My essay is quite risky and unorthodox. Should I take the chance?

Hi CC! I’ve just finished the last in a long series of college essays, and I think it displays who I am best. As a result, it’s a little… weird. I decided on prompt 2: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
My essay is actually genuine. Although the lesson is a little cliché, it is actually something I learned about myself. My essay is about writing my essay. Is the current title too snarky? I may replace it with “650 Words”

Insert Witty Title Here

Crumpled papers surround me as yet another blank page stares me down intimidatingly.  I’m about to embark on my umpteenth expedition into the uncharted territory of a fresh sheet of paper.  The endless expanse of the flat, empty plane stretches on for miles.  It’s a frightening journey, but one which every high school student must make.

“You have to use the essay to tell colleges who you are,” my teacher said.  “This is your opportunity to make yourself shine.”  But how could I describe myself in just 650 words?  I’ve always had a passion for writing, whether it be poetry, papers, or articles for my school newspaper.  So why was it so hard to write the perfect essay?  How frustrating it was to be confined within the very thing I love.

“Write about something that you’re truly passionate about.”  That was easy for me- I have many passions, as I have been interested in many things throughout my life.  I decided to write about fencing- from anthropology to swordplay, I love examining the way people think.  I wrote about how many years of training and failure came to fruition when I earned my C15 rating.  What drove me to never give up was my refusal to accept anything but the best I could achieve.  However, it was this quality that led to one of my first crumpled papers.  Expressing my passion ended up being harder than executing the perfect counterattack.

“Sports are cliché,” my teacher said.  “Focus on making yourself stand out.”  My next essay focused on my love for music.  In a few words, I succeeded despite being told I could not do so because of my determination.  But how would this story stand out among many others just like it?  I was better at expressing my passion through the language of music.  Even a Spohr Concerto could not compare to the technical difficulty of stuffing myself into a 650 word box.  My mulish desire to write the perfect essay resulted in my artfully crafted words being stuffed violently into the crammed trash can.  The countless YouTube videos I’d watched and innumerable essays I’d read didn’t seem to be helping.

“The night before her AP Chemistry exam, she learned her father had an affair… with a 23-year-old prostitute.”  “The alcohol-consuming, poor Muslim family down the street with whom no sane member of society would want interact.”  Compared to the moving difficulties these students had faced, my mundane challenges seemed like they would fade into the background.

“This is confidence.”  The three-word-essay had me reeling for months on end.  How could I be unique without sounding gimmicky?

I needed to be remarkable, and I needed to stand out amongst thousands.

What could I do?

After weeks of drafts and phony essays, I realized what was most important.  I had been given an opportunity to show who I was.  I needed to show case every quality, both positive and negative- my determination, stubbornness, dry humor, indecisiveness, and even my weird, unorthodox way of thinking.  It had to be me- not the “perfect” student, but me.  No person is complete without his imperfections- and if my essay is supposed to represent me, it shouldn’t be perfect.  The perfect essay is an impossible myth- and if it ever existed, I imagine it would be quite boring.

I took this lesson to heart.  This essay may be unconventional, quirky, and a little weird, but so am I.  Millions of cross-outs, sloppily written drafts, and dead trees later, here I am.  Because of my unfazed mettle, I was able to use my failures as components to build my success.   The moral of the story?  This is me.  I’m weird, a little avant-garde, and definitely not perfect.  And I’d take that over perfection any day.

*change ‘intimidatingly’ to “with an intimidating glare”

Don’t do this. Meta-essays are a bad idea. Admissions essays should provide interesting insights into your personality. This does not provide any. I’m sorry, but if you submit this essay, and apply anywhere but a solely numbers-driven state school, you’re going to get burned.

Haha ok thanks for your honest answer! Good thing I have those countless other essays to work with.

You should never post your essay online. Please see the warnings and suggestions at the top of the forum. Fortunately this is not an essay you should use. This idea comes up a lot believe it or not. It is a bad idea and very tiresome. I think you will not find a good reception to this essay. The essay is demanding a bit more from you. Some true self reflection and digging a little deeper. This is very shallow and I honestly find it tiresome–I actually feel a bit chuffed you would make me read this. Sincerity trumps artifice.

…ok, thanks for your opinion. I’m glad that I got some good feedback- will definitely not be using this essay.

Do not submit this essay.

“The night before her AP Chemistry exam, she learned her father had an affair… with a 23-year-old prostitute.” “The alcohol-consuming, poor Muslim family down the street with whom no sane member of society would want interact.” Compared to the moving difficulties these students had faced, my mundane challenges seemed like they would fade into the background.”

This part looks like auto reject to me ^

^^yeah, I don’t know what that part was…being sarcastic about others troubles?

@jackrabbit14 lol that was from a satiric youtube video.

Well, at least you know now that authenticity trumps perfection, so hopefully, it will be easier to finish another. Plus, even if the topic itself fell flat, you have creativity and a very engaging writing style, in my opinion. If you can harness that well, you won’t have a problem standing out.

By this date, I’m sure you have decided to scrap this essay based on the good advice above but I just wanted to point out that you wasted too much verbiage on the quotes. Your 650 words are precious and few. In your next attempt, I would keep any quotes to a bare minimum if at all. Of course this is just my opinion so you are free to disregard it. I agree with on my way that you have a very good writing style. I’m sure your finished product will be excellent.

I really liked your writing style but you also have to remember that you will not write anything that the admissions officers have not seen. Unfortunately you won’t be the first applying to any school. So anything is going to seem cliche.

I know there are many experienced people on CC, but in the end, you really have to follow your own judgement. Make sure to get support from family and choose whatever essay you are most proud of.

Agreed with the rest that this is not a good essay but some other things to consider moving forward- your opening paragraph about how the college essay being a journey every hs student must make immediately struck me as being made from within a bubble. Many, many hs students in this country don’t go to college. This in addition to the line about the Muslim alcoholics doesn’t give me a good overall impression.

"This essay may be unconventional, quirky, and a little weird, but so am I. "
Uuuuuugh, sorry, but you never want to talk about yourself like this. The whole “I’m special, and not like the other teenagers! The ones who watch reality t.v.and shop at Abercrombie! I read, and know about avant-garde things!” shtick is so overused and so unappealing. Don’t tell them that you’re quirky and different. It always reminds me of that quote misattributed to Marilyn Monroe that’s like, “I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure…but if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure don’t deserve me at my best.”