My GC asked me out...

[candi1657]

<p>So, I return to my high school (even though it's not like I left it so long ago, just graduated this May), to catch up with some students and faculty. So I bumped into my guidance counselor, he grabbed me and gave me a hug and we began conversing. And then he said, "I'm so glad you graduated so I can touch you now." That caught me a bit off guard, but I continued talking with him nevertheless. During the break, he said he wants to take me out. Being the passive person that I am, I just gave him my e-mail as he requested and left.</p>

<p>Problem is, I promised several people that I would return to school during my time off and meet with them. I just want to avoid my GC, if at all possible, but I think it's hardly likely that I can escape his notice the entire time.</p>

<p>What do you think I should do?</p>

[iplayoboe]

<p>o goodness, that's really weird...
well the only advice I can offer is that you do go back and visit the people you promised to visit and if you happen to run into him tell him you have an appointment somewhere and you're really sorry but you have to go. If you are going to see someone, its technically not a lie, you do have somewhere else to be.
I hope he is at least a young GC, I would hate to think that he was old.... that would be even weirder.
best of luck!</p>

[usna_reject]

<p>Do you like him? Because if he was in his early twenties I'd probably go..</p>

[candi1657]

<p>He's in his early 50's and married with kids.</p>

[usna_reject]

<p>Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!</p>

[nosx]

<p>hahaha that is funny but wierd. Why dont you report him.</p>

[candi1657]

<p>Report him for what? I've graduated. I don't think he's technically doing anything wrong.</p>

[alukaszewicz]

<p>Maybe tell his wife?</p>

[slipstream99]

<p>Next time he sees you and "touches" you, just scream out at the top of your lungs "RAPE!" or "STOP! DON'T TOUCH ME YOU FREAK!" I'm pretty sure that would deter future incidents. If you're not brave enough to do that, you can just tell him that you don't feel comfortable with that type of a relationship with him. If you're still not brave enough to do that, just tell him you have appointments or have to go or can't talk right now and he'll probably get the idea. I still recommend the first course of action though.</p>

[iplayoboe]

<p>ewwwwwwwwwwwww
thats weeeeeeeeeeeird.
id go with the passive "appointments" unless he starts to become a problem. but if he does, afterwards, you get to return to Yale and be away from him anyway</p>

[sgiovinc1]

<p>Are you sure you are not reading something into this? But I am sure stranger things have happened in school settings and beyond! I once had my S's teacher come on to me. He was 10 years younger than I! I suppose I should have been flattered..but it did make for difficult parent/teacher conferences!</p>

[candi1657]

<p>Okay, I should point out that my GC and I are rather friendly and he has helped me through some rough times. I'm not going to cry, "Rape!" and put him in jeopardy of losing his job when he is technically doing nothing wrong. I'm a grown woman now and need to handle the situation as if we are on the same plane. I think the avoidance technique is worth a shot.</p>

<p>No, I am not reading anything more into the situation, to be more honest about the situation he was coming on to me a long time before I had graduated. My friends would even joke about it. I have been the victim of serious harassment before, but I wouldn't classify this as such. He's a reliable friend in many other ways. It's more of a nuisance than anything.</p>

[midwesterner]

<p>This is a common situation in real life. Your relationship has changed, and the GC is testing the new relationship. It doesn't sound to me as though he's done anything so awful; giving you a hug and asking you out (could he have meant for a cup of coffee?) are not crimes. Obviously, he's proud of your success, and wants to continue the relationship. It's up to you to determine the boundaries.</p>

<p>The truth is that you will encounter similar situations numerous times in your life. Think about ways to establish limits that will preserve everyone's dignity. If you don't want to hug someone, offer a handshake, quickly. If someone makes an inappropriate remark, find graceful ways of deferring the attention. (If a remark is really out-of-bounds, I let it hang there in an awkward pause, not saying anything, then change the subject to something pointedly neutral, like the weather!) </p>

<p>Don't give your e-mail to someone when you don't want to; ask for theirs, instead, and then you are the one in control. It's all a game, but you get to make the rules, and break them when YOU want to. There is series of columns online by karenceliafox on dating that I wish I had read as a young woman. You might enjoy reading them.</p>

[Serin]

<p>LOL</p>

<p>man</p>

[candi1657]

<p>Okay, it's becoming apparent that I shouldn't have posted this, because I'm only giving you a tiny section of a very, very long story that I don't wish to delve into in detail and I can see why certain, slightly off-base interpretations have been reached. It's not y'all's fault, it's mine, so sorry!</p>