<p>dmd77: I would only do that as a last resort. To have planned and implemented this surprise…I would continue with the total surprise. $12K and that line would worry my husband needlessly. Taking from the 401K or IRA is a much better suggestion. </p>
<p>What a wonderful plan and party. I look forward to reading ALL about it. May it be a wonderful day health wise for you too.</p>
<p>sunrriseast - good luck with your surprise! I have enjoyed reading about how loving and supportive your DH has been throughout your health challenges. He definitely sounds like your soulmate.<br>
I hope the surprise party goes off without a hitch! You both deserve it!!</p>
<p>The party sounds so exciting! Hope your DH and everyone in his life enjoys it!</p>
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<p>I laundered some money by borrowing it temporarily from one of my kids. Do your kids have 12K handy?</p>
<p>Would the kids charge you interest? :D</p>
<p>sunrise, just be aware that tapping the 401(k) or IRA may require a little lead time. Have to tell my 401(k) participants all the time – your 401(k) account is not an ATM!</p>
<p>You mentioned how out of character the whole surprise party is for you. Is there anything “in character” where you could use a temporary little white lie to explain to your H what that amount of money is for, something that wouldn’t raise his suspicion?</p>
<p>sunrise, I’m assuming that since the party is when your sons’ spring breaks overlap that it is in March. However, I can’t be the only one here who is craving a little update. Can you give us anything to tide us over? Those of us who were watching Downton Abbey need a little party spoiler to ease our season end withdrawal! We are rooting for this to be a wonderful surprise for your husband and a special time for your whole family!</p>
<p>Sunrise, I normally check in on you from your writings. You have been quiet. I hope this is because you are enjoying life. If you get an opportunity, will you let us know you are ok.</p>
<p>hello everybody!</p>
<p>the party is a little over 2 weeks. I picked the menu. Decided to go for buffet option so that people can choose what they want and eat as much as they would like to. There are so many decisions to make. Table arrangement,etc. Decided not to make it into a dancing event : Instead, I decided to have people come and talk about the quintessential AM (his initials) stories. There are a lot of good materials and some of our mutual friends are already salivating over the opportunities to share their stories.</p>
<p>I am not going all out with decorations, balloons etc. I have never done anything like this. I am allergic to ceremonies and formal events. You are talking about a woman who couldn’t stomach the idea of having a wedding ceremony,and ended up having a wedding in a courthouse. I gave standing offers of an elopement bonus to my two kids.</p>
<p>So, you can imagine how clueless I am about all this. I have never felt to incompetent in my life. A friend asked me what kind of table decorations I am going to have, and I asked “really? What it that for?”</p>
<p>Regarding the financial aspects, I think I have a way out. I had a long discussion with my H tonight to figure out how often he checks the account and what kind of automatic alert system he has devised for large amount of money transfer for the accounts. I think I am going to the bank, and discuss a way to temporarily disable the automatic alert generation option.</p>
<p>Oh, well…</p>
<p>Regarding my treatment. It’s unclear what’s going on. I told you all that 6 weeks ago, the scan came back clean, but the cancer blood marker went up slightly. Since then, the number is inching up (every so slowly, but still directionally wrong). It’s hard to say what this signifies. My doctor is not alarmed. He said, once the number is within a normal range, it can wobble up and down. However, the number has been going up consistently though very slowly. So, I am spooked.</p>
<p>Some women with my diagnosis and my pattern (only a very short remission after the front line therapy) respond to a new drug very well initially only to develop drug resistance. That’s why I was not unequivocally elated when my scan came back clean. My worst fear is, this is what’s happening - that the drug is no longer working and now I have to start all over again the game of shooting in the dark. </p>
<p>I am planning to request a scan shortly to see whether the cancer is coming back. I am mentally prepared for it, and have thought through the action plans. I won’t be caught naked and defenseless. Objectively though, if the treatment stopped working, it puts me further into the camp of “really high risk patient” category. You know what this means. I have seen this movie several times on the Internet patient forum.</p>
<p>Emotionally, I am holding up well enough. I still laugh. I still scheme, not only about this party - I am scheming something even grander - I will tell you when the time is right. No matter what happens, I will still make larger than life plans. I am still planning things as if I will live to be 100. I believe there is a happy ending somewhere - I just don’t know what form and shape it will take. That said, this fickle dance partner of mine is a very high maintenance character - it takes a lot of mental reserve to face him day in and day out. I stand by my earlier assertion that they should have a cancer certification board. Those who fail the test will get something more mundane like hemorrhoids and erectile dysfunction.</p>
<p>You’re living large, sunriseeast. Have fun with the party planning! (And you know, your dance partner is probably grumbling to his buddies that he got the dame from h*lll.)</p>
<p>Why don’t you have a trusted friend help with the party ideas (table decorations, napkins, etc.)? I am similarly gala-impaired and can identify with you!</p>
<p>But it sounds like you will have a great party just by providing food & loving friends. 
:)</p>
<p>Hi sunrise, I love to check in and see your happy spirit smiling. Your party sounds like it will be wonderful! I look forward to hearing about it afterward. I am very curious about this new and grander event you are scheming.</p>
<p>Thanks for checking in, sunrise.</p>
<p>Thanks for the party update. You have obviously covered the most important aspect of party planning with your loving mix of guests who will make this event so memorable for all of your family. We’ll look forward to your final report in a few weeks when you are basking in the afterglow. I am continually awed by the steady, quiet courage with which you approach this challenge. You’ve taught us so much with this thread. Wishing you nothing but good outcomes!
p.s. - regarding table decorations: My S is getting married in September and I’ve been having good luck collecting ideas for rehearsal dinner table decorations on Pinterest. Lots of ideas from the traditional to the whimsical out there.</p>
<p>Hey Sunrise! Glad to hear you are just busy with party planning. Your aversion to ceremony and big parties describes me too but my son wanted (last yr) a big grad party with all his friends and let me tell you - I don’t “do” parties - I was basically scared to death and out of my element…but in the end it was just magical (picture an impromtu jason mraz singalong with 100+ kids in the yard led by a girl playing ukelele). I don’t think it matters what table decor is, and all that. You’ve got the great friends all excited to share stories - it will be fantastic! Not to be cheesy but we put photos on foamcore, from baby pics on up - maybe the kids could help with that? I ditto the idea to find people who are “into” this kind of thing to help if you want, there are people who enjoy it.</p>
<p>The party sounds perfect! I can’t wait to hear how wonderful it was.</p>
<p>I hope that the increase in cancer markers is not significant. What does your cancer-o-meter say?</p>
<p>NYmom,</p>
<p>my cancer meter have been quiet. That’s why it’s puzzling. It’s been 9 weeks since the blood marker started to inch up (ever so slowly, but still only in ONE direction, not wobbling back and forth). If the cancer is coming back, my cancer meter should be screaming by now. But, not a pip. That’s why it’s hard for my say what’s going on.</p>
<p>I will request a PET next time I go back to MSKCC. I will get PET shortly after my H’s party- March 17th. I don’t want to have it before. I don’t want to spoil the party in case the outcome is not good. I have braced myself for the worst possible scenario, but it takes a lot of mental reserve. If this treatment is deemed a failure, this movie may become pretty ugly… </p>
<p>Anyone with erectile dysfunction wanting to trade with me? Ooppssss… I forget that I don’t have the equipment, but by now, I don’t have any female organ either so i can truly go either way, don’t you think?</p>
<p>Lol…sunriseeast…</p>
<p>Your body has been a great indicator…You’re good…</p>
<p>I have a friend that had terminal cancer…that was 25 years ago…she is still here…</p>
<p>I say had…because…although she had some scares over the years… she is going to die of old age…She has been clean for a long time…</p>
<p>It is easy for me to say…but don’t get too down…</p>
<p>I have confidence in your cancer-o-meter, sunrise, and even your doctor is not concerned about the blood results. I know that it is important for you to be ever-braced for bad news, but this does not sound bad to me. Your cancer-o-meter has been more sensitive than the medical tests in the past, hasn’t it?</p>