My common app personal statement packs cohesion. Read it and offer advice?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi everyone,</p>

<p>I am applying to Cornell for spring transfer and the deadline is 10/1. I feel like my personal statement lacks a clear direction and cohesion. Would anybody be willing to read it and offer me some feedback?</p>

<p>Thanks,</p>

<p>Trevor</p>

2

<p>Bump… 70 views and nobody is willing to read it?</p>

3

<p>I 'll read it. PM it to me. I’ll try to help you.</p>

4

<p>i’ll read it and try to help</p>

5

<p>Hey guys,</p>

<p>Thank you very much for offering to help, but it was due 10/1 so I went ahead and submitted it on the 29th.</p>