<p>I agree with that, you have to find what you might not have had time for before. (I was a busy taxi-mom)I know when my son left, I was going to the gym and running a bit, but I decided to run a marathon and set out a training schedule. He had told me I could do it (although I thought he was nuts) and that helped motivate me. Since he had run years ago, we shared tips and he was so proud of me when I finished a year later. When my girls leave, I hope to take a class and re-discover books I haven’t had time to read, cultivate interests I put on the back-burner, but I have no illusions it wont be difficult.</p>
<p>Apparently none of you have ever had a relative go off to war. It must be brutal worrying about whether Junior will enjoy being a psych major or if he might have taken a jacket that’s out of style on his campus. On the other hand, there are tens of thousands of mothers whose kids are over in Iraq and Afghanistan right now.</p>
<p>Schmaltz–it is true that there are thousands of parents with kids who are serving our country in the military. And my heart goes out to these parents, especially those whose children are in areas where there is war.</p>
<p>But this thread is for parents whose children are leaving for college. To ridicule them for feelings of emptiness or sadness or whatever they are feeling is inappropriate. No one on here is saying it’s harder to have a kid go off to college than to go off to war. This thread is not about kids going to Iraq vs. kids going to college.</p>
<p>If you have a child that has left for Iraq or Afghanistan, start a thread on the parent forum to share your feelings. I’m sure you will get much support.</p>
<p>^schmaltz, S1 commissioned in May. He will leave in six weeks for EOD sch. EOD is Explosive Ordnance Disposal (what the current movie The Hurt Locker is about) an extremely dangerous job. I guess we all go from one worry to another. </p>
<p>I feel for those who are grieving over their kids leaving for college. I know your pain is real. My best friend had a terrible time letting her youngest go two years ago. S2 is now a college soph. so we have the empty nest here too. </p>
<p>I promise you it will get better. Try to remember what an exciting time this is for your kids and get excited for them and about the new opportunities/possibilities that lie ahead in your own life. Best wishes to you all.</p>
<p>My oldest daughter just left for a year as a hs exchange student in Ecuador. She’ll be 16 in a couple months. I am happy for her but I miss her already - especially since I know she will never live at home for more than a couple months at a time. When she returns she’s off to our state boarding school for gifted youth for two years, then college. These are all things I would have wanted to do at her age, but I’m still sad.</p>
<p>We dropped off our D (an only child) four days ago in Missouri and came back to CA. I thought it would be very hard for me and my husband, but seems it’s much harder for her… She is calling us every evening, one day she sounds pretty ok, another – almost with tears. Even though she likes her roommate, makes new friends, participates in a lot of activities and can not list anything she particularly doesn’t like, but I can hear and feel how she misses her friends, boyfriend, everything. She doubts that she can get used to live there so far from all of us… So now I don’t think about my feelings, I just want her to feel better. I’m trying to reassure her that it’s normal, and once her classes start she will be busy and will enjoy the atmosphere, but seems she doesn’t believe me…
Did your kids have the same homesick feelings and for how long?</p>
<p>When I first posted how sick I felt when my son left, I suspected I was not alone - but to find SO MANY of you in the same boat oddly reassures and comforts me. </p>
<p>Today my poor husband will be making the long drive home alone after getting our son moved in to his dorm. I feel such mommy guilt for not making the trip with them (my younger children were starting at their new schools too). It has been two days since he has left and I feel a little better but still not “normal” just kind of “off balance”. From all the posts I have been reading, it seems that the good and bad feelings will come and go in waves. I sure hope that the worst is over, that first day hit like a tsunami.</p>
<p>Hi all…I knew I would find some support on this board…it was such a great help during the application and college search process.</p>
<p>Oldest son went off to college 3 days ago. I describe it like being heartbroken. I’ve been licking my wounds ever since. Not doing much…just lounging, watching old movies, and eating munchies. I know it’ll get better. but as many of you have mentioned, we have been taking care of this child for 18 years, and now our roles have irreversably changed. If you loved your role (I did) it’s not fun to let go. </p>
<p>Thankfully I have 2 younger ones, but I can’t help but realize that in a blink of an eye, they’ll be gone too. I am going to enjoy them to pieces until then!!</p>
<p>^^^ Ah yes, in the blink of an eye!</p>
<p>Last year after we got home from moving freshman s in, and I was trying hard to appear brave for the younger boys but inside I was completely distraught, I listened to my middle schooler go on and on and on about how great college seemed and how he couldn’t wait to get there. I wanted to pinch him to stop him from talking. Finally I said,“Hey, it’s a long ways away, so maybe we don’t have to discuss it so much now.”</p>
<p>He said, “Mom, it’s only five years.” Ouch!!!</p>
<p>My husband travels for work, so when we got home to an empty house my third grader looked around and said, “Well, now it’s just the three of us. Then Henry will leave, and it will be just me and you.” </p>
<p>At least this year we’ll return home to our new dog who will be thrilled to pieces to see us. </p>
<p>Another reason to love dogs; they don’t go to college.</p>
<p>
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<p>CC quote of the day!!! :)</p>
<p>I walked around aware of the hole in my heart for much of the first year.</p>
<p>The second year, I wasn’t aware that there was a hole in my heart until our son came home to visit and the hole was filled.</p>
<p>Third year, I think the hole was filled with pride and appreciation, but I still go to sleep with a feeling that my world is “right” when he is in “his” bed down the hall (happened a total of 10 nights this summer).</p>
<p>His senior year has started. I’ll let you know</p>
<p>Kiddo #4 of 5 is also starting his senior year and left yesterday, had to report early for fall practice for his sport. Every year this same question is asked and every year for 8+ years I have answered with a resounding NO!</p>
<p>It does not get better for me!! It sucks.</p>
<p>I love having my babies home and stuffed inside my little shoe of a house! They all come and go and most are off to graduate school now. Hopefully they will be attending closer by than the 3000+ miles away some of the went to for undergrad. Oldest son gets so little military leave that we also rarely see him, so our time together as a family now is few and far between.</p>
<p>I remember so clearly when they all wore their matching carter’s jamies to bed…</p>
<p>So again, I am just miserable without ALL of them being home. Maybe answers why I am already planning Thanksgiving dinner!</p>
<p>Kat
very much missing my kittens</p>
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</p>
<p>My husband did two tours in Iraq and has done many other tours during his time in the military. </p>
<p>It is possible to feel very grateful for what you have and yet still be deeply saddened by the end of a huge part of ones life.</p>
<p>One suggestion - about 2 weeks after S left for college, I got in touch with some of his friends’ parents, and invited them over for wine & dessert party. I called it a “Semi-Empty Nest Party” since all of us still had another kid left at home. We swapped stories of college drop offs and roommates, and stories about our own days at college, and funny things the boys did in high school, and how weird it was that they were gone. In the end I think we all felt better - at least we didn’t feel so alone! We got together a few more times, including once the following summer when the boys were home and they joined us for a barbeque.</p>
<p>As for the soldier comparison - I did find it helpful to remind myself that although I missed S, I wasn’t worried about his safety on a daily basis. It did make it a little easier to remember that S was safe, and made me more grateful to both the soldiers and their families who are making such huge sacrifices.</p>
<p>^^^^That’s a wonderful idea!</p>
<p>I took my sophomore s back to school today, and I am sorry to say I did not manage to get out of the room without shedding some tears–but I am happy to say that I did not cry all the way home like last year. 
I’m definitely feeling a bit melancholy–but nothing like last year where I was afraid to try and interact with people for fear I’d weep–as I did with the poor man who sells me bread at the Farmer’s Market.</p>
<p>Plus my dog was so happy to see me when I got home! :)</p>