<p>I’m entering freshman and I am going to school that was my initial top choice.
I am really happy and can’t wait to move in…
However, I’m having the worst summer in my life so far.</p>
<p>My parents, who actually doesn’t like my school of choice, are really worried about me going to college like any typical parents do…but maybe too much…</p>
<p>They think I’m going to fail in everything and end up regretting my choice of not going to state school which is only 5 min away from my home.</p>
<p>My dad, who’s biochem prof., already gave me some biology and chemistry textbooks so I can study for my bio&chem freshman classess…</p>
<p>I have been really busy+lazy and only read through like 8 chapters…
today, my parents and I argued so much about how I am so slow in readings,
which leads them to think that I will not end up being successful academically because I am so poor reader.
Everyday, we argue over my future college life… how I would be taking summer courses because I would get c’s and d’s and how I would not end up going to grad school because my GPA would be low…etc.</p>
<p>I have been saying that I would be working hard when I go to college
and promised them that I will finish reading half of my textbooks,
and my dad would quiz me so I actually remember stuff…
but still, they complain about my choice of college</p>
<p>I never had these kinds of arguments in my life before…
they weren’t this concerned about my academics this much before…
they know that I am a hard worker and kind of perfectionist when coming to studying… I don’t want to waste rest of my summer arguing with my parents… I actually want to make more happy memories before I leave </p>
<p>How can I really convince my parents that I will be okay? that I’ll be doing my work and be fine, even I’m far away from home?</p>
<p>The best way to convince them is to tough it out for the rest of the summer, then go to college and succeed just like you think you will. If you come back to visit in November with good grades and a pulled together life in college, they will respect you for being able to do college on your own. Until then, it doesn’t really seem like there is much you can do to chang their minds.</p>
<p>This kind of thing is a reason why i’m one of those folks who want to go to college as far away as possible. Honestly, family is soo overrated at least if you have friends…</p>
<p>I think your parents should be reading a few books of their own. Are your grandparents still living so you can find out if Dad hit the books the summer before he started college?</p>
<p>There are books out there for parents who are a bit uncomfortable about sending their kids off to college. I recommend a book called “Letting Go: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding the College Years.”</p>
<p>Tell them that most students don’t study before school starts. Also tell them that they need to have confidence in you because it’s hard to succeed when you constantly have someone telling you that you can’t do it. When you get to college, do your best to prove them wrong. I think that they are just wanting you to stay at home because they aren’t ready for you to leave.</p>
<p>They are only being paranoid because their beloved child is finally going to college. Tell them you understand their issues and problems and where they’re coming from, but reassure them that you will be fine by establishing some guidelines, like promising to call every week and giving them updates on college life and grades.</p>
<p>You can tell them as many times as you want, but the real convincing will happen once you’re in college. Like most people have said, I’m also pretty damn sure that you’ll do fine in college. I think your parents are just upset they won’t see you around anymore (only for like what? a few months?). If you’re the first kid to go to college, I’m pretty sure that explains their anxiety. I would just try and shrug it off till college starts. Then you can prove to them just how well you will be in college.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are going through this with your parents. It must be putting you under a lot of stress. Your parents are totally wrong in their attitude toward your upcoming Freshman year. Parents are supposed to be supportive and encouraging. The more validation and attention your parents give to negative outcomes, the more likely they will occur. If they are positive about your upcoming school year, the more likely you will succeed. Ask them what their intention is in making these dire predictions. Are they hoping you will fail so they can be right about where you should have gone to school? If so, then they are putting their being right above what is best for you. You need to confront this issue with them and stand your ground. It may not be an easy task, but it is one of many growing up experiences you will have now that you are becoming more independent and have more responsibility for yourself. Standing up for yourself and what you believe to be right is an important lesson.</p>
<p>I wish you the very best in the year ahead and all the success in the world. I can tell that you will rise above this situation and have a great freshman year.</p>
<p>Wow…thank you all of you!
great advices…
my parents want me to transfer to state school or something
I should talk to my parents about all these again
but I hope it works out okay…
if not, oh well…I just need to return home with really good grades that they would be happy with
Again, thanks!!</p>
<p>“Honestly, family is soo overrated at least if you have friends”</p>
<p>I have to agree with this to a point. I have received so much more advice and inspiration from non-family members.</p>
<p>It is sad that your parents are telling you can’t do something before you try. Just remember, you don’t have to prove anything to your parents, you only have to prove things to yourself. You set your own goals and don’t worry what your parents have to say.</p>
<p>Some parents aren’t worth keeping contact with after you move out. At some point you realize that your parents are real people with real faults and sometimes those faults just aren’t worth dealing with. You’re probably a mother and hopefully you’re a good mother, and a loving, supporting family is more valuable than anything, but if a family environment is toxic (not that this one is, just tough it out, they’re just being worried parents) you owe them nothing beyond doing better with your kids.</p>
<p>I honestly do not think that you should feel bad about reading slow. I am the slowest reader ever (besides a teacher who was the same kind of studier as I am) because although I read super slow I retain waaay more information than my classmates on tests. I can read fast if I want to like other people but I find that next to nothing will stick if I do, so yeah don’t sweat slow reading if it helps you remember better because that’s what matters I believe in the end</p>
<p>OP: Wow. I can relate SO much to your current situation… However, some key differences: my parents aren’t educated and are very, VERY traditional (see previous posts). My parents don’t want me living in a dorm with other people, and yet they don’t want to spend tons of money buying me a single-room apartment. They want me to go to a single-sex school, but not one with any “lesbians.” They don’t want me to be around shady people, but I can’t live with my longtime boyfriend, because that will “ruin my name”. Ahh!!!</p>
<p>Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on a tangent… Very irritating to have conservative, traditional parents…</p>
<p>Anyway, I think you will succeed… And if you do (you will), you will have proved them wrong! I sincerely wish you the best of luck. I hope your parents will give you some room to breathe when you head out.</p>
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