian and white. (First and last time I’ll every say this but…our house is nicer…we have more money…and our kids wanted to be here…nyah nyah!). The last time we got together my sister in law (I use that term facetiously) refused to sit at the table with Jews and ate in the den. My mother in law supported her right to do so. They called me soon to be child a grandkike. They refer to their son’s girlfriend as “that…(fill in the race or background) girl.”</p>
<p>So…to all of you who are gathered around a table where you are loved and wanted, or are despairing of a child far away, know that they you are wanted at that table and that your child would like to be there…I would, to quote Mona Simpson, would rather be Anywhere But Here.</p>
<p>I few years ago I reconnected with a part of my family I hadn’t seen in 28 years. Partially because of my own doings and later because my mom had a fight with her sister-in-law over some jewelry. Needless to say, the past was forgotten and forgiven. It was so nice to see my aunt and cousins who now had children older than I was when I last saw my cousins. </p>
<p>My son, my brother and his partner are headed down from NYC and we will all be together with extended family. My parents are on a month long vacation.</p>
<p>Wow , ellebud…your in-laws sound like a lot of fun to have for dinner !
If there was a prize to be given here you would win the gold , hands down !
I don’t feel so bad for being apart from most of my family today after reading that. You must have amazing patience.
My nephew’s wife is the one in our family who usually makes an ass of herself with rude and often times loud and offensive comments.</p>