<p>Topic: Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences?</p>
<p>The nineteenth century moralists view was that every person in his life makes different choices, actions and decisions; and then, he will get his payment for them. Good and bad choices have got equal chances to have bad consequences. This notion is supported by several examples from history.</p>
<p>Napoleon Bonaparte was a military and political leader of France and Emperor of the French as Napoleon I, whose actions shaped European politics in the early 19th century. According to many scientists, his idea was to combine whole Europe to one indivisible union. This idea is great for several factors: power, economy and development and that is why most critics admire him for this idea, because only now his aim, to aggregate Europe has been realized, after many hundred years; however, other historians consider him as despot, because many people have lost their lives in process. Although a lot of people were dead and prodigious damage was made to every country he captured, his hope to live in European Union was broken. Thus, here we see that even good decision may cause bad consequences. In this example, good decision is to aggregate Europe into one union and bad consequences are peoples death and enormous damage for all possible areas.</p>
<p>Alexander Macendoski is another similar example. He was aimed to live in one big country. Thats why he began war and captured more than half of surface area on the earth. Again, its good for power, because, as Russian immigrant, K. Malinovkiy, said Power is in union and development of humanity; however it cost too much for people, and, again, such adulation didnt conclude with fortune. Therefore, we can again judge that good idea with great encouragement could cause terrible things.</p>
<p>After careful analysis of B.Napoleons idea to create European Union in 19th century and A.Macendockis aim to live in powerful country, one could see that all decisions could have consequences, even good ones.</p>
<p>can you leave more comprehensive feedback ? Only 7/12…it’s not good. One guy posted short essay, 2 times shorter than mine and you gave 9/12…nononono</p>
<p>Your ending is kind of abrupt and too short, in my opinion. Try to make it 2-3 sentences and try to throw in a little analogy/metaphor <em>if possible</em>. Also, you said all decisions have ‘consequences’ at the end, but isn’t the topic about ‘negative’ consequences? </p>
<p>Also, there are a lot of commas. Try to make the writing ‘flow’ a little more, if that makes sense. Don’t seem forced. Try to cut out the fanciful language with commas, etc. and cut to the chase. You know what I mean? Try to have a couple sentences describe what happened, then have a couple to describe how it validates your point of view.</p>
<p>Also, have transition sentences that flow a little better. ‘Alexander Macendoski is another similar example’, is not a great transition. Try to say something like 'Just as ______ , Alexander Macendoski __________ ."</p>
<p>Sorry, I’m not an expert but that is what I noticed after a short skim. I’ll let others take over but if no one responds I’ll try to help. I don’t consider myself an expert so I don’t want to give a grade.</p>
<p>You are really improving on your essays and your hard work is helping you. Make sure that you answer the topic question completely. You gave two examples of good choices that had bad consequences, but you didn’t give a bad choice with bad consequences example.</p>
<p>Do you have the blue book or a practice test? They give you sample pages for the essay and you can use them to see how long your essay is. Many people feel you need to write at least 1 1/2 pages to get a high score.</p>
