<p>My essay is about a bad job experience I had and why going to college would allow me the choices of careers so I wouldn’t have to work in a place I absolutely hated.</p>
<p>Who wants to read it? Critic my grammar, my structure, and my content - it would be much appreciated (I would have no problem reading over other people’s as well).</p>
<p>…Anyone?</p>
<p>I can’t read the essay but I am wondering about the advisability of putting so much emphasis on what you hate. My suggestion is to focus more on what you like and are interested in.</p>
<p>^^ agree with ADad, it would be an uphill battle to overcome the negative aspect. And every job has some aspects that you might not necessarily hate, but won’t necessarily be doing cartwheels to do. :)</p>
<p>Why not focus on the career opportunities you WILL have, period, rather than the bad experience you did have. The only way I could see this working is if you could make it humorous and self-deprecating.</p>
<p>It’s not really an angry essay…it’s more of a “this job sucked, but college will make it better”. I’ll post some parts maybe you guys will see:</p>
<p>“I don’t want to sound desperate, but I need to get into college. During the summers of 2008 and 2009, I have experienced firsthand what a lack of a college education would bring me: a world of monotony and despair! Perhaps that may be a little hyperbolic, but let me explain.”</p>
<p>“I have no qualms with people who choose to work in a field where they’re stuck in a little cubicle all day (whether it’s an actual choice, or just the only job they could get with their business knowledge, or however they obtained it) – it’s just not for me. I looked at these people with horror. My burning question was “How could anyone stand this place!?” Of course I didn’t actually pose this question to anyone, but there were times I was tempted to. I knew from the second I first stepped in to that dull, gray, office that I did not want to work in ANY field that had me working in any office like that.”</p>
<p>Well, as I see it that is investing a lot of words to reveal that you don’t like to work in a cubicle. It doesn’t reveal anything more about you–about what makes you you.</p>
<p>Aim for something that only you could write. Here, check out this good advice:</p>
<p>[Essays</a>, Admission Information, Undergraduate Admission, U.Va.](<a href=“http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html]Essays”>http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html)</p>