She wants me to do it online and stay in the community living in her house. But she only lets me live at home if I eat what she wants me too, dress how she wants, etc. I’d rather be broke and living away from her than living the freaky religious life she wants for me. Right now, I have to at least pretend to be religious because I’m dependent on her, but the second I can get away, I want to.
The “why” is that she wants me to stay religious. I live in an Orthodox Jewish community.
Thank you! I’ll check it out.
I’m sending you a DM. Look for green envelope top right in a few minutes.
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I think that it is going to be your best financial option, given that you want to live on campus. You will be eligible to borrow $5500 in your first year on a federal loan, which will leave you about $8500 to come up with in addition from your own earnings. There will be additional miscellaneous expenses simply for books, daily expenses, pocket money, etc. perhaps you can get an on campus job.
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I don’t see a green envelope
Talk to the Hillels /Chabads if they are at your colleges. They can help. You won’t be the first orthodox Jew going to college. Lol. I would make that connection first. Have the Rabbi talk to your mother about what an Orthodox Jews experience looks like at college. Also, they will have many students for you and her to talk to. I would think this would help you in your choice of colleges. Many young Orthodox are more “Modern” orthodox. Would that be acceptable?
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Usually, I don’t like when folks suggest the military, but I’m suggesting the military. You don’t need anyone’s permission or funding to do that. There is a program where you can get funding for college after you complete your commitment. I’m sure it would be a huge culture shock for you though. I apologize if the suggestion is culturally inappropriate.
I believe that there are two free but highly competitive colleges in the U.S. Berea and Deep Springs. I doubt either has a nursing program though.
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Ok, click on your avatar & look for the envelope symbol in the dropdown
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No clue if OP qualifies (monetarily).
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Thanks for the advice, but I doubt that would work as I have several mental health disorders. (I’ve been doing way better recently, but I don’t think they would take me)
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I don’t think she’d approve of me being Modern Orthodox. Anyway, I don’t want to be orthodox at all anymore.
I get it. I get where you’re going. I assume your in a Yeshiva. Your friends don’t want college. But your mother works. She’s at least willing to go on a school tour with you. She will ask embarrassing questions about how they handle Shabbat, Kosher food etc and when the tour guide can’t answer those questions she will say see. I told you you won’t continue your religion.
This is why I said talk to a Chabad Rabbi first. Head off those questions.
Also since you mentioned it. Does your having mental health issues give her more of a reluctants for you going away to college?
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I don’t think the mental health issues really make a difference to her. I’m pretty good with managing them. Also, I’m a girl so I’m in a Beis Yakkov highschool, but my brothers are all in yeshiva.
I think it’s best to talk to your school leadership and ask for assistance.
This is good advice, although not all campuses have a Chabad. If they do, the rabbi is probably familiar with these kinds of questions. Maybe worth setting up a meeting with the rabbi and parent as well on the same day as the tour, if possible.
Edit: even if they don’t have a Chabad, they may still have a resident or associated rabbi, or a Chabad or rabbi at another college that is a resource for students of nearby colleges too.
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All three the student mentioned - Miami, Ohio State, Kent State - have a chabad. So does UC and Ohio U. Some may not be staffed though - Miami appears student run but I could be wrong.
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I just googled and these all have Chabad on campus.
Edit: I see posted already
Another edit: to add, for your info if not necessary for your mom to know, Chabad on campus generally attracts a wide range of Jews, not just orthodox. As you will see for example from the pic of Ohio U Chabad with a number of girls in jeans.
That is why I said Hillel or Chabad but yes. This is exactly what I was getting to. Making the mother comfortable is key. Some of the schools she mentioned have Shabbat services.
Growing up Frum is tough when you want to move on for more education. I wonder if going to a school like Brandeis that has a larger Orthodox student body might be an alternative?
Thing is, when I get to college I don’t want to be orthodox anymore. I’ve tried telling my mom that I don’t plan on being religious but either she’s in denial or she’s just thinking I’ll grow up.