<p>I’m writing about a person who has impacted me. I chose to do my neighbor, who guided me through all my years of embarassment and hardship living in America. She was in her mid 80’s and died last year. Heartwarming, huh? Well, the way I make it sound. My essay sounds voiceless and forced and makes her seem totally lame (like a flat, storybook character) Any tips on how to liven up the essay without making it lose its emotional value?</p>
<p>I think it would be helpful to zero in on a specific experience with this neighbour rather than being broad (if you have not already done this). That way, you can focus on one experience which should make it easier to delve into your relationship.</p>
<p>Thank you! I tried focusing on her personality and adding in personal experiences…but it sounds so…monotone D: Like I’m reciting an autobiography or something</p>
<p>I finally finished writing it! Wohoo!</p>
<p>That’s good to hear! Were you able to lend it a more personal tone in the end?</p>
<p>I think (hopefully) >-> I’m not an extremely touchy-feely person, but I wanted to at least write this piece nicely :[</p>
<p>Anecdotes and personal experiences are important in “a person who had an impact on me” essays. Writing about the interactions you had with her makes for a more interesting piece than writing about characteristics you heard she had. Hopefully you were able to achieve that.</p>
<p>Congrats on finishing it! You might want to put it down and come back to it tomorrow or in a few days to read it with fresh eyes and consider minor improvements.</p>
<p>Ah thank you! I will ^-^ I’m tempted to make a “Anyone want to read my essay” thread, but I’m too embarrassed to. It’s cheesy >-></p>