I don’t think it’s the worst thing to room with her, particularly in a three roommate situation. You also seem like you may be fine for the summer. However, please seek help in the Fall. Think of it as preventative maintenance for the next time you struggle.
No offense @Sportsman88 but two clinically depressed students , one of whom has already attempted or threatened suicide is not a good situation. At the very least, the OP may take on a caregiver role and avoid her own issues or her grades may be compromised . That’s the best case scenario. I don’t think I need to describe the worst. As someone whose worked in mental health for years, it is not a good idea .
For what it’s worth, if you’re going to room with her, talk to a counselor (as advised). The reasons given here are good and there’s not point in repeating them. I’d add that often, when we try to solve things on our own, we end up using our friends or family as the “ear” that a counselor would be, but sometimes, the listener is a part of the problem. Alternatively, when your problems become the currency of the relationship, it can damage the relationship, and that’s also emotionally difficult. And of course, if it’s not just a matter needing someone to help you process your feelings but a matter of clinical depression, no friend – regardless of listening ability – can give you what you need.
Yeah I totally understand. What you guys are saying! @gardenstategal.
@carolinamom2boys I feel like it was wrong for me to mention the depression I’ve experienced in the past, because I honestly don’t think it’s an issue anymore. I also definitely will not take on a “caretaker” role or whatever, I never let personal issues get in the way of my grades, at least not consciously, and I’m not a very sympathetic person…I’m definitely not anyone’s shoulder to cry on. But fine, since it does seem like the right thing to do, I’ll seek counseling next semester.
Best of luck next semester
Why has no one suggested transferring? That situation seems like an absolute hell-hole.
@LBad96 Unfortunately this situation is not isolated to just one university, it happens at many. Also, the issues travel with the person if not addressed; they are not left behind . There may also be financial reasons that she can’t transfer. She is also studying a major that is not available at just any school. It was strongly suggested that OP change roommates, which would alleviate some of the problem, but at this point OP feels that it is unnecessary . Depression and other forms of mental illness begin to surface with this age group , and unfortunately if signs and symptoms are missed or ignored it can result in tragic circumstances . I bet if you looked at your school, you’d be able to find at least one suicide in its history. Unfortunately, it’s not isolated to one school.
I do not want to transfer at all! I love my school and have so many great friends, I’m doing research with the head of my department, have a pretty good gpa, and love being in Boston! I’m not going to let one month ruin my college experience. I still think my freshman year was pretty good!
DO seek out counselling, because this semester was really rough on you. Don’t wait - just to to “talk it out”, perhaps to discuss strategies wrt your roommate and her issues.
Learn how to use your free time and don’t overload again - take a balanced schedule, find activities/continue activities, get involved, and don’t hesitate to use your university’s counselling services. Really, they’re there for you (and you’re paying for them to be there for you.)
That one month was more stressful than anyone should have to handle, though. Are you sure you don’t want to at least explore the possibility of transferring?
Please consider this: You’re aiming to be an OT. Your clients will likely be dealing with light to severe trauma, physically and/or emotionally. You could invest in your skills, knowledge and empathy for those future clients by seeking counseling and processing your recent experiences now. It would be a gift for yourself. Make some time for it. You’ve had a lot on your plate this year. Take care.