my nyu essay

<p>Matthew Heintz</p>

<pre><code>Hundreds of people crowded in the room, paying their last respects to this great man. A man everyone loved and respected, a man who had overcome so much, had died. But he was more than just a man to me, he was my grandfather. This man may have perished from this earth but the morals and values he instilled upon me and others, and the happiness he brought so many, are still alive today.

I spent nearly every weekend of my childhood hearing his stories, witnessing his acts of kindness, and seeing the love and respect people showed him. Even from a young age he did more than was required of him, winning a Bronze Star in World War 2. Rising above the call of duty was something he did outside of war also. He worked long hours, yet always found time for his family and the community. He ran the Little League Baseball program for decades, did endless charity work for his church, and even took care of his neighbor’s daughter for nearly two years when her mother had a drug addiction. He was an all around good guy: if he saw an injured animal in the street, he would bring it the veterinarian and pay for the treatment; if he saw a homeless person in need of money, he’d give them money without a thought.
</code></pre>

<p>In his mid-sixties he had a devastating heart attack and was given less than a ten percent chance to live. Not only did he live, he also continued to play softball and manage little league. During his late winter years, he developed numerous circulatory problems that caused the amputation of his left leg. Along with this he had been developing arthritis since his fifties, and by this time his fingers had contorted to impossible positions and caused him excruciating pain. Not to mention, he also had poor kidneys, and had to endure hours and hour of dialysis a week. Yet, throughout all this, he remained an optimistic person. In this crippled state, he was still an active member of the community. Wheel-chaired bound and having near-inoperable fingers, he still was active member of his church, still served on the chair of little league, and made all family and social appearances.<br>
He was an intelligent man, and could’ve probably gone great places and accumulated great wealth; however, this was not what was important to him. He’d rather experience the joy of helping a friend in need, instead of buying that big screen television. He knew what was important in life; being nice and respectful to your fellow man. Money cannot buy happiness, but being loved by the whole community sure does. He showed me this often ignored truth through his many stories and through the many experiences we shared. He taught me to always be kind and benevolent towards all and to always do what is right. Being wealthy is a great goal, but not if you have no one to enjoy it with. He illustrated that I should never give up, no matter what curveballs life gives me. Throughout all the challenges and obstacles life threw his way, he remained a benefactor to his friends, family and community. Throughout the many difficulties he encountered and pain he suffered, he was always upbeat.
If it were not for him, I would probably not be the person I am today. I would not know how to overcome and deal with the many hurdles in life, be respectful to people, nor have a positive outlook throughout it all. I would be the average misguided intellectual, looking to get rich at any way possible, not respecting my friends and family, and not realizing how to find true happiness. As Samuel Johnson once stated "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good," and by this measure my grandfather was a giant. </p>

<p>i rewrote this all tonight so tell me any structural, grammatical, thematic, spelling errors i should fix</p>

<p>thanx for the help in advance!</p>

<p>I'm not sure about the subject matter. It seems like it might be something that is overdone in essays. It's nice that you're writing an essay as a tribute to what a great man you gradfather was and I'm sure NYU will feel the same way, but whether they like it or not is a different story. I've been talking to a lot of admissions representatives and directors from different schools and one of them even said that one of the subject matters that he hates to read in an essay is a biography of another person, unless you can do something completely and utterly original and creative with it. If you feel confident with the essay though, go for it. Just my two cents...</p>

<p>What was the essay prompt? (for all I know it was to describe an inspirational person in your life, or something of that sort. In this case, sorry.)</p>

<p>person place or event that has influenced you and made u the person u are</p>

<p>I think writing about an important influence is great. But, I would emphasize the impact the person had on YOU. Why are you different? What did you learn?</p>

<p>i talked about that in the 5th paragraph and had the 4th paragraph lead into the 5th</p>

<p>Matthew Heintz</p>

<pre><code>Hundreds of people crowded in the room, paying their last respects to this great man. A man everyone loved and respected, a man who had overcome so much, had passed gently into the night. But he was more than just a man to me, he was my grandfather. This man may have perished from this earth, but the morals and values he instilled upon me and others, and the happiness he brought so many, are still alive today.

I spent nearly every weekend of my childhood hearing his stories, witnessing his acts of kindness, and seeing the love and respect people showed him. Even from a young age he did more than was required of him, winning a Bronze Star in World War 2. Rising above the call of duty was something he did outside of war also. He worked long hours, yet always found time for his family and the community. He ran the Little League Baseball program for decades, did endless charity work for his church, and even took care of his neighbor’s daughter for nearly two years when her mother had a drug addiction. He was an all around good guy: if he saw an injured animal in the street, he would bring it the veterinarian and pay for the treatment; if he saw a homeless person in need of money, he’d give them money without a thought.
</code></pre>

<p>In his mid-sixties he had a devastating heart attack and was given less than a ten percent chance to live. Not only did he live, he also continued to play softball and manage little league. During his late winter years, he developed numerous circulatory problems that caused the amputation of his left leg. Along with this he had been developing arthritis since his fifties, and by this time his fingers had contorted to impossible positions and caused him excruciating pain. Not to mention, he also had poor kidneys, and had to endure hours and hour of dialysis a week. Yet, throughout all this, he remained an optimistic person. In this crippled state, he was still an active member of the community. Wheel-chair bound and having near-inoperable fingers, he was still an active member of his church, still served on the chair of little league, and made all family and social appearances.<br>
He was an intelligent man, and could’ve probably gone great places and accumulated great wealth; however, this was not what was important to him. He’d rather experience the joy of helping a friend in need, instead of buying that big screen television. He knew what was important in life; being nice and respectful to your fellow man. Money cannot buy happiness, but being loved by the whole community sure does. He showed me this often ignored truth through his many stories and through the many experiences we shared. He taught me to always be kind and benevolent towards all and to always do what is right. Being wealthy is a great goal, but not if you have no one to enjoy it with. He illustrated that I should never give up, no matter what curveballs life gives me. Throughout all the challenges and obstacles life threw his way, he remained a benefactor to his friends, family and community. Throughout the many difficulties he encountered and pain he suffered, he was always upbeat.
If it were not for him, I would probably not be the person I am today. I would not know how to overcome and deal with the many hurdles in life, be respectful to people, nor have a positive outlook throughout it all. I would be the average misguided intellectual, looking to get rich at any way possible, not respecting my friends and family, and not realizing how to find true happiness. As Samuel Johnson once stated, "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good," and by this measure my grandfather was a giant. </p>

<p>slight changes</p>

<p>too...depressing!</p>

<p>When you post it again, please put space lines between paragraphs! I just can't read this tiny text in big ugly blocks!</p>