That’s ALL so true @monkey13 ! I think parental support is a big part of this. And I don’t just mean financial support through the admissions process and college years, but that truly matters a lot too. The emotional support of their endeavors is very beneficial. And then there is the time and effort to help them with the admissions process and audition trips, etc. And yes, it continues into the college years. Then, hopefully, once they graduate, the financial support ends (well, at least that is my personal mantra), and while they are more independent, they still need that emotional support as young adults. These kids are lucky to have parents like the ones who participate on this forum. Not all kids have that. Some have parents who don’t support a college theater major and/or parents who are sorta hands-off in this process. So all of you here who are doing what you are doing will greatly be helping your kids in this process, even more than money.
On the money front and with regard to audition trip expenses, one thing that saves some people money is to mostly do auditions at Unifieds. We didn’t do any Unifieds, but one reason these exist is to try to cut down on trips and expenses for applicants. So, that is one way to plan it when audition trip money is tight.
I could not afford any of these expenses so my daughter had only one on campus audition. We visited the schools she was admitted to after her acceptances. We are on the west coast and flying all over was not an option for us. Unifieds was our only choice. Things all work out no matter the path you take. 
@bisouu, the only thing better on the pocket than living on the east coast, or Ohio, or somewhere else close to clusters of some of these schools is living right near a unifides location. It is by far the biggest bang for the buck and a great way to go. Some don’t have that option and can’t afford or won’t afford to buy their way out of it through extensive travel. It means limiting their audition options to whatever handful of schools they can reasonably get to which in turn likely means they do not have a list of 12 - 20 audition schools out of financial necessity or in other cases because it didn’t dawn on them they might need to.
All of my D’s schools were driveable … if you consider 10 hours driveable. 
That was most likely the longest - northern Indiana to North Carolina. And we’re less than an hour away from Chgo Unifieds.
So tip #1: Take dance classes.
Tip #2: Live in the midwest near Chgo.
Easy peasy.
Seriously though, I have totally blocked out how much $$ we spent in application fees, hotels, fuel in my gas guzzling Ford Expedition … I can’t even go there.
I’m also blocking out the amount in tuition we pay each year for two college students. X_X
I like wine.
^i also consciously stopped adding it up!
I have a similar issue to OP, though nothing to do with performance, but the obsession bit. I’m just riding it out. So many times I thought he’d get a big disappointment, he pulled off what I thought he wouldn’t. So maybe he will again. Or maybe his first big disappointment will be this…either way, I’m letting go!
We CC people are probably a bit below average in the “letting go” department.
I think college admissions is pretty much the first time a really big decision about our kids is out of our hands (as parents) and is sorta made by someone else (or at least the options are limited/offered by someone else). It’s hard to get used to as a parent, but from that point forward, things change!!
Piece of random trivia. If you had the time and inclination to drive to auditions and were willing to drive 4,000 miles what would that mean in the context of the list of MT schools at the top of this forum?
East journey starting in Boston but any point along the way the result is the same since it is a circle: 36 schools on the list (plus easy access to two more if are inclined).
BoCo, Emerson, Syracuse, Ithaca, Baldwin Wallace, Ohio Northern, U Michigan, Western Michigan, Northwestern, Roosevelt U, Illinois Weslyan, Milikin, Webster, Indiana U, Ball State, CCM, Wright State, Otterbein, CMU, PPU, Penn State, Shenandoah U., James Madison, Elon University, Coastal Carolina, Catholic U, American U, Temple, U Arts, Rider University, NYU, Pace, Marymount Manhattan, Wagner, Montclair, Hartt. (Quick jump offs for Molloy/Cap21, Muhlenberg if you’d like to include them as well but that will put you a bit over 4,000 miles)
West Journey starting in LA: 11 schools plus you’ll be passing by 2 more that have programs and are discussed her but are not on the list at the top of the forum.
UCLA, USC, UC Irvine and Cal State Fullerton, U of Arizona, TSU, Texas Christian U, OCU, U of OK, Nebraska Weslyan, (U Colorado Boulder), U of Northern Colorado and (U of Utah).
And then there are those of us out west that need to drive 830+ miles just to join the loop at the closest point and then 830+ more back. That’s more than driving back and forth from NYC to Chicago.
Yeah, you guys near unifides anywhere or in the Midwest, Northeast or mid Atlantic have it made in the shade.
I guess I suck as a parent because I discouraged my MT kiddo from applying to anywhere that required an expensive trip to audition. My thoughts at the time were that the cost of the trip vs. the minuscule chances of getting in didn’t make it worth it. Of course we had the East Coast advantage. And my kid did not want to go to a faraway school so it wasn’t a big issue, though she did pause when she realized that UMich wasn’t at NYC Unifieds. A little soul-searching on her part and it was scratched from the list. This phenomenon continues beyond college auditions, btw. A good unified audition may be worth some travel, but there are people that travel on their own dime including airfare and hotels to stand in line with the masses to audition at one theater. Yeah, it’s worth it if you are one of the lucky few. But add it to the list of crazy things to think about going into this field.
Knowing that I would eventually have a kid who loved MT, I got myself born in Ohio (parents moved there from nearby state), went off to college and grad school, married a guy from another nearby state and had him move to Ohio. Had three boys - one of whom loves MT. Family made executive decision to make all MT schools within driving distance (we wanted to be able to go see shows, too). STILL spent lots of money on auditions, app fees, visits, etc. S is happily ensconced in MT program in Ohio. Why doesn’t everyone plan it this way?
@mom4bwayboy - I love it I was born in Colorado- but moved to Ohio when I was 3, giving up scenery for proximity to BFA program auditions.
There were no BFA in MT programs in VT, where my kid grew up. :((
We did a 5 week road trip during auditions that included 3 on campus auditions, Moonifieds, and Thanksgiving with some family. It was almost 5000 miles of travel in the car. We flew to all of the others. I don’t mind drives of 15 hours or less. Those are easy to do in one day. We flew to the Elon audition, but left after the audition to drive overnight to get to a masterclass first thing the next morning. The one-way rental car was actually more expensive than flying, but was the only way to get there in time.
It was a crazy year, but we enjoyed every minute of it. Well, maybe not the blizzards…
@Calliene no you didn’t suck. You actually had the luxury of drawing that line in the sand. If you lived where I live, you may have been forced into a different conclusion or have forced a different conclusion by virtue of means or willingness which would have rendered you a far more suckier parent.
@mom4bwayboy, you were brilliant from birth and it continues today. Same for @toowonderful.
atta girl @Dusing2, a true pioneer.
Just so you all know, though the east kicks butt over the west in terms of number of schools that can be hit in 4,000 miles by a factor of 3+, we can travel those 4,000 miles faster. Long stretches of cactuses and rest stops with “beware of rattlesnakes signs leading towards the facilities.” You know you are jealous.
Yeah, @halflokum - especially when those dang 17-year cicadas show up again in a few years.
@SoozieVT, love to cry with you but you were about 150 miles from joining my imaginary 4,000 mile East loop MT gravy train to 36 BFA/BA/BM MT programs and 200 miles from MT-o-rama in Boston both of which can be accessed by car for about $10 in gas. Remember when I said 830+ miles to join my imaginary West gravy train to um… 11 schools? Don’t cry for me Argentina 
A five week road trip seeing the country with one of my kids sounds heavenly - with or without college auditions! Major jelly, @Dusing2. Definitely a bucket list item. And yeah @halflokum I would have probably been less suckie if I lived where you live. 8-} You west coasters deserve a medal.
Born and reared in Ann Arbor and moved to Maine…Ooops
Actually- when we were going through all of this I was grateful for our location more than one time. When it was decision time I remember struggling with the idea of her being “so far” away - 8 hours from home (came to you for help on that one @halflokum - one of the 1st of MANY). But (through happenstance) most of D’s roommates have been from MUCH farther the last 2 years (San Fran and Vancouver last year, Hawaii and Boise this year) and I have seen 1st hand the complications of trying to get your kid to college on the other side of the country. Those of you who are doing it rock - I bow to you! ^:)^