<p>A friend of mine has some problems with her roommate, and hangs out in my room much more often than she is actually in her own. Normally, my roommate and I don’t have a problem with this. We’re pretty social people, and as long as our guests are respecting our rules, we enjoy having people come over. </p>
<p>I had most of the day off today and I REALLY wanted to write a paper that is due on Thursday. I can’t really concentrate with noise around, and so I was looking forward to the fact that my roommate would be gone all day and I would be able to work uninterrupted. My friend, fully aware that I was taking the day to work, pounded on my door until I opened it, and then came in with her laptop and made herself comfortable on my bed. I politely explained that I really needed to work, and she said that it was fine, she just wouldn’t talk to me. So now she’s sitting on my bed, playing really loud music, and trying to strike up conversation about the most irrelevent things. It usually wouldn’t bother me, but I HAVE to get this paper done. Her room is empty; her roommate is in class. She could easily go blast her music elsewhere, but she chooses to do it in here. I’ve dropped hints that I really prefer to work in silence and that I’d like to be alone, but she won’t leave. How do I get her out?</p>
<p>Go to the library. Problem solved.</p>
<p>Say, very directly, “Hey, I really need to be by myself right now so I can concentrate and get this done.”</p>
<p>I wasn’t asking for suggestions on where else I should go. I work better with my things around. I’d like to work in my room. I think I should be able to have privacy in my own room. That is the issue at hand.</p>
<p>Tell her to get out. It’s not that hard. Say, “I’m sorry to kick you out, but I really need to work can you go somewhere else?”</p>
<p>Tell her to get out. Bluntly. Don’t be mean, but be forceful. Don’t “drop hints.” Say it directly. This shouldn’t even be a problem. </p>
<p>If she takes offense, she can either suck it up or whine about it for a few days. If it destroys your friendship, then it wasn’t really a strong friendship to begin with, was it?</p>
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<p>Well when you can’t manage to bring yourself to tell your friend to get out so you can do homework in peace and are posting about it on an internet message board, what do you want me to say?</p>
<p>Gee, I wonder why the roommates don’t get along!</p>
<p>Kick her out nicely. If she doesn’t take the hint, kick her out not so nicely. </p>
<p>Next time don’t answer the door and let her bang until she gets the message. Surely it won’t take more than a few minutes and then it’s over.</p>
<p>You shouldn’t have answered the door, rookie mistake</p>
<p>It’s your room, so you have the right to kick her out.</p>
<p>Something among the lines of this should work:
“I really hate to say this, but I simply cannot do my work with any music in the background. You will have to come back some other time.”</p>
<p>A true friend will understand and leave. However, if it gets too bad, there are the authorities (eg. RA, RD, campus security, cops – use in that order).</p>
<p>A lot of people I know who can’t pick up on subtle hints actually appreciate being told things directly.</p>
<p>How about, “it’s time for you to go. I really need to get this done,” and stand up and open the door. Don’t apologize; just state clearly what you expect to happen.</p>
<p>Be blunt. And/or a ***** if necessary. Some people just don’t get it.</p>
<p>so how’d this all end?</p>
<p>Just tell her that you’re going to the library. She can’t talk there.</p>