<p>SRE, re you post 457, good for you - you know what you want and need. I think that getting to this place in life is really a good thing. It is always hard to make a decision to change (big C or not) jobs so know that. I had a couple of big changes back in the day, and it was truly difficult deciding. Best of luck.</p>
<p>sunrise - I’m happy to hear that you continue to feel better each week. Congratulations on the job offer! I don’t have advice to offer you about taking or not taking the job. I’m sure you will find the decision you feel is best for you and your family. Good luck.</p>
<p>sunrise, during my recent year of cancer treatments, people wondered how I could possibly keep my business going (I have my own small business). Honestly, I don’t think I would have gotten through it nearly as well as I did without my business, even though it suffered. I was very involved on an online breast-cancer forum (not unlike CC), and over the year I noticed that it seemed like the women who stopped working to tend to their cancer, or those who didn’t have busy lives, had a lot more depression and emotional upheaval. This is certainly not a scientific study, just an observation.</p>
<p>Somehow I suspect you will find a way to make it all work out. You obviously have the wisdom to do just that.</p>
<p>Sunrise - Congratulations on the job offer. I have been following your posts with interest and respect. Different things come to the foreground at different points in life. I have great confidence in your ability to read yourself and proceed from your core. It is great to read this opportunity as a win, whether you choose to accept it or not. Quite validating and as awesome as you are!! All the best -</p>
<p>I have never known anyone with such a gift of the written word. I am speechless.</p>
<p>I hope you are having a great day today. Hang in there!</p>
<p>S1, a second year at college, is quite an unusual kid in whom exist beautifully blended intellectual maturity and emotional maturity. I consider him my intellectual peer, and I tremendously enjoy our lengthy email exchanges on various weighty matters - for these, I prefer email rather than phone conversation since we end up writing a treaty that goes on for several pages. </p>
<p>Wonder of wonders! He seems genuinely interested in talking and communicating with his parents. On weekends, he usually “pings” us to see when it is convenient for us to have a Skype video call. </p>
<p>Tonight, among other things, we discussed my interviews, future professional prospects, and how in aggregate this cancer has been a net positive experience for me in that it made me appreciate so much of what life has to offer and how it intensified all the palettes and colors of everything I see, hear, and tastes. </p>
<p>He mused “gee, Mom, I feel cheated for not having a cancer of my own”…</p>
<p>Of course, he shouldn’t have any such thing! But humor aside, I am so profoundly relieved - at the beginning of my journey, I was frightened by the possibility that my condition will forever cast a dark spell over my kids’ life and their outlook. I now know that instead, they are starting to understand that even a life’s crisis can be “salvaged” for the good it can bring. </p>
<p>Come to think of it, S2 said the other day “Mom, I was all ready to coddle you and baby you as you go through all this, but you are not giving me any such opportunity!” I guess that’s his way of saying “I am grateful that you are doing well”.</p>
<p>It’s been a week since any news. How’s it going? We still care about you.</p>
<p>Yes. Please do touch base if it is convenient.</p>
<p>I hope all is going well, but please know that this is also a place you can visit safely if you at any time experience setbacks.</p>
<p>I was frightened by the possibility that my condition will forever cast a dark spell over my kids’ life and their outlook. I now know that instead, they are starting to understand that even a life’s crisis can be “salvaged” for the good it can bring. </p>
<hr>
<p>Sunriseeast, my good friend is battling cancer for the second time around. What I have noticed is that she & her kids have been drawn together even more closely, and it’s an amazing thing to see. My friend has a blog. Her kids all live in other states. Through my online “peeping,” I am able to see their relationship blossom from good to incredible … it’s like I can almost feel it. </p>
<p>Sometimes when life brings heartache our way, it brings even more joy … which we can see & experience all the better given the juxtaposition.</p>
<p>sunrise, I’ve been thinking about you this weekend and wondering how you’ve been. Sending more positive thoughts your way.</p>
<p>Ha ha,</p>
<p>good to be missed.</p>
<p>I continue to do well. Last Friday was my 7th chemo day (out of 18 weekly sessions). Still no side effects.</p>
<p>I got my second cancer antigen marker blood test (CA 125) results a few days ago.</p>
<p>The number is continuing its meaningful downward trend (its now at a bit over half of what it was 3 weeks ago).</p>
<p>Its still above the normal range (but not by much), but hey, the result is after the completion of less than 1/3 of the whole program. </p>
<p>If it goes down by 1/3 next time, I will already be in the normal range. CT scan is due in 3 weeks: that will show the REAL progress. It will be interesting to see how much tumors have shrunken by that time, which is the half way point of the whole regimen. I was staged at 4B even though the cancer did not spread to vital organs, because there was just SO MUCH of it all over the abdominal area and they couldnt surgically get rid of them all. So, meaningful shrinkage of the tumors will give me an excellent prognosis going forward.</p>
<p>CAVEAT: They added the third drug to two primary drugs at the beginning of the 4th week. I read that this drug may make CA125 unreliable for about 30 % of the women (either higher or lower than it should be). </p>
<p>Regardless of where the number is going, I know and feel that the tumors are melting away, since I continue to feel better and better each and every week, chemo or not. All the abdominal symptoms are completely gone now. I havent felt this good, both physically and emotionally in last few years. I am back to 75 minutes of cardio exercise every day (lower strength though). I am convinced that the cancer had me for quite some time even before it got finally caught when it started to spread aggressively. Now, I believe I cannot feel this good unless the cancer is losing its firm grip on me. </p>
<p>I think a lot of my good progress is owed to kindness and generosity of all of you. I cant thank you enough.</p>
<p>Thanks for reporting, Sunrise. I am so pleased for you and your continued progress.</p>
<p>So glad to hear from you, Sunrise! And such good news!</p>
<p>by the way, I am doing everything in my power to maximize the odds of a good prognosis, and that includes eating 12 servings of fruits and vegetables with known cancer fighting properties.</p>
<p>Now, this takes a real discipline. Good thing that I was never a hedonist, and always had a knack for self flagellation. Masochism has its survival value!</p>
<p>Hi sunrise! Good to hear from you. I’ve been keeping you in my thoughts. I’m happy to hear that all continues to go well.</p>
<p>God bless, Sunrise. So glad to hear that you are doing well and are such an active force in your recovery. You’re inspiring.</p>
<p>Sunriseeast glad your chemo is not giving you bad side effect and indications are that it is working. funny how some of your post seem to resonate with me or actually all of them. things I think about but have no idea how to verbalize them. I think with your insight you will make the best decision for you and your family.</p>
<p>Great to hear from you sunriseeast and hope that you continue to progress and knock that cancer on it’s arse. :)</p>
<p>OK. Will you let me vent a little today, won’t you?</p>
<p>So, I send email update to a group of friends/family periodically since I understand most people may be uncomfortable asking how I am doing in fear of making me uncomfortable.</p>
<p>The last time, the update was about my job interview trip to CA: my sense of vulnerability, uncertainty and hope. Most of the content has been posted on this thread (#453, #459).</p>
<p>You get to know about people in unusual circumstances.</p>
<p>I got a very interesting reply from one of the people on the email list. She and I are not particularly close or have a long history. We got to know her and her husband through a Sunday dialogue group. Since she asked a few times how I was doing, I added her in the last email.</p>
<p>In her reply, she said something to the effect that she thought about ethical implication of me not disclosing fully my medical condition to the prospective employer, but in the end decided to give me a pass because after all nobody knows whats going to happen next. In addition to this, she discussed her own aches and pains (age related), and the recent flus and some headaches of her adult daughter who had to miss a few days of work because of that. </p>
<p>I was stunned by this reaction. First of all, there is NO ethical dilemma here. Nobody would think that a person with a high blood pressure owes it to a prospective employer that there is a possibility that one day s/he may have a fatal stroke at work. Nobody would dare suggest that someone who has eaten char broiled double cheese bacon hamburger three times a day all his/her file should warn the potential employer that one day, s/he may have a massive heart attack at work. Nobody with a very dangerous hobby (extreme rock climbing, etc) will feel obligated to discuss the possibility that s/he may one day have a fatal accident. Its illegal to discriminate against a visibly pregnant job candidate in an attempt to ensure that there is no gap in her employment. </p>
<p>I should have kept my mouth shut, but I couldnt help it, so I replied there is no ethical dilemma to begin with. She replied back did you NOT see that in the end, I decided that it is OK for you not to disclose this? You shared very intimate detail about what you are going through, so I felt that its an invitation for me to comment your way of thinking and conducting yourself</p>
<p>WOW!!! It takes a very special person to read an account of someone who, faced with a life threatening medical condition, is trying gain back her normalcy with uncertainly and hope, and end up sitting in judgment about that her integrity and ethical standard. </p>
<p>I was left speechless …</p>
<p>I think I will take her off the email list from now on.</p>
<p>There are a lot of idiots out there, and that’s why you are not friends(and shouldn’t be) with everyone.</p>