<p>Ignoring it doesn’t work.
Talking to them doesn’t work.
Crying doesn’t work.</p>
<p>And it’s driving me crazy. Mom’s sick and let down by dad, who seems like a psycho…I want to say ‘is’, but somehow I’m afraid to do that.</p>
<p>What should I do?</p>
<p>Keep in mind that sometimes, fighting is better than some alternatives, such as avoidance and withdrawal.</p>
<p>When my D was at home in JrHS and HS, spouse and I would sometimes argue, and even get mad, at dinner. D would ask if that meant we were going to get a divorce. I would tell her it was because we were arguing, getting differences in the open, that we would not. </p>
<p>What really matters is what happens after the yelling. If a feud continues, yea, its tough. If your parents settle down and quickly make peace, relax.</p>
<p>BTW, you should watch for things that can be personally harmful to you:</p>
<ul>
<li> threatened (or, horrors, actual) physical violence</li>
<li> attempts to pull you into the situation, such as taking sides.</li>
</ul>
<p>I’m sure others can add to the list.</p>
<p>What to do? Find someone who can listen, preferably an adult. I’m no expert, so perhaps someone with counseling experience will help out with better suggestions.</p>
<p>“Ignoring it doesn’t work.
Talking to them doesn’t work.
Crying doesn’t work.”</p>
<p>By “fighting,” do you mean “arguing?”
First of all, I’m sorry. It must be really hard to concentrate on you and your life while you worry about your parents and their relationship. Remember that you don’t have the power to change them. You can only change you.
You can let them know (when all are calm – or 1 on 1) that the arguing distresses you and leaves you feeling upset and powerless. Because of that, you plan to excuse yourself whenever the arguing begins. Then do it. Head off to your room, put on some music. Call a friend. Take a walk. Write in your journal. Remember that the way they settle their differences is not within your power to fix. You can find a counselor to talk to. Sometimes parents are facing stressors that they don’t share with sons/daughters. All you see is the resulting tension.
If this is about physical fighting/threats, my answer will be different, so let me know if that is the case.
Take care.</p>