My parents care too much about prestige.

Parents Forum
1

<p>I’m currently faced with a problem. My parents basically only want me to apply to colleges that they consider to be “good”, even though I need safeties that will give me a good amount of merit aid since I don’t qualify for need-based aid at most schools, due to my status as a Canadian citizen. I’ve applied for a green card, but I have yet to receive it. As of now I am still considered an international student, and until I actually get my green card, I realize that I’m being held to a completely different standard. Among my safety schools is Northeastern, which I’ve heard gives a very generous amount of merit aid to deserving candidates regardless of citizenship, particularly to those who are academically competitive. It’s also located in Boston, which is a huge plus for me. But neither of my parents realize this.</p>

<p>Long story short, I got told off for having sent in an application on the grounds that Northeastern was a “bad school” (direct quote). What should I do to convince them that Northeastern is not a bad choice at all? My stats are well above average (3.8 unweighted cumulative GPA and 2350 SAT), but even so, I know I can’t count on being accepted to any of the Ivies or Stanford, which my parents really want me to go to.</p>

2

<p>There are many schools that both you and your parents could agree upon so what is the problem. Since you are applying to MIT,Stanford, Harvard and other top 20 schools don’t you think you could have selected schools that your parents would be happy to pay tuition for? It sounds like you are looking for affirmation regarding your parents idea of an appropriate school for you. Northeastern is a fine school and many students would be very excited to attend, however, if your dream is to attend MIT, Harvard or Standford than you will probably be disappointed if you do not gain admission to these schools. If that happened you would get over it, and learn to enjoy the school you attend. Pick schools that you would be happy to attend and that your parents would be happy to pay tuition for. Your parents should come down off of their cloud and realize that they are creating a prestige whore that will think she is better than others just because she attends a “better” school. Its not a great way to go through life.</p>

3

<p>There is a very long way between the Ivies and Northeasteen. Now it may be that your parents don’t understand how competitive admissions are today and the need for solid safeties, in which case you do need to educate them. Or it may be that they wd like more well known schools as safeties, and you may be able to find some. Or use a Canadian uni as a safety, much cheaper too.</p>

4

<p>Perhaps they’re not interested as much in prestige as in seeing you develop to your maximum by being in a challenging environment. Safeties are important, but with your stats some pretty good schools could be safeties. Such as McGill perhaps?</p>

5

<p>*Long story short, I got told off for having sent in an application on the grounds that Northeastern was a “bad school” (direct quote). What should I do to convince them that Northeastern is not a bad choice at all? My stats are well above average (3.8 unweighted cumulative GPA and 2350 SAT), but even so, I know I can’t count on being accepted to any of the Ivies or Stanford, which my parents really want me to go to.
fledgling is offline *</p>

<p>there’s no point in arguing with them now. You’ve sent the app, that’s great. If you end up not needing it then “no harm, no foul.” If you end up needing it, then your efforts will be shown to have been the wise decision.</p>

<p>*I know I can’t count on being accepted to any of the Ivies or Stanford, which my parents really want me to go to. *</p>

<p>I don’t know what your financial situation is, but if you do get into an ivy and it expects you to pay more than your parents are willing to pay, then again, your safety will have been a good choice.</p>

<p>Again, I would NOT argue with them about safeties. They’re being short-sighted. Yes, you may end not needing them. BUT…what if you DO???</p>

<p>*Among my safety schools is Northeastern, which I’ve heard gives a very generous amount of merit aid to deserving candidates regardless of citizenship, *</p>

<p>Northeastern’s merit is competitive, not assured. Obviously, your stats are high enough, but the school also considers ECs, leadership, community service, etc. And, considering the region, NE probably gets lots of safety apps from high stats kids.</p>

<p>**Be careful with what you hear about “great merit.” Everyone has their own opinion about what great merit is. ** The school costs $50k. The people who say that may think a $60k scholarship is “great,” but that’s only $15k per year…you’d still have to pay the other $35k. </p>

<p>What is your situation? How much can your parents pay? If they can only pay - say $15k per year, then you’re going to need at least a “free tuition” scholarship. </p>

<p>If you need a good amount of money for college, then you need to apply to a school that will give you ASSURED HUGE merit for your stats.</p>

6

<p>Do you have enough money to pay for some college applications yourself? I would leave them out of the process and apply to some safeties on your own. Apply to a couple schools they want to appease them. (They can pay the application fees for those ones!) If you are only accepted to a so-called “bad school”, I’ll bet they will change their tune quickly.</p>

7

<p>I smell Asian Immigrant Parents here.</p>

<p>If so, there is very little you can do about their notion of what is acceptable and what isn’t. They have heard of a certain colleges/universities, and so they think that those are the only ones that truly count. If you want to put anything else on your list (and you do indeed need admissions safeties if not financial safeties), you need to get help from an adult whose judgment they respect. That person may be able to help them understand your options better. Notice that I wrote “may”. </p>

<p>Since you are Canadian, you should talk with your parents about McGill, U of Toronto, and U of BC which are all considered “World Class”.</p>

8

<p>Listen to M2CK (post # 5) She gave you very good advice. There is no reason to argue with your paretns now that the app to NE is in. It may not be the case that your parents only care about prestige. It may be that they care about you and they know that too much of the world only cares about prestige. Also, with a 2350, you may be competitive to a lot of top schools. You will either get financial aid or not. You do not need to lose sleep over all of this until you have college acceptances and fin aid packages in hand. Go ahead and shoot for the “prestige schools” and some matches and safeties. You will be fine. Try to have some fun senior year.</p>

9

<p>I would take McGill or Toronto, and maybe UBC and, for some interests, Waterloo over Northeastern even if they cost somewhat more. In your circumstances, they are likely to cost a good deal less, and you would have a 100% chance of admission. Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver are extremely cool cities. I would research them and use one as your safety.</p>

10

<p>Have you talked to your parents about how they will finance your education? Have they sat down with your guidance counselor to get an understanding of how student aid works in the US? They want the best foryou, they want you to apply to good schools, but they are probably likely to sober up once they’ve had a chance to consider the financial practicalities of the situation. Especially if they hear it from another adult. Then they might undertand better why you are looking at particular safeties for financial reasons.</p>