<p>Today is the senior prom at my son’s HS. He has always been a reserved and quiet child. Good grade, good looking, athletic and has a great college to go to. I feel sad he is not going. He said he was not interested, did not want to go and avoided the conversations from day one. I know not going to prom does not define his life. I just need to get over it, I supposed…</p>
<p>My friend’s son refused to go too. It is kind of an ordeal and some kids just don’t want to deal with all the planning/fuss/pressure. Make his favorite dessert and maybe grab some movie rentals. </p>
<p>Tomorrow be happy about how much money he saved you :-). I’d estimate I spent a good $400 (included contributions to after-party food) for my DS1. Who knows if DS2 will want to attend his? I’ll try not to care.</p>
<p>My son went to senior prom (and junior prom, and all the Homecoming dances too). </p>
<p>My older one did not - it’s not her cup of tea. She even turned down to a chance to go with a group of girlfriends. But ya know what? She reallllly enjoyed going to the after-party sponsored by the Parent Association at the HS. It was held from midnight until 4am. The kids were all dressed casually, having fun playing games and winning prizes. </p>
<p>OP - If your school has an after party, you should encourage him to go it! No date or tuxedo required ;)</p>
<p>My son went to junior prom (mainly because a girl asked him). decided it was a “stupid waste of money” (even though we covered the expenses), and did not go to senior prom. There seems to be no lasting damage - he is a happy college graduate, gainfully employed, and in a relationship ;). Get over it. It really is not important at all.</p>
<p>One of my sons did not attend his senior prom either. I was disappointed and thought he might regret it. However, he never has. He wasn’t into all the fuss and said the dances weren’t very fun anyway (he had been to all of the previous 5 dances). I like that he was, and still is to this day, his own person! OP your son sounds like a great kiddo!</p>
<p>I’m probably your son too.I “get” him.It’s just not something that has any appeal to him that’s all.However don’t continually bring it up or suggest other activities as that could annoy him immensely.</p>
<p>One more parent vote for “nothing to worry about”. I think it’s great that he knows himself well enough to say that it wouldn’t be fun for him.
I went to several proms at my high school and a couple of neighboring high schools…none rank in the most fun moments of my life.</p>
<p>My son never went to either one of his proms. He even had a girlfriend when he was a senior (she was only a sophomore) but refused to go. Said it was lame and a waste of money. I think I was as disappointed as his girlfriend was. I always felt he’d be sorry to have missed this milestone. I have been proven completely wrong. (But I STILL wished he’d have gone. I wanted to be one of those parents taking all the pictures…)</p>
<p>I think the prom is one of those events in life which is highly overrated. Back in the day - I went to junior prom, but not senior. No big deal. My older son did not go to his prom - and I did not push it. I think it makes sense to go if your son/daughter has a significant other and they are excited to go as a couple. But for those without a boyfriend/girlfriend - the drama involved in asking someone - the expense of going - is it really worth the hassle? It seems like weeks of drama and planning go into it - and for many - it does not live up to the hype.</p>
<p>I would so let this go and not give it another thought.</p>
<p>I’m a mom. I never went to mine and I have NEVER regretted it.</p>
<p>My older daughter didn’t go, and has never indicated in any way that she felt badly about it. </p>
<p>Congratulate yourself on having raised a child who is comfortable making his own decision.</p>
<p>Back when we would have ridden dinosaurs to the event, I skipped Prom, too. Seemed stupid to me. No regrets, except that persistent facial tic ;)</p>
<p>sunnydayfun "I know not going to prom does not define his life. I just need to get over it, I supposed… "</p>
<p>You are projecting your own wishes and values on your son. I really don’t think he’s going to give it any thought at all. For what it’s worth my son won’t be going next year either. He could care less about it.</p>
<p>I went to my prom. I have a nice picture, but I don’t really remember it. It really doesn’t matter, BUT you will make your son very uncomfortable if you express your regrets.</p>
<p>I can relate to a sense of sadness about this. It’s not the prom itself that matters, it’s the fear that this indicates that the shy, reserved child may not be socially plugged-in, happy in school, with a solid group of friends who want to celebrate the end of the school year together. It might make a parent worry about the child’s ability to find his/her niche in college, too.</p>
<p>My S1 is also quiet & shy, and he did not go a single HS dance, let alone his Prom. He worked at Starbucks the night of Prom. I was sad, but he had no regrets.</p>
<p>My S2 went to Prom. I spent the night worrying about him & his friends into the wee hours of the morning. My lesson: Be careful what you wish for …</p>
<p>Thanks for all the kind words. If it is not a big deal to my s then it is not a big deal to me.I just hope he will come out his shell one day…</p>
<p>I’m not going to my senior prom, and I’m a girl so that makes it even “weirder.” I’m also somewhat shy but honestly, I think I’ll be involved in many more things once I get to college and away from all the drama and petty things (like dances) of high school…maybe your son is that way too. Not saying prom is stupid for everyone, but some people (like your son and I) are more looking forward to college.</p>
<p>I transferred to a very cliquy HS from overseas, so it was very hard for me to fit in socially. I had some friends but not a huge group. That was the reason I never went to any of the homecoming dances and was reluctant to go to prom.
My parents convinced me to go to prom during my senior year, and I honestly felt that it was a waste of time. Didn’t like it at all. Don’t think I would have regretted it if I didn’t go.</p>
<p>My son not only did not go to his prom, he did not go to his HS graduation.</p>
<p>His choice.</p>
<p>His life does not seem to have been impacted significantly (although oddly, he did go to his college graduation and liked it).</p>
<p>At my D’s high school, the junior prom is the big prom, and the seniors can attend if they want. She went to the junior prom, and had a great time. She is not going to the prom for her senior year for the following reasons: too expensive (especially for a girl), too much “Proma” (prom drama), and her college boyfriend has no desire to go. They will be going out to a nice dinner instead. Truthfully, I am glad she isn’t attending. I told her that we can put the ‘saved money’ towards her graduation party.</p>