My dad wants me to apply elsewhere... help me!

<p>So, NYU is one of my top choices right now. I'm kind of between NYU and Barnard for where to apply ED. I haven't looked at many other places, but I'm not really into the typical "campus" feel; I want to go out and do things rather than party in a dorm room. However, he keeps suggesting schools like Princeton (which I have no chance of getting into) and Colby. What should I tell him? What do students who go to NYU think makes the school so amazing? By the way, I want to go into the sciences, most likely chemistry or biochem. My dad wants me to do premed, but I'd honestly rather teach and do research! (He's like... "you can do that too with an MD degree" >.<)</p>

<p>You're a HS Junior so tell your dad to get off your back about career plans. There's no "premed" major at NYU or most colleges. There are requirements but those are covered by majors like biochem, chem, bio, neuro, etc, so nothing to worry about there - you can always apply to Grad, Med, Dental, Vet, or Pharm school later if you want. Tell your dad you want to keep career plans open and with a science degree, you'll have a ton of options after you graduate. </p>

<p>Tell your parents you want an urban environment, not an LAC in Maine. If they're paying for your college, you do have to compromise though. Maybe apply to 1 ivy school to please them (Cornell has excellent science programs and isn't as selective as Princeton - just a suggestion :)). Schedule an info session/tour of NYU and Barnard with your dad. Let him see first-hand why you like the urban environment and the opportunities available in NYC. NYU is a lot more prestigious now then when your dad was growing up, so he might not think of it as a very good school. </p>

<p>My parents didn't want me to go to NYU initially but I got 2 scholarships (WinS and a non-nyu one) which made it affordable, and NYC is near home, plus they knew I wanted to be in the city.</p>

<p>I know there's no premed major... but let's say I applied to NYU and got LSP'ed-- that would be bad for the whole premed thing.
You know NYU is close to home for me too :). My parents literally threatened to FOLLOW ME to college, which is why I even started considering the city. Then I realized I don't really want that whole "campus" feel thing anyway, and the city has a ton of new things for me to explore (would you belive me if I told you I've lived on LI my whole life and have never been to the MoMA?).
I guess I'll start applying for scholarships early next year and hope that goes somewhere.
My dad is under the impression that going to medical school would give me MORE options doing research and teaching than getting a PhD would. I thought that would only be true if I wanted to teach in medical school. Do you know anything about this?
By the way thanks a lot Alix, you've helped me so much! Hopefully I'll see you in the city in 2 years (unless you graduate by then.... but I'm assuming that by the 2012 at the end of your username, you'll be a senior)</p>

<p>My son just graduated from NYU and I went to Barnard (in the dark ages). The current reputation of both of those schools has changed drastically in the last decade. When I went to college, NYU was a commuter school and no one ever heard of Barnard. So your dad may need to be educated about the current scene. By the way, other than both being in NYC, these are very different schools. Barnard has much more a campus feel and you can take lots of courses at Columbia. You could apply to Columbia. to please your dad, and Barnard. The admission offices are completely independent. The college selection process is a long journey and you are just at the beginning - the important thing is to get your parents to get invested in this exploration phase.</p>

<p>I've looked into both schools and I knew someone was going to say that. I'm still between those two feelings, but I know neither of them are that stereotypical "go to football games and be in a sorority"-type places. They are also both in NYC (as you said). I'm visiting Barnard on the 7th and I'm not sure if I'll even get to visit NYU. I'm sort of leaning toward Barnard, but there are things drawing me toward NYU, if that makes sense.</p>

<p>Go visit. You're dad may fall in love. Just an idea... that's what got my dad. He really wants/wanted me to stay on the west coast. Good luck!</p>

<p>"My dad is under the impression that going to medical school would give me MORE options doing research and teaching than getting a PhD would."</p>

<p>Not true at all - MD's are naturally for people who people who want to practice as physicians. Sure, lots of physicians are involved in research (mostly clinical trials but academic work too) and you're qualified to teach at an advanced level. But a PhD is the more research-oriented degree, better if you specifically want to be a researcher at a university, lab, government job, or any type of facility. This is not a decision you should be making now at all. At 16, worry about getting into college and picking a major. Freshmen usually change their majors, especially science majors who often switch to non-science subjects. For all you known you could end up developing collagen-lipsticks at L'Oreal. :p (hey, someone's gotta do it.)</p>

<p>Why not visit NYU and Barnard on the same day? might help sway the parents.</p>

<p>Barnard visit is all day because it's some orientation thing. I know I shouldn't be deciding now, but he seems to think in the event that my decision doesn't change it would still be advantageous to get an MD.</p>

<p>ask him "what the hell do u have against nyu?!". lol.</p>

<p>Its your career, not your dad's. Do what you will be happy doing. That is part of maturing.</p>

<p>Who is PAYING for this education?</p>

<p>rainbowrose- I would suggest taking your dad on college tours of the colleges you mentioned in your op over the spring break. When they start talking about requirements, gpa, tuition blah, blah, blah, it will be an eye opener for him, updating his opinions and impressions of the schools. The reality of the chances of you getting accepted will seep in.</p>

Who is PAYING for this education?"

Even if her parents are contributing to her education doesn't mean they get to simply tell her where to go, what to study, and what career to pick. I hope you didn't simply say to your son/daughter, "Go to Princeton. Major in ___ and then become ____ because I want it." </p>

<p>Yeah like Batllo said, a lot of parents don't realize how selective colleges are. I don't know your GPA or SAT or anything, but Princeton is really a "reach" school for everyone, even valedictorians. So you'll need safety and match schools, and NYU and Barnard might fit.</p>

<p>Also, MD and PhD programs are both extremely selective (like 3% acceptance rate selective...) and it's not something you should be concerned with as a HS student. I don't think it's too much to ask your dad if you can simply apply to NYU. In exchange you can apply to a school he likes or something.</p>

<p>My SATs are a 2080 but somewhat even in each section (730M 680CR 670W) (working on bringing them up... don't know if it will happen though since I've already taken the test twice but i didnt study THAT hard) but my rank is 6/350ish in a pretty competitive public school where we had like 10-15 people admitted to Ivies ED this year. I was also a Siemens semifinalist and Alix already knows I do a bunch of research stuff :)</p>

<p>AHH my dad's making me miss columbia SHP to go look at Wheaton! I only get 4 absences, 4 of which are ALREADY PLANNED and I don't want to go to a small LAC. I want to go to a larger school. The only reason I'm considering Barnard is the fact that it's right across the street from Columbia, but you still get that large school feel with some extra attention.</p>

<p>Alix: Yes, actually is DOES mean they can tell him/her where to go and what to study - IF they feel like it. Same as they decide what house to buy, where to live, and therefore the high school you do to. If they buy our car, they can decide exactly what it is. No one is saying that is OPTIMAL. But everyone will have their own opinions/ideas about how much the student provides input, and how much the payer provides input. If the student can't pay, but wants to go to college, telling one's Dad to "get off your back" is definitely NOT the way to go about making that happen. A college applicant is NOT an adult yet. Has not (for the most part) had a job with financial obligations, been in the "real" (working) world, has no CLUE how much money this education CLUE what nearly $60,000 a year really means. As for what I do, in terms of my own child, that's irrelevant. But I will say that NYU is her dream school too. And there is little to NO chance that we can afford it. And I earn a healthy salary. But, what I can and can't afford is NOT for my daughter to decide. And, yes, FYI - I DO have input in her major. If I'm going to pay more for an education than any home I've ever purchased, only to have my child return to my home after college without a job or any prospects of a job because she chose a major in which it's difficult to impossible to be hired...and I'll then have to KEEP supporting can betcha I have input. I would HOPE most parents would want to work together. But they don't HAVE to. And your insistence that OP put his/her foot down is irrational. If my daughter did that, I'd say "good luck to ya...hope you find a way to pay for that education". </p>

<p>My asking "who is paying" is an "opener" so that OP understands that, contrary to some of the children answering on is an "agreement", and can require finesses, negotiation, give and take. Hopefully everyone can be happy. But that will never happen with ultimatums.</p>

<p>I am paying for my daughters education.She wants NYU,Barnard or Columbia too! If she is lucky enough to get into Columbia I will be thrilled to pay and looking forward to it! :)</p>

<p>This is probably way too personal to get into on this board, but what the heck. </p>

<p>My father tried to serve me up an ultimatum for college, four years ago. Be an MD or pay for it yourself. </p>

<p>I spent four years in high school getting good grades, doing extracurriculars and basically working myself to death, only to be given no choice in choosing colleges when it came to senior year. My parents DID NOT communicate their desires to me CLEARLY, and they spent three years in high school telling me to "do what I love".</p>

<p>And it broke my heart. </p>

<p>I know that my parents had the right to do it, it was their money, their investment, but looking back, man, I don't know how I made it through senior year. I chose to walk away from the money. I KNEW I would not be happy as a biology major, knew deep in my heart that I would HATE it and resent them for forcing this on me. So I worked and funded my way through CC and then transferred to NYU. That year in CC was a killer. I cried a lot, worked a lot, studied a lot, and hated everything and everyone. But now I'm here, bleeding Violet and graduating in 2011.</p>

<p>The point to my story is, OP, if it's meant to happen, it will happen. I would still try to APPLY to NYU and cross that bridge when you get to it. College admissions could be a heartbreaking process if there isn't clear communication. I'm STILL mending fences with my parents over what happened during high school. Sometimes I think that parents don't know how much it can hurt when they suddenly say, "oh, well, we won't pay for college unless you do x, y and z for us". It's one thing if they are clear about their intentions, that is totally different. But being that daughter who did say, "fine, I WILL pay for it my own way", it can be more painful than someone can realize.</p>


<p>I really dont agree with you and I don't care if you care, its your life, but trying to have the upper hand with kids is counterproductive. I am more interested in my D having a fullfilled life and passion at what she does than me telling her what she should do for life. Yes we explored options throughout HS, she tailored her HS life to the various professions she might pursue, but at the end of the day SHE, not me, has to make the decision what is right for her. Maybe I'm lucky and taught her right. IDK.
My friend is now dealing with a daughter who was forced to do a course of study for a field her mother thought would be lucrative for her as a career. The daughter is a gifted, passionate writer and was denied the ability to pursue that. Now 2 years later, and money wasted, she is transfering to pursue that field, despite her mothers begs, pleas and ultimatums. All the while their relationship has been strained. is that worth it? not in my book.
It our job to guide our children, not micrormanage them into adulthood.</p>

<p>@R124687 - No one is denying that parents can't be controlling, but before you keep rambling, let's look at the facts:</p>

<li><p>The parents aren't begging for CUNY while she selfishly insists on a $200k school. The parents are pushing for Princeton and fancy LAC's while she's hoping for a scholarship at NYU</p></li>
<li><p>The OP isn't getting a BA in MadeUpFluff in Gallatin. She is pursuing a BS in Biochemistry, a lucrative degree in a demanding field which gives her many job and grad options</p></li>
<li><p>I suggested a compromise, such as applying to schools her dad likes as well as schools she likes - not really demanding or throwing a tantrum, is it?</p></li>

<p>You seem to have replaced the OP's problem with your own personal situation. That's not the issue here so your rant about finances is irrelevant - if this girl had been accepted and her parents simply couldn't afford it, it would be a different story but the problem is she's not allowed to even apply while they push for other $200k schools</p>