<p>Hi. I’m am currently a junior in high school. The thing is I have conservative Indo/Pak parents who are insinuating that they will move to the city where I go to college or that I stay local. Obviously I want to go a fair distance away from home yet go to a good college. This is strictly about parents moving to the same city with me or making me stay home. It is not about what college I am going to. With people who have strict Indo/Pak parents, are they just “bluffing” or is it likely that they will come with me. Please don’t say things like “earn your own money and do what you want” because that is not how it works in Indo/Pak families. And “talk to them and explain your concerns” isn’t such a fantastic idea. I want ideas and reassurance from people this has happened to previously just to see how it plays out and what my options are. Thanks 
O and I’m a guy.</p>
<p>Are there any colleges that are suitable for you – in terms of academics, finances, and the likelihood that you will be admitted – that are within an hour or two of home?</p>
<p>If there are, maybe you don’t have a problem.</p>
<p>How far is a fair distance? Does local mean they want you to commute?</p>
<p>Yes, few years ago there was a father on this forum who said he wanted to move from the West coast to Boston when his daughter went to college. He was prepared to sell his house, and ask his boss to allow him to work from Boston. Most people on this forum told him not to do it. I don’t know if he was really serious, but at the end he didn’t do it. They ended up having a very none eventful college relationship. This person’s daughter only applied to schools on the East coast. I think they were Indians. It turned out to be a bluff. It is very rare adults would change their lifestyle to follow their kids. Let your parents know you would be fine with them moving with you.</p>
<p>Don’t worry about them moving to be close to you. This time next year they will have had more time to get used to having a child leave the nest (after all, they went thousands of miles and parents couldn’t automatically follow them. H is Indian and I have experience with the culture et al). Concentrate on applying to schools that seem to be a good fit for you academically and socially. Even if they move to your college town they will not be on campus with you. I ended up at my financial safety eons ago- 8 miles from home. Never went home, was in a totally different world than my HS days.</p>
<p>I’m not Indo/Pak, but I keep threatening my son with that. It’s because I’ll miss him more than I can bear. But I don’t mean it. I know I have to let him go. Perhaps to help ease their pain, you can show them how you they will continue to be an important part of your life, even when you are far away.</p>
<p>I am pretty sure it wouldn’t be to difficult for me to make it into most state schools with the exception of California. Acceptance is not an issue because there are schools that cater to my needs and that are away from home. A fair distance for me is about 3 hours. Far enough for them to have to plan a visit. Also moving thousands of miles was out of necessity while with colleges there are many options.</p>
<p>My D’s friend said that her parents were planning to move wherever she want to college (I believe she was somewhat serious). They didn’t & she even did a term abroad in Paris, which they didn’t accompany her on either (tho they have visited–she is an only child). Most parents would of course love their kids to be within visiting distance but few will actually uproot their lives and move to wherever their child(ren) end up attending school.</p>
<p>Yeah, my parents have voiced that they would consider moving to where I go to college, but honestly with the financial situation, it’s pure bluff for my parents. If they had the money, yeah they might.</p>
<p>What would happen if you told them the truth? On the lines of that you don’t want them to move to where you are. That you would like to see how it is to be on your own for awhile, that you would like to be independent (if that is true). I would probably be proud if my kids told me that (though, they would just tell me to stop being ridiculous, it would be silly for us to move to where they were).</p>
<p>My wife started joking with my son saying she wanted him to stay local so she could visit him easily. </p>
<p>His response was to ask if there were any good colleges in Austrailia?</p>
<p>goingto -</p>
<p>Unless your parents have the kind of profession that takes easily to packing up and moving across the state or across the country, I really doubt that they will actually do so. And if you do get into a college/university far, far, away, and your parents do decide to pack up and move to that area, there really is nothing you can do about them. Sigh, roll your eyes, tell them that you love them crazy though they are (or maybe that you love them because they are crazy), and then get on with your life.</p>
<p>My husband went to NYC’s Stuyvesant High School in the 80s, and he claims that some of the families of his Asian classmates actually did pack up and relocate to be near their kids’ colleges. I always wondered what these families did when the second child went to college.</p>
<p>goingto- is this a cultural decision on your parents part? Is this the norm for what other family members have done, or plan to do? And do you have siblings?</p>
<p>OP, can you answer the question about whether they would expect you to live at home and commute?</p>
<p>I faced something similar, but I’m Hispanic and was the first in my family to go to college. Oh, and I started school early so was only 17 when I graduated and they were NOT going to let me go off to college. I went to a juco for two years, living at home, and then transferred to a state school far enough away that I could live on my own but get home quickly.</p>
<p>You could play the prestige card. “Don’t you want to brag that I’m at Big Name U?” ;)</p>
<p>I do jokingly tell my kids that I will be getting an apartment near their schools. However, just his weekend, I told my son, who thinks he wants to stay close to home, that it doesn’t really matter how far away he is within reason. He will be a little homesick and we will not be visiting all the time. Even if you are an hour from home, OP, it is very unlikely that your parents will be dropping in. As hard as it is to believe, once the kids start moving on, parents start finding other things to do.</p>
<p>Agree. My four-year school was only 45 minutes away, and they only came to my apartment once in two years.</p>
<p>My MIL got married because her mom threatened to come live with her at graduate school, and that marriage did not last. </p>
<p>I wish parents would not say things like this to their kids. </p>
<p>To the OP: Have any of your parent’s friends or your relatives actually done this? If not, you’re probably okay.</p>
<p>We have a good college nearby. When I asked my son whether he would be happy attending that school, he said, “It would be ok, except you and dad would have to move farther away.” Lol.</p>
<p>My son attended a college that is (in the middle of the night, when there’s no traffic on the Washington Beltway) 40 minutes from home.</p>
<p>My husband and I rarely visited him for purely social reasons, and he almost never came home for purely social reasons outside of scheduled breaks. But nobody pretended he was six hours away, either. He continued to use his hometown doctors and dentist, and he would sometimes borrow my car for shopping and other errands, or he and I would go do some errands together. We did his move-ins and move-outs by making two trips (which enabled him to have a bicycle and television at school during the school year and at home during the summer). And if he needed something from home, someone would arrange to drop it off.</p>
<p>It was actually quite convenient, and he didn’t feel that his parents were breathing down his neck in any way.</p>