My parents made me withdraw an application

Applying to College
41

http://college.as.virginia.edu/course_load

Be aware that you won’t initially be able to sign up for more than 15 credits and that anything over 17 credits must be approved by the Association Dean. My feeling is that this is an overly ambitious plan that leaves you no wiggle room in the case of bumps along the way. It would also mean you’d have no extra time to work for a professor, do an internship, or sit on a campus committee, meaning you’d graduate with an empty resume and perhaps without professors who know you well enough to write you solid grad school recommendations.

42

Well that’s my parent’s plan…

43

No internship?

It’s a bit insane. What about 4 semesters?

The thing though, is, why would you choose Vandy over UVa Echols Scholars even if cost wasn’t an issue (cost was the same)?

As I’d said before, I actually have UVa on a slightly higher tier than Vandy as their per capita alumni achievement rate is higher.

44

Does this sound better?
6 credits summer semester
15 credits 1st semester
6 credits J term
17 credits 2nd semester
6 credits summer semester

17 credits fall semester

67 credits

Attempt transfer to Cornell ILR or Vandy?!?!!? if my GPA is sound?

45

What are your potential plans and goals?

46

Actually

  1. Vandy is slightly cheaper per year
  2. I like the school culture much better than UVA (culture, club, sports-wise). Size is a huge factor (parents don't care b/c they are from Asia, where class sizes are normally huge. "If we can do it, you can.")
  3. Grad school or law school (but my parents don't support my latter plan)

The problem is my parents have been controlling of me for my entire life. They try to make decisions for me and force me into doing what they want for the future (for god’s sake, my dad wants me to do the same major as he did so I can do research with him). They claim this is because “my life affects their life, and I should be thankful of being allowed to live with them past 17 years old b/c they could have kicked me out like ‘American parents do’.” They have a really strange conception of Americans and think this is the best they can do to be “American” or smh.

Also, Peabody school rules (my parents hate me going into cogsci and politics. They want me doing something “profitable.” Curse preprofessional asians)

47

well your professional choice will impact repaying loans for undergrad or grad school.

48

Does that mean I have to major in what they want me to major? It’s my life, not their’s.

49

Transfer to Cornell? IIRC, Cornell does not guarantee to meet full need for ALL transfer students.

If you are instate for VA, this is a NO BRAINER. If you have been accepted to UVA, go there.

You say your EFC is $23,000…BUT Vandy uses the Profile so they just might determine that your family contribution is HIGHER than that.

Did you forge your parent signatures? If so…that’s bad news.

If not, I would suggest you switch your Vandy application to regular decision…make that call TODAY…like right now.

Reality check…you will NOT be able to pay the cost to attend Vandy even IF you sell your $10,000 “belonging”.

50

Adding…you just changed your application from regular decision to ED2. Why??

Here is your chances thread.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/2035520-chance-me-for-rd-schools.html#latest

What happened at University of Chicago ED? If you didn’t get accepted there…don’t count on Vandy.

51

And adding again…UVA meets full need for all accepted students. So…if you move OOS…wouldn’t your need based aid be adjusted to reflect your additional costs?

Ditto UNC, where apparently you also got accepted.

These are both first rate research, flagship universities that a LOT of students would be thrilled to attend.

You seem to be following a dream that isn’t realistic. That is…the schools that accept you aren’t good enough for any number of reasons… but the ones that don’t accept you are dream school. I think you need to re-adjust your thinking.

Move the Vandy application to regular decision. That will give you until the last day of April to look at acceptances, and net costs, and make a decent decision along WITH your parents who will be footing some of that college bill.

If you really had wanted to spring free from your parents, you could have applied to any number of colleges where you would have gotten excellent merit aid, possibly full rides someplace.

But it seems you are chasing prestige. Let that go.

52

I got deferred from there. Plus, Vandy meets all need aid as well. Sure, I’ll switch to RD, but I’m still angry at my parents. I don’t get why they would be against applying EDII to Vandy though, even if it waaaay cheaper than UChicago (they’re pretty irrational and believe ED has no advantage to RD and that I am good enough to get in RD… okay. In fact, they tried to make me SCEA to Stanford and withdraw my Chicago application b/c Stanford is “much better than Chicago.” If you had to accuse someone of prestige chancing, it would be them).

53

They made me apply to Duke, Stanford, Penn, Harvard, Princeton and Yale even if I don’t want to go there, and they say if I don’t get into any one of them, they will only send me to one (being UVA). They think Vandy is “racist” what the frick… In truth it’s because one of my mum’s friend’s brothers went to vandy on a full scholarship and she believes going to vandy without a full scholarship will give her friend something to “brag about” (brag about her brother of course). Asian parents and people in general are very toxic about this

54

@Dankjewel

there’s a lot to digest here. let me see if i have this straight.

you applied to UChicago ED, and got deferred

you applied and got accepted to UVa and UNC

you applied RD to CMU (legacy), Columbia, Dartmouth, Duke, JHU, Northwestern, Princeton, Stanford, UPenn, WUSTL, and Brown. all of these decisions are pending.

you applied ED2 to Vandy since Chicago was deferred. however, it seems like your relationship with parents has deteriorated since the Chicago decision. They are mad at UC and perhaps (unfairly of course) upset with you for not getting in.

NOW and only now, they realize how much Vandy will cost and refuse to pay?

What about Chicago? That’s expensive too. Would they pay for that?

Now that they are aware how expensive all of these private schools are that comprise almost all of your college list, are there ANY schools you applied to that they will pay for, other than UVa?

It sounds like all of you were focused on Chicago or bust, and applied to a bunch of “elite” name schools. And now that Chicago deferred you, they are not willing to pay for any of the other expensive private schools that are on your list?

They are willing to lie under oath that you forged their signature on the ED2 agreement? That frankly sounds deranged. You can simply turn down the ED2 acceptance by claiming that their financial aid package is insufficient. That makes more sense than withdrawing it. Or just contact them and ask to change it to RD – keeping in mind this will damage your chances of getting accepted.

You have a bunch of RD decisions pending. You need to ask them if they are going to pay for ANY of the schools if you get accepted, or if the plan is UVa or nothing. Because if that’s the case, they really wasted a ton of your time and effort.

55

She thinks she can save face by bragging about me being an Echols scholar

56

NOW and only now, they realize how much Vandy will cost and refuse to pay?


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Well they’re pretty uninformed

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What about Chicago? That’s expensive too. Would they pay for that?


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Actually, yes. Funny considering how it’s much more expensive than Vandy. Albeit, they were extremely reluctant.

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It sounds like all of you were focused on Chicago or bust, and applied to a bunch of “elite” name schools. And now that Chicago deferred you, they are not willing to pay for any of the other expensive private schools that are on your list?


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Pretty much

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You can simply turn down the ED2 acceptance by claiming that their financial aid package is insufficient. That makes more sense than withdrawing it. Or just contact them and ask to change it to RD – keeping in mind this will damage your chances of getting accepted.


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I tried explaining that and they’re pretty deranged about it.

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You have a bunch of RD decisions pending. You need to ask them if they are going to pay for ANY of the schools if you get accepted, or if the plan is UVa or nothing. Because if that’s the case, they really wasted a ton of your time and effort.


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Pretty much, yeah. They said, “even if you go to UVA, we can brag about you getting accepted everywhere and smh”
Unless it is HYPS. Heck, not even Dartmouth. My parents tried forcing me to apply to Cornell the last minute, but allowed me to not… They think all Ivies >>>>> Vandy and that Vandy is a scum school. If there was EDII at an Ivy, they would have let me actually.

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57

oh, and about rejecting ED2 due to fin aid, they say I’ll cause a “public harm” by getting my school blacklisted. They LOVE virtue signalling the “common good”

Which doesn’t make sense if they made me potentially take spots of other people by applying to schools I never wanted to. I never wanted to go to Stanford, but they refused to pay for my college applications for the schools I wanted to unless I apply there.

58

BTW, they think that HYPS and all the “top schools in the top 5” give excellent aid (like only pay 5000 a year) regardless (where they got the info? From the Korean version of CC basically except the parents are much more misinformed) and that schools below the T10 except for state flagships give crappy aid.

They’re like, “We have no money! Why should we sacrifice our assets for you? We could have aborted you or something so you should be grateful (my mom actually said that to me once)”

IMO, they just don’t like Vandy especially (they have the weird impression I will get no opportunities there b/c I am Asian and will be oppressed by the white frats). Even if Vandy let me go on a full ride, they would still pick UVA in the name that, “you have to make your homestate proud.” (they are master bullcrappers).

Honestly my parents and I are like water and fire. I remember the other day, my parents were screaming about how horrible the US was with “white privilege” and how racism is prevalent. Honestly, I’ve never felt racism even in the South and most of my friends are white (but at the same time, they claim that the friends don’t "really see me as true friends and feel you are an underling). Doesn’t help my brother acts as an echo chamber

59

You need to find out if they will cut off the money if you don’t major in something they think is productive enough.

Have some sympathy for them. They are immigrants and the system they grew up with is very different from the one here. They also have seen up close and personal how difficult it can be to make a new life in a new place. All of their decisions are colored by those experiences. As for the whole look good to our friends thing, well lots of us have equally gossipy families and friends who need ro score points off each other to be happy. That isn’t a strictly Asian immigrant thing.

As pointed out above, if you want to be free of oarental meddling with your college choices, you can still go looking for a place that would throw a lot of money at a student with your profile. There are a couple of threads on big merit at the top of the Financial Aid Forum. Some of those universities are still taking applications, and some that have closed applications might make an exception if you ask nicely.

60

What is your parent annual income? And assets?

With a $23,000 EFC, I would guess it’s near the $100,000 a year range…for income.

Some colleges are more generous than others…and that is just the way it is.

Vandy is a terrific school…but really so are UNC and UVA.

Not sure why you wouldn’t want to leave ALL the options on the table for now…and switch BACK to RD at Vandy.