I went to my junior prom, skipped senior prom (I was dating a sophomore at the time, it would have been a little weird for him). D1 went to both with groups (common in our area, I am very thankful my kids didn’t go to a school where having a date is a big deal – minimal drama). But D1 skipped some of the day of stuff (manicures, hair appointments) that some of her friends did, didn’t want to spend the money. D2 skipped it all – she hates loud noise, and after attending a formal dance earlier in HS, she skipped all opportunities the last couple of years. Was fine with me – no one should be pressured to go who isn’t interested.
S didn’t go to any proms, nor did H. They were both fine about it. D and I went to our respective JR and SR proms and enjoyed them. It’s nice if whomever wants to attend is able to and has a happy time of it. I have not heard of anyone scarred by not attending.
I understand why a parent would be upset over this. We love our kids so much that any possible slight, disappointment, hurt, causes us pain. Funny, though, I 'll bet our parents never even noticed this stuff!
I did not go to my prom. The guy that I would have liked to go with, right before the prom, suddenly got together with a girl who was much younger (that I didn’t like at all). My friends tried to get me to go with someone else, and I pretended like I was working. Tell the truth, I’ve never been too interested in that kind of thing, anyways.
I love that at my kid’s high school, everyone automatically goes to the prom (if you can’t afford a ticket, it is taken care of). No dates are allowed, and it is always an amazing, unique, all night event. Nobody misses the prom.
But let me give you some hope, here. The painfully introverted kid in high school, can grow into someone more comfortable and far more extroverted in college, and beyond. The box that seems to enclose them, disappears and they can grow into who they are meant to be. As a parent who has been tormented by concern during the earlier years, I promise you that it all can get so much better. 
Really wish my daughter didn’t go to every formal dance … Have to buy her a new dress every time – that’s the part I think is the most ridiculous. I never went to my own prom.
–must not be a “mom” thing…, but then again I fail at momhood in many ways so I know I’m not typical 
BusDriver - I want to “like” your Post #82 multiple times!
Since this thread is from 2011 I wonder how many of you already answered 5 years ago.
@gouf78 rude CC ought to close threads that are older than “X” years to avoid this embarrassment.
“BusDriver - I want to “like” your Post #82 multiple times!”
Well, thank you, @FallGirl 
Funny, I didn’t notice how old this thread was until gouf mentioned it. But these things never change, do they?
I would love it if the OP would give us an update on how her son is doing today. I’ll bet you that his life is so much better out of high school.
I didn’t notice either, how old this was. I didn’t go to my high school prom (we only had senior), besides being somewhat socially awkward, even back in the dark ages of the early 80’s, it already had turned into a kind of can you top this thing, with renting limousines, over the top gowns and so forth (guys had it easy, we could rent tuxes), and sadly from talking to friends about it later who went, it wasn’t all that much fun, the bs of school and cliques translated into the event itself, and those who went all out made those who maybe couldn’t afford to do that kind of thing feel badly about it.
I also had an excuse, being a gearhead I was the pit crew chief for several friends of mine who had their cars in the street eliminations at a place called Raceway Park, one of them won the overall trophy as well as their class:). My big job was patching them together after the races so we could get home, was very good with bailing wire, duct tape and a lot of ingenuity lol. That probably stood me better, I still remember that night, a lot more than I would the prom.
I love this thread even if it’s 5 years old. Not sure if my S going. He went to his jr. prom with his girlfriend who had a panic attack right after dinner and they left. All that money wasted, although he was more understanding than I. Is it terrible that I am dreading all those FB posts and pictures of everyone else’s kids prom pictures?
@choirsandstages, my kids didn’t get new dresses every time. There are 4 winter formal dances at my kid’s school. Told D1 at the start I’d buy her 2 dresses over the 4 years, but she’d have to re-use – it just seemed silly to me to keep springing for dresses for one event. Worked fine – she got new dresses freshman & soph year, and reused. I think she wore one of them to jr prom, too. She did get a new dress for senior prom.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
Normally I would, but this is a timeless topic and has been fairly active since being bumped. 
OMG! I could not believe my eyes when I saw this thread appeared again after FIVE years!!! It looks familiar but so distant. I still remember the feeling I had then. I felt alone and disappointed because my H did not understand and most of my mom friends had their kids going to the prom. It is such a big deal for the HS seniors around here. I was dreading all the FB pictures afterwards too. My son knew what he wanted and he made his decision. It was just not his thing. Now I am proud that he has successfully earned his college degree, has a great job that he likes, and makes a lot of friends through his work. He lives 1100+ miles away from us, is on his own and enjoys his young adult life. I miss him very much but we talk regularly so it helps a lot (for me). The prom really does not mean anything anymore.
When it came to my S2’s turn, it did not affect me at all whether he went to the prom or not. He was asked so he went and had a great time. I got to take pictures and met all the kids and their parents. It was fun but we would not care if he did not go.
I was laughing at my old posts how silly they were and wish the moderator would take them down. My baby has grown up and so do I (LOL). Although I must say five years ago I got a lot of comfort words from this thread and I was thankful. My H and I did not make a big deal that S1 did not go to the prom. We did not want him to feel self-conscious. I came to CC instead :). I think it is a decision that kids make and parents need to feel comfortable with the decision. It can be expensive so that is another issue needs to be discussed ahead. If kids do not participate it does not mean that their high school life is less. In our HS and the surrounding areas , it is just a “thing” that some kids and parents (moms especially) think it is a “must” at that stage.
@intparent I think the reason parents (mostly mothers, I’d imagine) care is because they do dream of seeing their child dressed up in a suit/gown for prom and taking pictures. Especially for those kids who have never gone to any dances or public events in their entire HS career. It’s also a bittersweet moment when the parent realizes that their “baby” has grown up.
sunnydayfun, that is so wonderful that your son is doing well, and it is a distant memory. I don’t think any of your posts were silly at all, we all feel the pain of disappointment when things aren’t going as we wanted for our kids. So happy that your son is having a great time in his life! I’m glad you filled us in.
@JessicaO, young people grow up just fine without this particular rite of passage. Pushing a kid to dress up and go to an event in which they have no interest so the parent can take photos and pretend their baby has grown up seems selfish of the parent in my opinion. I had a mom like this – all about appearances, looking for the photo op, so worried about what people “should” do. Let’s just say it didn’t foster closeness and respect with any of her kids.
Has anyone ever regretted NOT going to a party?
Yes. I did not go to my prom and really felt like I missed something so pressured S1 into going. W went with a gay friend and really enjoyed her prom. S1 wanted to skip it. He asked a girl from the cross-country team and had a great time, his only date in HS. He is very social now and has been dating a girl at college for a little more than a year.
D made a deal with a group of friends at the beginning of senior year. Two of her friends are from India and were not allowed to date, so six girls got together and decided to go as a group, no guys allowed. Most of them were asked to prom later and declined. W and I drove and chaperoned as part of the deal. D dated a bit in HS but not at all (so far) in college.
S2 is a HS junior who goes to a STEM school and it is a pretty anti-social bunch. He will probably not go which would be OK with us, though we kind of hope he meets a girl from a traditional HS for the prom experience.
My D went to a second hand store yesterday and got a $30 senior prom dress. First time she has done that in all the years she’s been going to formals!! This was her idea start to finish, and I’m relieved to be saving about $100 on this extravaganza!
Oh, and how cool is that to have @sunnydayfun come back and give the 5 year update?!? So interesting and puts things in perspective. Thank you!
Btw, quick update from me, the OP: my son IS actually going to his senior prom! His school friends leaned on him very hard to ask a girl who did not have a date to prom. He resisted because he hates dances, but then realized that “I am going to seem like the world’s biggest jerk if I don’t ask her”. After sweating it out, he agreed and the young lady’s friends told him that they would make a sign for him to make her a prom-posal in homeroom. His job was to bring her flowers and be coherent. I was silently doing the happy dance and told him, “Well that is very nice of you. I’m sure it will mean a lot to her, and you will feel good that you did a good deed.” I then went out and bought a beautiful flower arrangement for said young lady. This morning on leaving the house son said, “Well, here goes nothing!”. I FB-searched the young lady later that day, and it turns out she is an absolutely stunning 6’1 girl! (Son is 6’4).
So I suppose that “all’s well that ends well!”