<p>Good luck Sunriseeast…the waiting for the results must be agonizing.</p>
<p>Oh, sunriseeast, this is such a long, exhausting slog. I hope that the scan is clean. What does the cancer-o-meter read? </p>
<p>You would not be human if you did not have those “absinthe” moments.</p>
<p>When I look at Absinthe, I see thoughtfulness. In your words, I hear that thoughtfulness. </p>
<p>Best wishes this week.</p>
<p>Sunrise, I hope you take this post in the spirit it is intended. If it helps, I am glad. If it doesn’t - disregard it as babbling by someone whom you have never met.</p>
<p>I started following your journey what, 16 months ago but have never posted (as I’m sure have many others). I lurk and listen. I try to learn and absorb. I hug my friends and children just a little bit tighter. But I have nothing new or creative to add. I would only repeat the “thinking of you” “Hoping for the best” etc.</p>
<p>Until today. I somehow just feel that I need to remind you of things you already know.</p>
<p>“How many times do I buoy myself only to fall hard. How many times do I pick myself up off the floor to charge forward and hit the wall instead?” AS MANY TIMES AS YOU NEED TO. OVER AND OVER IF NECESSARY!</p>
<p>I know this is tiresome. I can’t even imagine how tiresome. If you need to have a period of despondancy and quiet resignation and you find that works for you for a while, go ahead (not that you need MY permission 
) but then… you pick yourself up and keep being our sunrise.</p>
<p>I feel in many ways that I would know you if I saw you. You have painted your own self portrait through this thread. Go back and read some of your earlier posts. You are NOT the woman in Absinthe. You ARE a woman of courage and determination. You are a fighter, a thoughtful, strong, intelligent woman who faces adversity with poise and beautiful introspection. An inspiration to many of us.</p>
<p>So, if you can’t quite bring yourself to pull yourself up today,or tomorrow, please know that there are many of us here that you can lean on. As trite as it may sound we are all “wishing you the best”</p>
<p>Each of us that you have allowed to follow your journey have been blessed. You continue to be an inspiration. I pray for good news tomorrow. Sending a hug.</p>
<p>What Skier29 said.</p>
<p>Sending you one brick on which to build your leaning wall.</p>
<p>SKier29 - lovely</p>
<p>I hope you get good news tomorrow. You certainly deserve it. Sending another brick for your leaning wall.</p>
<p>Sunrise - I’m adding another brick as well as my thoughts and prayers.</p>
<p>My thoughts are with you as they have been from the beginning of your journey. Continued best wishes for a full remission and recovery. </p>
<p>As you probably know, sunrise, Absinthe is also a painting that seemed doomed by popular opinion (people thought it was ugly and represented the lowest moral standards) and was eventually put away in storage. It made a notable comeback years later, and today it is displayed prominently in the Musee d’Orsay (my favorite) in Paris. So perhaps the painting also symbolizes triumph against adversity - another thing you can relate to strongly. </p>
<p>So glad to hear that the party went off so well, with the help of a little money laundering!</p>
<p>rosheke,</p>
<p>good point, Roshke. Musee d’Orsay is also my favorite: I like it far better than Louvre. The Absinthe is the drink in front of her: supposedly a highly controversial and addictive drink that was on the verge of being banned.</p>
<p>In a way, that drink feels like the chemo poisons I am bound to live with on and off the rest of my life. If my body cannot live without it occasionally, it’s a form of addiction, isn’t it? </p>
<p>And, everybody, thank you so much for picking me off the floor.</p>
<p>I feel like a baby - because in the big picture of life, I am still the fortunate one. There are people who have been at it much longer under much more difficult circumstances. I need to pull myself together and carry on…</p>
<p>Sunriseeast, I have been lurking for a while. I want you to know that I, too, am pulling for you and sending you prayers and good thoughts. It’s not much but its all we can do.</p>
<p>I think I know which cancer you have, and if so it’s the same one that’s hit my family twice. Its insidious and nasty and doesn’t get nearly enough press or research. That said, there are those who are able to hold it at bay for many years through chemo. </p>
<p>You are so much stronger and more positive than so many people with serious illnesses. If you have some down, tired days - well that’s understandable and means you’re human!</p>
<p>roshke,
I am taking your theme and running.</p>
<p>The woman in Degas’ Aabsinthe painting is indeed the very picture of dejection and hopelessness. She is sitting in front of what is basically a toxic concoction, not unlike chemo treatments.</p>
<p>Yet the model for this painting was a famous Parisian ACTRESS named Ellen Andree. This was not her true nature, only a role or an image she projected for a short while. In fact, I have read that "In the process Andr</p>
<p>Sunriseeast, thank you for allowing us to “pick you up off the floor”!</p>
<p>Sending good thoughts your way. You continue to be an inspiration…</p>
<p>adding my positives thoughts and good wishes for tomorrow</p>
<p>As sunrise knows, my husband is also dealing with cancer, with ups and downs similar to hers. So when posters here support sunrise, I feel supported, too. Thank you.</p>
<p>Sunrise: You may not always feel courageous and determined, but that honesty only makes you more of an inspiration, not less.</p>
<p>sunrise,
Also remember that you have just planned (and carried out brilliantly!) the party of a lifetime. Feeling drained afterwards would not be an unusual reaction for anyone. Nevertheless, I know these tests are weighing heavily on your mind. Do be kind to yourself this week and let yourself feel the love of your family and all of us here who will help in any way you could possibly ask.</p>
<p>Sunrise: many good thoughts and wishes for you today. I’ll second what CD says: planning a party is exhausting especially for those for whom it doesn’t come naturally. You also spent a lot of time being “secretive” with info and your DH which can also be draining. But you pulled it off. As the kids say, Sunrise FTW!</p>
<p>I’m thinking of you. Good luck today.</p>
<p>Thinking of you Sunrise - it’s going to be a beautiful day here, that’s a good sign.</p>