<p>Situation: my cousin who lives in a NYC suburb wants to dorm at NYC school. He is middle middle-class(if that makes sense to you) and really wants to dorm. For him staying in the dorm is crucial, especially for matters of girls and the whole college experience.</p>
<p>However, his parents basically said that dorming is too expensive and there is no way they would pay for it. They did however say if he raised the money for it himself, he could dorm there if he wanted. </p>
<p>Now the hard part: Room+Board at the college is 12k, and he has to raise it himself. He has already raised around 2.8k towards his room+board dreams. Any ideas on how he could raise more money(legally, of course…) to afford Room and Board at this college? </p>
<p>Parents, also take your time to give your opinion of the ethics behind his parents refusing to pay room and board for him… I personally think it’s terrible. They could afford it if they tried hard enough, as they waste tons of money on unnecessary stuff.</p>
<p>I would say no about cousin enjoying unnecessary things. The parents talk about how they’re just middle class but bought $2,000 plasma TV, $1000 to build up one hallway, $800 to build up another. All this in last 5 months or so.</p>
<p>I will suggest the split on 6k each…but how can he raise that extra money?</p>
<p>I see the issue is really about Room costs. Those are what would be additional. Board is the cost of food. He’ll eat at home as well. Could the cousin get parents to agree to pay the Board and split the cost of the room?</p>
<p>mominva his parents do not care about the reasons behind the expenses. They only care that in the end they will have to pay so much money. At the least, they may do the 6/6 split. But that would still be very optimistic. So do you have any ideas about how a such a young guy could raise so much money?</p>
get your cousin to do a calculcation of the costs involved in commuting from home everyday; do the same about food. The young man’s parents should deduct that amount from the $12k.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Can your cousin get work? He might be able to wait on tables in a nearby restaurant, for instance and get some good money. </p></li>
<li><p>Can he get a loan for the remainder?</p></li>
</ol>
<p>My son makes $25/hour computer programming, but you need to have the skills. Tutoring pays well if someone is willing to pay him. Creating his own business might work too - someone mentioned a pooper scooper business started by some college kids. I know dog walkers who make a living.</p>
<p>mathmom best suggestions yet. I will definitely recommend the dog walking business, but he lacks the reliable transportation for the dog pooper scooper business.</p>
<p>The ethics of the situation are simple. Your cousin has no right to spend his parents’ money. He has no right to demand to live in a dorm. And it is irrelevant whether they can “afford” it by your or his calculations. They have worked all their lives for what they have and they are entitled to spend it as they choose.</p>
<p>It makes perfect sense that a student who lives within commuting distance live at home if it’s on someone else’s nickel. I think his parents are being quite reasonable in allowing him to live on campus if he foots the bill.</p>
<p>I happen to agree with you and your cousin that living on campus is a valuable part of the college experience. However, when going to a school within commuting distance, the on-campus living is a luxury good, just like a plasma TV is. The parents make their own decisions about what luxuries they want to fund. The fact that you and I think it’s valuable and that your cousin really wants it “for matters of girls” etc. does not make it a more righteous luxury than a plasma TV.</p>
<p>Okay, with that out of the way. Here are a couple of ideas:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>He could go to his parents, in a very adult way asking maybe for a “meeting” with them; outline that he agrees it’s a luxury and make his proposal based on a number of the in addition to the ones already suggested.</p></li>
<li><p>Does your cousin have access to a car? He could offer to give that up and trade the savings on insurance (depends on the policy and distance of the school from home, but can be a goodly amount), gas etc. for a parental contribution toward room.</p></li>
<li><p>He could ask for them to lend some or all of the money for the first year and agree to pay them back from summer earnings, term-time earnings (he’ll save a fair amount of time on commuting that could go to a part-time job) and/or after graduation.</p></li>
<li><p>He can take student loans if that isn’t already part of the plan for financing his education.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I agree that the time saved in commuting could go towards a part-time job.</p>
<p>Also, after first year, he could investigate possibility of working as an RA in exchange for free room & board.</p>
<p>Another thing to think about: need-based financial aid is cost of attendance (COA) - EFC. </p>
<p>Colleges are required to reduce their calculation of COA for a student who lives at home with family vs. living in the dorm. So–if he’s eligible for any need-based aid at all, the savings from living at home could disappear because of the change in computed COA.</p>
<p>He should talk to the financial aid officer about how the “bottom line” of out-of-pocket money would change depending on whether he lives at home or in the dorm.</p>
<p>“For him staying in the dorm is crucial, especially for matters of girls and the whole college experience.”</p>
<p>Since your cousin lives in NYC and wants to dorm in NYC for the above reasons, I am assuming that he wants to dorm in order to be able to conveniently have sex and party while living in a city that he loves.</p>
<p>If what he was looking for was simply the chance to live independently away from home, he’d probably be applying to colleges that are not in commuting distance, so he’d have to dorm.</p>
<p>Anyway, given what appear to be his priorities, I side with his parents. If your cousin wants to dorm within commuting distance of home, I suggest that he take out loans to do so. He also can work jobs – starting now.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, what his parents do with their money is their business. They, after all, earned the $. If they want plasma TVs, they can buy them with THEIR money.</p>
<p>He doesn’t have the $$ this year to dorm it. He should work a job his freshman year, work during the summer, take out loans, see if he can finagle some money from his parents. Maybe he can come up with $12K for next year.</p>
<p>I’m guessing that he won’t want to go through all of that effort. Best to stay at home.</p>
<p>To put my previous answer in context: More than likely my S, who is taking a gap year living at home (and paying rent) and being an Americorps volunteer fulltime (which gives him a monthly living stipend), will go to college next year in our home town. He would prefer to stay in a dorm, and my husband and I have told him that he can – if he pays for it. Indeed, he can go to college next year – if he funds it.</p>
<p>We probably sound like mean parents. That’s because you aren’t aware of the rest of the story.</p>
<p>S is extremely bright – SATs 99th percentile. However, due to laziness, he has never reached his academic potential. Indeed, he almost didn’t graduate from h.s. because of a backlog of papers that he did not turn in until the day final senior grades were due, about 10 days before graduation. </p>
<p>Due to S’s scores, rigorous curriculum (his choice), and URM status, S was highly recruited by various excellent colleges, and would have had a great chance at excellent merit aid – if he had had the grades and the motivation to apply for merit aid, which he did not. Indeed, S didn’t even get it together to apply to colleges despite his planning to eventually enter a field (of his choice) that requires a higher education.</p>
<p>Anyway, my husband and I have told S that he can live at home for free while he’s in college fulltime, but he will have to completely fund his first year and get decent grades for us to be willing to help out with the rest of his college career. We are not going to invest our hard earned money into S’s education if S isn’t willing to work to get the decent grades that he is very capable of.</p>
<p>S also is very careful with spending his own money. I’ll be surprised if he spends his money for college and then gets low grades due to lack of effort.</p>
<p>Your cousin might consider asking his parents to loan him the cost of room and board (if they truly can afford the $) and he would made a committment to repay the loan thru thru summer work, scholarships or other income. Our situation is different, but works out essentially the same. Our D is paying for her room and board…</p>
<p>D wanted to go to school on the east coast - to a small private LAC. We knew we would never qualify for financial aid but have managed to save and plan, (with the help of a grandfather who left money for college) so that we could make it happen. However, both H and I grew up in families that required us to pay our own way thru school, buy our own cars, etc. We believe that our D should “own” part of her education and contribute toward it - even though we could pay 100%. So, we agreed to fund tuition and books, plus a small monthly allowance, if D pays $10,000 a year toward her own education (that is approx 1/4 the total cost and is almost exactly the cost of her room and board). Now that may seem huge, but she had choices including UCLA, Berkeley and several other private schools that offered her almost full ride merit-based scholarships. She chose a school that does not give merit awards. She has rec’d a small National Merit award, another small merit based scholarship and 2 or 3 awards for her singing that amount to approx half her room and board. The balance, about $5,000, she will take from her savings, earn with summer work, tutoring or other part time work during school and we are loaning her the rest. H set up a spread sheet and calculated a low interest loan which she may pay back when she graduates. In the end, we may pay the interest, but she will pay back the principle. She has signed a contract.</p>
<p>I just re-read the OP comment about why his cousin wants to dorm at a local school and I must say that I totally agree with Northstarmom in this case. He needs to get a job or take a loan if he truly wants to dorm for the girls and “college experience” (read: party scene). A whole different breed than our D</p>