My husband had a convulsion yesterday

I keep a list in the Notes app on my phone; I can add things right when I think of them and just open it at my appointment.

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We put notes on our phone’s electronic calendar, on the date that the appointment will be, so it’s right there when we look at the calendar. It works for us.

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I know this isn’t up to discussion but I sort of feel like when someone comes to CC with a post about a very personal question/situation, while it makes sense to share SOME personal experience, there is a line between sharing and making the OP feel awkward about the sharing he/she did. Or making them feel like they don’t have the “ideal” situation.

If @conmama is still reading I hope that your H has had a health positive week.

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I think and believe we all think that @conmama did awesome with the circumstances in which she found herself. Sorry if we are going off track.

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Yes - awesome job in a difficult situation. And we’ll be hoping for a good resolution… where health is OK, but perhaps with a bit of medical help that confirms.

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I don’t think anyone is implying that her situation isn’t ideal or handled perfectly. What I love is it opens a topic that many of us have dealt with as both the partner and as the maybe sick person.

We all know dealing with personalities of our family and loved ones is much more difficult than we would like.

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I made one mention because in my eyes, I was starting to be uncomfortable for the OP -who shared something very personal - due to some comments. I won’t elaborate anymore but would say the old “we can agree to disagree”.

I won’t debate my comment. It was with concern and intention for the OP.

Carry on. :zipper_mouth_face:

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I am still following this thread and very thankful that everyone answers and shares. I truly am! I know we come with our suggestions and opinions based on our own personalities of ourselves, our partners and relationships, and those opinions come from a good place within yourselves, very caring. So I thank you all.

Saying that, I’d also like to thank you @abasket in being able to sense when things might seem uncomfortable and expressing that concern, as I felt a bit lacking as a wife reading some posts.

I have a very pragmatic, smart, but very private husband. He would never be happy with me going over his head, or trying to take over his health issues while he is more than capable of doing so himself. It would cause issues in my marriage. But everyone does raise great points about naming each other someone who can speak with health care professionals and I will bring that up with him.

He is doing better now, being a week since the beginning of his illness on TG. His already scheduled doc appt is at the end of the month and he has no plans on calling before then. I’m not thrilled with that decision, but it’s his health and his life. I do not say that dismissively. If he were in the hospital, or this was an ongoing issue, I would be more aggressive and stubborn in my stance. FWIW, I think it was a fainting episode brought on by taking too many medications (including my prescription narcotic), dehydration and being hot. After reading the symptoms of that (brought to my attention here), and an actual seizure, it did point more towards the former. That is why I’m not taking more of a stance. I agree with him, I’m just not telling him that.

so, that’s it for now. Nothing to tell until the end of the month.

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@conmama — you are a supportive spouse, doing your best in a challenging situation. I’m very glad your H will be seeing his provider later this month and also glad he continues to improve!

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Yeah, you sure can’t force people to do things they don’t want to. No amount of lecturing, cajoling, convincing, evidence, or reason will work sometimes. It’s got to be frustrating, that even if you do agree, that he won’t even try to do something as minor as try to move up his appointment, but I am completely familiar with running into a brick wall. Sometimes that’s the only thing you can do is let it go.

I have a friend whose husband refuses to go to the doctor for any reason. Infection, illness, anything except seeing the flight doctor twice a year for a few minutes (required). One time during the required EKG, the nurse told him she thought he was having a heart attack right then, and should go to the emergency room (he didn’t). She finally made peace with this, and decided she had to let it go, nothing she could do, it was causing her too much anguish. He was a really nice guy and I hope he had a change of heart.

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I think many of these posts are not allowing for the possibility that the husband is making a wise decision here. He has an appointment and enough time will have elapsed to determine if this was a one time event due to med combinations and fever, or something that needs the slew of tests that would no doubt be ordered with a more urgent appointment. He is improving.

And @conma is showing admirable trust and support for her spouse. She is actually on board for now. Her spouse is “wise” and “pragmatic” and would probably seek aggressive help if it were needed.

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Eh, she said “smart”, not “wise”, I believe. A wise man would listen to his wife. Always. At least that’s what I tell my husband. :rofl:

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My H’s new geriatrican’s office called me this morning to remind me that next week, we will be having a 1st visit that will last 2 hours and I am supposed to be there for the entire 2 hours with H. I indicated that we will both be there and thanked them for their call. They said they’ll call again the day before the visit to remind us again. They are trying very hard for me and H to be prepared.

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I don’t second guess my H’s decisions when it comes to his health, nor does he second guess mine. But if something bad happened, we would want to be able to talk to doctors about the situation. Allowing each other (and perhaps a child, relative or friend) the ability to speak to a doctor about your health issues protects you in case something unexpected happens. It’s those situations that we hope never arise that make it an important step to take (one we hope we’ll never have to use).

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@busdriver11 not sure where I got the “wise.” Smart and pragmatic. Sloppy. Edited.

I am taking an end of life class and am glad I have already designated a proxy who can speak for me: my “wise” daughter!

It seems there is a good plan. PCP by the end of the month. Waiting to see if all is well or if there is a reoccurrence. Fingers crossed.

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