<p>I don’t know if this topic is even appropriate, but I really need some advice.
My family moved a year ago to be near my school. The house is smaller and horrid with the utilities not even working. I don’t know if moving caused this, but my parents are fighting more. Also, the economy is causing my dad to work. We had to cancel out vacation because of family issues. This caused my mom to be sad. She tried to book another vacation, to help her lesson the stress, but we cant afford it. She is angry at my dad for working so much. Since she doesn’t have a job, she just does house work and watch tv. They have been married for 20 years. She just told me that she doesn’t know why she married him. Is it possible that she doesn’t love him? Could they divorce? How can I fix this? Maybe I should spend more time with her? I am willing for any advice.</p>
<p>You sound like a caring person to post this concern here.</p>
<p>It sounds like your parents are very stressed and also are depressed. In itself, moving causes a lot of stress. Apparently, though, there also are financial problems-- causing more stress and depression. Your dad’s having to work also is a stress.</p>
<p>You can’t fix what’s going on since the problems aren’t do to you. But there are some things that you can do that would make things easier. </p>
<p>Do what you can to help your mom around the house. If while doing this, you can encourage her to do something fun herself – go to the movies, go visit a friend-- that also may help lift her mood. For instance, perhaps you could volunteer to make dinner one night a week, and suggest that your mom go do something with a friend. Or maybe you could make dinner for your parents, and leave, allowing them a quiet few hours alone which might give them a chance to reconnect.</p>
<p>It also may boost their moods if you let them know that you appreciate the sacrifice that they’ve made to live in a less desireable house to move closer to your school.</p>
<p>And not complaining about the “horrid” house also may help boost everyone’s mood as would your doing your best to be frugal.</p>
<p>I know this sounds simple, but could you ask your Mom to go for a walk with you? Sitting inside watching tv and doing housework can be very depressing. Getting some fresh air and a little bit of exercise might help lift her mood.</p>
<p>Your mom should consider finding a job that she likes. Doing house work, cooking dinner and waiting for husband coming home every day, it sounds absolutely boring. If she goes to work and has her social life, she will be much happier and understand your dad better; also she will has less time complaining.</p>
<p>You cannot “fix this,” because you are not the cause.</p>
<p>But you can be the kind, caring person you seem to be, following some of the advice above: be pleasant, invite your mother for a walk, tell your parents that you love and appreciate them.</p>
<p>None of that will “fix” the underlying problem, but it is the right thing to do.</p>
<p>Maybe if your mom got a partime job to earn a little extra income it might help all things around. It gets her out of the house, helps her make friends in a new town and gives her a little self esteem to be contributing financially to the household. You sound like a very nice person and your parents should be very proud of you. You cannot fix this, because you are not the cause. Your parents have to fix this and t has to come from them. Best of luck.</p>
It seems to me that a father who is willing to forego vacation and work extra hard to support his family when they most need it, while providing so that the mom can stay at home and not have to have a job if she wishes, is illustrating one of the reasons your mom might have married him in the first place. Maybe she needs a gentle reminder.</p>
<p>How can I fix this? - You cannot. It is between your parents. Your Mom have mentioned it to you out of despair. She cannot possibly think that you can help. She will not divorce your dad, she does not have an income. If she worked, her and family situation would have been soo much better.
But it is not the case. I would advise to stay neatral and try not to do anything. It is not easy, but it is in your best interest.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your caring and thoughtful responses. My mother was just temporarily angry. She and my dad are on good terms. She was just frustrated. She laughed at the notion when I confronted her about what she said. She was just temporarily angry. She appreciates the chores that I have been doing. She assured me that she truly loves my dad. They have been more affectionate around each other. Sometimes parents just say things that they don’t mean and I think it was just one of those moments. </p>
<p>Again thank you for the overwhelming support and kindness</p>
<p>You sounds like a caring, sensitive person, which is why you were so attuned to and concerned about your parents. Glad to hear that despite the stress that they are under, things with their marriage seem OK.</p>