<p>i need help improving it… and feedback will be appreciated… if you have the time and can help me, please pm me…
thanks.</p>
<p>I could help. PM it.</p>
<p>ill help if u need it.</p>
<p>i’ll try to help, pm</p>
<p>i’ll help if you PM me too:)</p>
<p>im doing an essay on the same topic 
im talking about my grandpa. u can PM me ures if u want to</p>