A good lesson for the future: Don’t lie to a police officer, but you don’t have to answer! Just say “I decline to speak with you.” The right to remain silent is always there; it doesn’t just kick in when you get arrested.
Well, the consequences never end. DH told him this would follow him around. He wants to get an apartment next year with some friends, we approve and really like the student apartments he wants to live in. he brought the application home and just brought it to me, showing where it said “no criminal history” as a requirement. I told him all he could do is turn it in right away…there is nothing he can do. His only chance is that the attorney told DH that the charge is not recorded until a few hours before the hearing…which is the end of next week.
So, it looks like there is a good chance he might be denied and he’s so excited to have this apartment with these particular boys. I honestly don’t know what else he would do. All his other friends have already leased. i sure hope he’s learning this freaking lesson.
I’m sorry to hear that this particular apartment requires “no criminal history.”
People make mistakes. People make worse mistakes than this one.
Thanks…DH thinks they are just trying to weed out worse offenders, people others wouldn’t want to live around. He thinks there is more chance nothing will come of it. I hope he’s right.
It depends on the wording, but at this point I don’t think he has a criminal history. Only if he’s found guilty and it’s put on his record will it be any kind of problem.
He will be in a diversion program. He will pay a fine, go to an all day class and in a year if he behaves the charge is expunged. I don’t believe he pleads guilty or not guilty for the program. I hope you are right!
Agree with @1214mom . IMO criminal history means conviction or guilty plea in a court of law. Unless and until one of those happens, I think he can truthfully answer No to that question.
If there’s no plea in this program, then there’s no criminal history. Check with your atty.
Someone close to me was in a diversion program. Never arrested, never charged with and found guilty of a crime. Seems like a program for good kids who do slightly stupid things. She even got a security clearance after.
Just checking in to see how you and your son are doing - been thinking about you.
Thanks for asking! He was accepted into the university. He had to write an essay explaining what happened. It didn’t hurt he got great grades at the CC, He is in the diversion program, had to pay the fine himself. Had to go yo a Saturday class. I hope he learned his lesson, and I know is so grateful to be let in. He’s doing well and very happy. We have moved on. You know, sometimes I wonder if there is a silver lining in all this. Who knows how far down this path he would have walked, other things he would have experimented with? To see how it could have so easily just all slipped away may have been a great wake up call. I hope so!
@conmama Best wishes for future success for your son. I just read all of this over coffee this morning and am so impressed with you, your DH, and, especially, your son! He really stepped up and owned his mistakes—he’s growing up to be a fine man! Equally impressive is the excellent advice given to you by fellow CC members. My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I, also, was the beneficiary of the collective wisdom and experience of CC “friends”. It’s difficult to see the light when you’re mired in anxiety and emotion, and those cyber shoulders are appreciated more than words can convey.
Congratulations!
I am happy things turned out ok for you and for your son. I’m sure it was a stressful time. Hopefully he did learn a big lesson.
Yes, I want to give a big shout out to my fellow CCer’s who helped me through this, calmed me down and gave outstanding advice. And thanks you to those who PMed me with their own stories! You guys are great.
kids in college don’t always follow rules. if colleges kicked out every kid that broke a rule they’d go broke. just funny what some schools allow outright to begin with and then have some minor rules to go along with it. glad your son is staying in school. sounds like a good boy
Sorry for your pain. Agree with getting a lawyer.
But can’t you say, “Sir, I respectfully choose not to answer, and respectfully deny consent to a search”?
The fifth amendment is there for a reason.
I only wish he knew he could have done that. Maybe. Everything turned out ok, but I still am glad he may have learned a lesson.
they probably signed an agreement stating no drugs or weapons and knowledge of regular searches. I believe both our kids did at their schools
The sooner we decriminalize marijuana, the better. It’s a monumental waste of time and resources, not to mention human life, to treat it the way we do heroin or other drugs. I don’t think pot belongs in a college dorm, but people who use it are not criminals and they shouldn’t be treated as such.