@ucbalumnus Honestly, it’s a two (edit: three) way sword. One is that I have freedom, but people around me will know of my conflict with my parents (and the shame I will have to carry in doing that) Two they’ll find me and drag me home. Three, at unis with full rides, I will have limited opportunities even more so than UVA. The reason I want to go to a T20 are the opportunities there that I will have significantly less competition than a flagship state school in recruiting, etc. and assert total independence in the long term. I don’t want to go back to my parents poor and broke in 10 years.
I don’t disagree with that your parents are being unreasonable and their 3 semester UVA plan is crazy impractical. I am sorry you are in this situation. Clearly there are some pretty deep issues.
On the other hand, frankly, it seems like you want Vanderbilt precisely because your parents don’t. I have not heard one real reason as to why Vandy is a better choice than UVA, especially as an Echols at UVA. If you are being honest with yourself, UVA And Vandy are pretty much the same school socially.
In the end, it is your parent’s money and they can choose to spend it however they want. Period. If you think you can make Vandy work on your own, without any financial support, and it is worth that much debt; you are just as delusional as they are, IMO.
UAH scholarships closed it seems @Wien2NC (btw, I have a friend from Wien. Awesome place. Goes to British Columbia now b/c father is Canadian).
FYI, the “culture” at UVa and at Vanderbilt are similar. Both are quite different from U Chicago.
The opportunities of a top college education are not compatible with graduating in 3 semesters. (You know this, I am sure.)
@labegg Ugh this is impractical. Vanderbilt is MUCH smaller and I have MUCH less competition in recruiting. Being in a large HS, I realized how people are like ruthless hounds when it comes to opportunities. I don’t think I would survive in an environment much larger like UVA.
What opportunities?
And you realize that plenty of UAH grads get good paying careers and jobs, right?
BTW, shame is what you make of it.
In certain times and places, gays are expected by many people to be ashamed. Or Asians. Or women. Or whatever. But you do get to choose whether you are going to be ashamed or not.
@prodesse Of course, which is why I would much prefer to go to Vanderbilt, because not only is it cheaper in the long term, it’s much more well regarded where I come from. UVA on the other hand… my parents expect me to graduate in 2 years.
I think you have to try to give up your anger about the Vandy EDII and change to RD. Any ED is only a good idea if the parents are willing to pay around the EFC for that school as long as it takes to graduate, which is usually at least 3 or more often 4 years. Clearly this is not true for your parents, and it won’t become true in a week when decisions are released. Even if they signed the form, this was never a good idea. I know it is difficult to face that this late in the game, but that is the way it is. You have to move on.
A bigger problem is the graduate-in-three-semesters plan. My D is a first-year student at UVA, and even 15 credits is hard. UVA also has numerous distribution requirements of various types, and I doubt the administration would approve a three-semester graduation in any case. You have to consult with them about doing it in just three years, let alone one and a half.
Your parents have an absolute legal right to say they won’t give you a penny for college unless you try to graduate in three semesters from UVA. But I think (and I’m sure you would agree!) they would be wrong to try to make your college experience have much higher pressure and be a lot shorter and worse than all of your peers in order to spend $40K over three semesters and not $60K over three years (or whatever the figures are), when they make $150K a year.
So I think what you should do is switch to RD, back off and try not to discuss things, and see what your options are in 7 weeks. Maybe you’ll get into Harvard, where you could graduate in three years, it might cost about $15K a year, and I really, really hope your parents would pay it. Probably that won’t happen, but you don’t know what your options will be. If it turns out UVA is your only option, you can work on getting other people (like those from your school or UVA) to convince your parents of the need to let you have a relatively normal three-year experience there. It’s a great school and you might really like it.
@PurpleTitan Getting a high paying job at JP Morgan as an I-Banker. Anyway, this is moot b/c the UAH deadline for merit seems to have passed
@Dankjewel, oops, sorry I misread your post, but would they listen to your GC? IMO you schedule you outline is insanely intense and allows no time to get to know your peers or profs.
Also, in your plan you include two summer sessions. Have you included the cost of those in your COA estimates? Have your parents considered the fact that they’re going to have to pay for more of your personal expenses during the year if you’re not able to have a summer job?
You are being short sighted @Dankjewel. You are not competing with just kids at Vanderbilt for recruiting opportunities. We live in a very global world. You will be compared with student from EVERY university and college. If you are talking about internal (school) research opportunities, the fact that you are an Echols, will significantly narrow the pool.
@Wilson98 Echols Scholar. No distribution requirements whatsoever.
@Sue22 THey are still convinced it will be cheaper than private school (my friends all went to prep school affiliated with the SC Johnson family. I’m the only person in my parents’ “group” that went to a public magnet. My life in high school is just trying too hard to outcompete with my prep school friends in courseload and APs)
Edit: no, it’s not the Prairie School. The Johnson Family sent their children to another prep school-- and donated a theatre there
I Want to go into I-banking (my parents are opposed. Want me to become an academic b/c they consider my mind to “inferior” to do “high level mathematics”). The problem is, that is 1. heavily dependent on school prestige 2. 2 year graduation at UVA means I cannot do McIntire, so I am screwed at UVA pretty much @labegg
My prospective major at UVA is PPL and Econ
@Sue22 they’re still convinced it’s cheaper than private school
that’s the competitive scholarships. automatic merit scholarships are available until Aug 1. at least they were in 2017 when my son applied for his in March.
just ask for an application waiver code and you can apply online for free. you will have to send SAT scores.
how much money do you have? if you are 18 you can just walk into a bank and set up a student checking account. make sure they have a branch close to wherever you wind up going to college.
i am sure any college has a Class of 2022 Facebook page. make connections and find someone you can carpool with on move-in day. or check for an online student carpool site. pitch in some gas money and you’re good to go.
if you have enough money, you can buy a cheap used car.
heck you can even contact UAH admissions office and explain this stuff to them. they can point you in the right direction for resources that can help you get there and get settled. there is even a UAH admissions person who frequents this site who is very helpful.
I mean, you’re worried about damaging your relationship with your parents? they are sending out fake emails to your school in your name. they are threatening to lie under oath that you committed a felony by forging their name on you Vandy ED2 app. they are ripping your laptop out of your hands and forcing you to apply to colleges they won’t pay for just b/c of their pride. sorry but all this sounds absolutely loony. I think you need to get away from this situation.
If your parent annual income was $150,000 a year for 2016, then your FAFSA EFC would be more like in the $35,000 to $50,000 a year range.
Is there more than one sibling in college at the same time as you?
How about this as a compromise- you agree to withdraw your ED application if your parents agree to let you consider all your acceptances once they come in. They or you could easily change their minds in the intervening time.
It seems to me you and your parents are digging your heels in and cementing your positions. This is likely to result in at least one party ending up unhappy. As a parent I’m always more disposed to listen to my kids’ side of an argument when they approach me respectfully and make a reasoned case for what they want. Yelling never works. It just makes people shut down.
This is what I would advise you to say.
“Mom and Dad, I know you love me and want what’s best for me. You believe that would be to go to UVA and graduate after 3 semesters. That would be good because…[state their argument]. But I’m worried that…[state your argument against the 3 semester plan succinctly]. You feel it’s important for me to go to UVA but I’m not sure it’s in my best interest. Could we compromise? I’ll change my ED application to RD so I can still consider UVA but I’d like you to keep an open mind about the other schools, including Vandy. We can sit down and consider the pros and cons of each acceptance together and compare the final financial aid offers.”
I really don’t get my parents. They say “you are one of the smartest kids we know. You can be #1 at UVA. Oh, BTW, you think you are qualified for Vandy? You aren’t and get ready to be crushed by the Thomas Jefferson kids at UVA. Be thankful you are going to school with people much smarter than you” (cognitive dissonance is real here. What the heck do they mean?)
All of the above points are moot without a Paypal or Car (from bank to SAT score). However, I’ll take note @Wien2NC . My parents are well connected at UVA and let’s say I go there. Without them, I’ll sink. They know professors there personally and my dad is planning to make me an understudy of one of his friends (accounting). It’s too complicated. However, I know my father’s friends are much nicer, so I hope that’s a plus.
Do you suppose I can attend UAH for a year and transfer to a better school (even UVA, but as an independent with no parental strings attached).
I have a lot of siblings. FAFSA EFC came out as such, so IDK how. My dad filled it out for me (he tried to make me fill it in first and refused to cooperate, but realized it was linked heavily with fin aid and just did it himself. Yes, he initially thought not of doing FAFSA and CSS b/c "you won’t get aid anyway)