<p>What advice would you give (me) a freshman in college who wants to be happier? I know I am very fortunate; I know I am part of that 5% of the world’s population that is blessed with wealth and education, although sometimes I doubt that. However, every time I feel happy, I accumulate a sense of guilt. There are people in other parts of the world scrounging for the basic necessities of life, widespread illness, genocide, millions of orphans, and an ever eroding environment. What is there to be blissfully happy about? A sunny day? A bowl of ice cream? All of the fairy tales are dissipating and I am left with a crazy world that I wish was all a dream. Maybe I’m naive or foolish, but I want to wake up to what I dreamt of as a child. At least I can laugh and lounge while billions live a distant nightmare. I feel like I’m asleep. I feel like America is asleep. </p>
<p>So how can I be happy? What can I do? Should I stop complaining and live a fruitful life safe here in America, completely ignorant of the eminent dangers and violent extremists creeping within our borders? </p>
<p>Or am I wrong, or selfish for thinking my happiness is worth anything? Whatever the case, reason, or answer: I want to find fulfillment. Maybe that will be from a job or family or lover or cause, I don’t know. </p>
<p>Standing on the precipice of the rest of my life, childhood dreams fading, and memories of happiness cruel, what must I do in my pursuit of happiness?</p>
<p>It looks like you feel guilty because of the injustices prevalent. Well, how about going to college and also doing some service work in this field. I’m sure anywhere you are or go, there are organizations that are always willing to take volunteers. Or have you already done this? You can even make this a career if you wish.</p>
<p>You seem to need to be centered. Have you ever meditated or even taken yoga? Finding your center- will help you find your way in the world.</p>
<p>To get an idea of what I am talking about- read one of Thich Nhat Hahns books- I especially recommend the Miracle of Mindfulness & Peace is every step as an introduction.
[Parallax</a> Press - Thich Nhat Hanh biography, recommended books, and pronounciation](<a href=“http://www.parallax.org/about_tnh.html]Parallax”>http://www.parallax.org/about_tnh.html)</p>
<p>Prepare yourself to make a difference. Research the backgrounds of people you admire who are making a difference in those parts of the world. What parts of what they do see interesting to you? Find out what you need to do to be prepared to do likewise. What information or studies do you need to become an effective agent of change? With that as a goal, your current situation will be more meaningful and you will have direction for your life.</p>
<p>And don’t expect to be able to fix everyone’s problems. Know that one of the people you help may go one to help others, and so on.</p>
<p>There’s an old story:</p>
<p>A man was walking on a beach littered with dying starfish. There were thousands of them. A teenager picked up a starfish and threw it back into the ocean beyond the tide line. He picked up another, and then another, throwing them back into the ocean. The man apporached the teen. “Why are you bothering? There are thousands of starfish here. You can’t help them all. What does it matter?” The teen, without pausing from his task, said to the man, “It matters to that one.”</p>
<p>CP - The middle of freshman year isn’t a particularly good time to be thinking about these things. But since you’ve asked …</p>
<p>You already have the two most important pieces to this puzzle – you care, and you’re capable. Many opportunities to do good in this world will find you. For now though, please go back to having fun with your friends and doing well with your studies. JMHO.</p>
<p>One of my favorite sayings is that God calls us to be faithful not successful. The problems we observe around the world and in our own country are staggering and we seem so small in comparison.</p>
<p>Instead of feeling guilt, you should feel purpose. Actually, you have a huge advantage that you can leverage into a life that includes service to others - purpose with a conscience.</p>
<p>Your purpose at this point in time is to acquire the education and credentials necessary to be in the position to meaningfully tackle some of the problems that you see in the world around you.</p>
<p>Continue along your path, with the knowledge that acquiring the means necessary to address some of those problems is, in fact, a step in the right direction toward a very worthy goal!</p>
<p>post 5 by Singersmom, and 6 by Chedva are what I would say too. I would add that if you can volunteer in some meaningful way now you will be that much better off. It can be anything from doing a coat drive in your dorm to serving in free kitchen once a month to preparing for a walk for charity, but I believe fully that the best way to get rid of your bad feelings is to do good for others.</p>
<p>First of all, never ever feel guilty about what you have. Just try to make the best use of it.</p>
<p>In addition to above cited books… here are other books that I like… they are very short and easy to read.
(1) The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven
(2) Present Moment Wonderful Moment by Thick Nhat Hanh
(3) Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers: Follow Your Bliss</p>
<p>From Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye, Mr. Antolini quotes Wilhelm Stekel, </p>
<p>“The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.”</p>
<p>Good for you, being aware of inequities in the world. You are not the first to feel that America is asleep. Get out of this country, travel, observe some of those conditions you’re thinking about first hand. All people, poverty or not, are entitled to a satisfying existence, however you want to define satisfying. This includes you. Overhanging guilt as you have observed, does not make you happy, and does not help anyone. You are entitled to joy, and I doubt that someone in a 3rd world slum would appreciate you not enjoying your life as you feel badly about theirs! But they’d perhaps appreciate a little money or initiative on their behalf! Translate some of those feelings to action, studying the conditions that create inequity, working in whatever way you find to be appropriate to correct those inequities, brings a feeling of accomplishment. Longer term happiness tends to be a byproduct of a life well lived. You are not the first to feel a sense of outrage. Study those who have taken that feeling and been spurred to action. I’d second Mountains to Mountains as well as the other books and examples above.</p>
<p>Another inspirational book-Three Cups of Tea
One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace…One School at a Time, by Greg Mortensen. This book has bearings on the problems of terrorism that you seem concerned about.</p>
<p>Thank you all for taking the time to respond! I think I will pick up “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankel. Several people have recommended that book to me. </p>
<p>My school had a career fair today. I stopped by the Peace Corps booth and talked with the representative; it is an interesting program, and I will give it some serious thought after graduation. As of now, I need to focus on myself and my personal growth. </p>
<p>I have another question if anyone has a thought. I was wondering how you all keep discipline, a mantra perhaps? My parents always tell me I have no discipline. Do you think this is innate, simple hard work, or something more?</p>
<p>Thanks again.</p>
<p>p.s. Thanks for the advice singersmom. And, originaloog Norman Bourlag is amazing.</p>
<p>I meditate daily, using the vipassana method, which has been popularized by Goenka, who says it is the purest form of Buddha’s teachings. It’s nonsectarian and taught in 10-day free silent retreats around the world.</p>
<p>I’ll be interested in hearing your thoughts about “Man’s Search for Meaning,” which is one of my favorite books.</p>
<p>Why not pick a major that can be practically useful to peasants in 3rd world countries, throw yourself into your studies, do well, graduate and then volunteer in the Peace Corps for a few years?
We all have something to contribute.<br>
And don’t begrudge yourself a happy time or happy day. Here’s a reality check. The ‘poor’ are just people too. They have different issues to cope with compared to our issues, but they have happy times in their more limited situations, don’t kid yourself. And so should you. Make it a point throughout your life to lend a hand and simultaneously enjoy yourself. Helping the poor doesn’t mean you have to be dour and serious while you are either readying yourself or actually engaging in activities. Change your attitude. Be happy and be positive and be helpful, right now to the folks around you, and later to the poorer people around the world. They know how to laugh, too, and would appreciate your making jokes as you show them better ways to live.
As far as the U.S. having lots of money, what is that statistic I read somewhere? Something about 60% of the wealth in this country being used by a small fraction of the population, leaving 40% for the rest of us. So while not quite as stark as the poverty elsewhere, there’s plenty of poverty in the U.S. that you can try to alleviate in small ways.<br>
If you are cheerful, you will be more effective in helping the poor. Keep that in mind.
Oh, and realize that poor people are no better or worse than anyone else, they just have a lot of obvious limitations to deal with. Given the chance, they may not act any more ethically than anyone else. Human nature is the same in the rich and the poor. Although I do agree wholeheartedly that people with more should definitely help folks who have less.</p>