<p>The first time I took the SAT I got an 1810. However, this is is low for the school I want to go to and one section is way lower than the other 2, so I want to raise that score… So I asked my dad if I could retake it and he told me no, that I would look “afraid and unsure of myself” to the admissions committee because I wanted to take it again. After a heated text argument (my parents are divorced, I live with mom), he told me how stupid my logic was and basically disowned me and says I don’t trust him and his advice enough, so why should he even bother helping me…
I just want to go to a state school, and I showed him an email saying that they recommended taking the SAT twice, and he said I completely misread it.
If it wasn’t for my Christian beliefs, I would defy him and retake it (I believe you should honor thy mother and father), but I’m conflicted.
He says he’s worked for admissions committees and he knows better than my counselors, and he’s so hard headed that talking to him won’t change his mind. Am I wrong? I think taking it again would make me look motivated, and he says they don’t know me, They’ll assume and unsure and afraid of my abilities. My scores are 520 670 620, I think based off of my first scores they’ll see why I retook it (to raise the 520) What do I do? It’s funny because typically it’s reversed (parents pressure kids to retake), and I’m really upset.
Also, this probably sounds stupid, but I cried for an hour…
And another thing, my dad says if my mom calls him with info about the fight, he won’t talk to me until Christmas. Thanks.</p>
<p>It is in the self-interest of colleges to accept “photoshopped” scores, because it helps them to game their USNWR ranking by improving their perceived selectivity when the students they admit have higher scores.</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s changing his mind. he still won’t talk to me. I’m just hoping he’ll realize superscoring is a thing and it isn’t bad to take it twice because there’s no way I can convince him.</p>
<p>I completely understand respecting your parents, but your dad trying to keep this a secret from your mom sounds kind of alarming to me. You’re meant to respect both your parents. Both parents care about you and want to know about your life and struggles you’re going through so that they can help you in the best way possible. Your dad shouldn’t ask you to keep secrets from your mom. He doesn’t have that right.
Were you asking both your mom and dad for permission? If you already asked your mom, won’t she figure out that your dad said no when you don’t retake it?</p>
<p>Here is my advice. There is no way you’re going to convince your dad, not at this point. If he does become open to the possibility of retaking being a good thing, it will be because he decided to become open. You have absolutely no control over that, and there’s no point in holding your breath for it, particularly when it’s so unlikely. (There are ways to convince a stubborn person of your POV, but it takes cleverness, good timing, a certain maturity, many years of knowing the individual and how they think. But that’s not knowledge expected of an HSer, and your dad is already in the defensive about this.)
If you retake, you’ll have to talk to your mom. I’m guessing that you’ll need the money from somewhere, and even if you don’t, it shouldn’t be something hidden from her. She should also know that your dad didn’t want you to retake. You don’t want your parents to feel lied to or tricked.
Alternatively, you can choose to not retake at all, but this can turn more into a way of running away from the problem rather then solving it. ONLY choose this option if you’re 100% completely okay with it (which it sounds like you really aren’t). You don’t want resentment to build up inside of you for your dad, and if you’re not completely okay with this choice and take it anyways, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. </p>
<p>So the first step? Talk to your mom and see what she says.</p>
<p>
It doesn’t sound stupid at all. It can be tough when your loved ones are hard headed.</p>
<p>What do you me “disowned” you? Is he now absolutely refusing to have anything to do with you and is not going to pay for your college? or is he threatening this over retaking it? “Disown” is a serious term with specific consequences. If he truly went to court and really disowned you or is refusing to pay for college now, my suspicion is that he was looking for an excuse to do this anyways and picked this fight just because it came up. If it weren’t for this, it would have been something else NCPs unfortunately have a terrible track record in paying up for college and many look for ways out. </p>
<p>If he’s out of the picture for college now over such a little disagreement, I ‘m afraid that he was looking for this excuse, and I suggest you start looking for other ways to pay for your college than any voluntary money coming from him. Better you find out now than later, as many kids do when the bill arrives and deadbeat parent just doesn’t pay it and kid can’t go t school. Happens all of the time. So unless there is some court mandated support in the divorce papers, you can’t count on his paying for you once you are out of high school. That’ what my guess is that this is all about. See it all of the time.</p>
<p>Is this for NCSU? I would call them to confirm this, but I don’t think they care how many times you take the SAT. Each time you send your score to the college, if a section or more is higher, it is updated in your application by computer. Admissions officers look at your file, but I don’t think they look for scores that are not already on there. </p>
<p>You could try to bring your father up to date on college applications. Some very selective schools- such as the Ivy’s- do look at how many times someone takes the SAT and generally 3 is enough. Taking it more than once is fine. For large state schools, I don’t think it really matters how many times you take it. However, when your father applied to colleges, this was not done by computer, so perhaps he is basing his ideas on the days when it was not common to take the SAT more than once, but that isn’t the case now. </p>
<p>Your relationship to your father is important and you are also probably dependent on his financial help so you need to consider if you can take the test and also preserve your relationship with him. Taking the test behind his back may not be the best way- because you could lose his trust. Is there some way someone can intervene on your behalf- a guidance counselor, pastor to tell him times have changed with college admissions? Is he willing to speak to an admissions counselor at NCSU who can tell him directly that taking the SAT again won’t hurt you and might even help? In the meantime, you could sign up for it- since it may take some time to work this out and you don’t want to miss a deadline if you find you can take it. </p>
<p>I second cptofthehouse’s concern about Dad pulling the rug from under you financially if he gets angry at you over something he doesn’t agree with. This could continue through college. What if you take a class he doesn’t approve of? What if you wish to go on a school trip and he doesn’t like it? </p>
<p>"Honoring " a parent is easy when a parent has the child’s best interest at heart, but it gets tricky when this is not the case. IMHO, disowning you for wanting to take the SAT and threatening to not speak to you if you involve your mother is more about him, not you. It might be in your best interest to take it again. Your decision to take or not take the test needs to be decided according to how dependent you are on him, but if he is pulling this now, he may very well do this later. </p>
<p>I don’t know how your church interprets “honoring a parent”. I suggest you speak to someone more knowledgeable about it so that you are able to take care of yourself and also honor him.- and be very clear to yourself what “honor” does and does not mean. It doesn’t mean always obey if to do so is going to harm you. An obvious example would be if he asked you to rob a bank. You know that is wrong and you would go to jail. Most parents wouldn’t do that and I doubt he would. Other situations, like this one are not so clear. I suggest you do this because there may come a time where taking care of you means not appeasing him, and you will want to know how to do this according to your ethics. </p>
<p>Although you are bright and capable of attending college, consider where you will get your funds from and you may want to consider options where you are the most financially independent. </p>
<p>I’m scared to talk to anyone about it, but I’ll talk to my mom tomorrow since its the last day to register… Thank you all for your advice so far.</p>
<p>Taking it only once, unless a student aces the test, is freakish nowadays. Twice is normal. Three times is starting to show a bit of desperation. Four times is desperate. That’s how a lot of college staff view it these days.</p>
<p>Large state colleges can update scores on an application by computer. Sometimes the admissions counselor will only see the latest update, not how many attempts a student takes the test. </p>
<p>I agree that 3 times is about as much as a smaller more elite college thinks is reasonable, but this isn’t the main consideration when admitting a student. The most selective colleges though have so many top applicants that selecting between them is difficult, so overtesting may be a concern when applying to them. However, for the large state colleges it may not make a difference if much at all.</p>
<p>I’m more concerned about the OP being afraid to speak to her father, and his reaction to her wanting to test one more time. Unless there are financial concerns over the cost of the test, I don’t see where her taking it again could hurt, and it could help her chances of admission. As a parent, the threat of “disowning” seems very out of proportion to the OP wanting to test again. I commend her for doing her best to honor him and have a good relationship with him, but I hope she will seek some counseling on how to handle, while still caring about, a difficult or easily angered parent. </p>
<p>This might be too late and not apply to you, but if you live with your Mom and your income qualifies for free or reduced lunch you can get a fee waiver for the SAT from your guidance counselor.</p>
<p>I’m sorry your Dad is being difficult about this, sometimes people think disagreeing about something is akin to disrespect. Would he agree to trying the ACT instead?</p>
<p>Since he won’t talk to you, maybe write him a letter and tell him how you feel?</p>
<p>Something like this: Dear Dad, I’m sorry we argued and that you think I don’t trust you, but I believe retaking the test will help me get admitted and maybe even qualify for some scholarships. At the least it should not hurt me.
I really want to respect your opinion, but in this point I disagree. I hope you won’t hold this against me.</p>
<p>I’ll try! I think I’ll take the November SAT when I do retake (If I do retake). I don’t get why he got upset, but I have to make my own decisions. I know my mom supports it, and taking the November SAT will give me some time to think.</p>
<p>So… study and take a shot at the ACT instead. It isn’t taking the SAT again… You should tell your mom for sure if you haven’t yet, do NOT keep it a secret from her.</p>