My Statement of Purpose Posted for IR - critique appreciated

Graduate School
1

<p>Hello all - this is a rough draft of what I have come up with so far. I realize that it may need to be more compelling and less a listing of my experiences… I’m looking for direction in how to tweak it. Any and all suggestions appreciated.</p>

<p>Statement of Purpose
MA programs in International Affairs</p>

<p>It could be said that I had an early education in “International Affairs” due to my familial circumstances. My mother was born in the Kurdish city of Dhok in Northern Iraq to my grandparents, who came from a lineage of Kurdish Jews. She lived there until political upheavals in the early fifties, related to the Arab-Israeli conflict, forced her and her family to emigrate to Israel, a country which has been faced with its own share of political, diplomatic, and security upheavals since its establishment. Visiting my grandparents and cousins in Jerusalem every summer with my American father, my Iraqi-Kurdish-Israeli mother and being able to hear a mix of Hebrew, Arabic, and Kurdish gave me a unique perspective on the fluidity of identity.</p>

<pre><code>It was this fascination with my own identity and history that led me to major in Middle Eastern Studies at New York University. Studying the Arabic language was especially eye-opening for me, as it not only gave me a sense of connection to my grandparents, but also opened up the door for me to relate to and understand Muslim Arabs who had unfortunately been cast in the role of “other” to those such as myself who had a strong connection to the State of Israel. While I had participated in a Middle Eastern dialogue group at NYU, I decided that I could not fully appreciate the different perspectives that another culture offers unless I was fully immersed in that culture. For that reason, I participated in an exchange program with Al-Akhawayn University in Morocco. Experiencing the Eid al-Adha and other facets of Moroccan life first hand with my fellow Moroccan students was tremendously enlightening. I was also able to enlighten the Moroccan students as well, presenting a paper in the university journal on the history of the Moroccan-Jewish Maimouna holiday and its implications for the state of Muslim-Jewish relations in Morocco.
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<p>I built on my semester in Morocco by spending the following summer in Israel, serving as a researcher and translator for my colleague who had received funding to research the history of the Kurdish Jewish community. Together, we compiled and translated over 10 hours of oral interviews from first generation Kurdish Jewish immigrants to Israel, obtaining their perspectives on everything from the invasion of Iraq, to how they reconcile their early life in Iraq with their subsequent emigration to a nation that has been formally at war with their country of birth.</p>

<p>In the fall of 2006, I was fortunate enough to be able to work as a research assistant at the Washington Institute for Near East Policy. It was at the Washington Institute, working with diplomats such as Dennis Ross, that I came to understand how diplomatic policy can have a profound impact on the lives of people all over the globe. I used resources like the library of congress, FBIS, and LEXUS-NEXUS to conduct research that was vital to WINEP studies and policy papers dealing with timely issues such as the Israeli-Lebanon war and the history of border demarcations. I also started writing my own foreign policy analysis and essays for a local publication that dealt with Middle East issues, including a synopsis of a trip I took through the West Bank, meeting with Palestinian policy makers.</p>

<pre><code>I view graduate training in International Affairs as a natural progression of my personal, professional, and educational experiences. It is those experiences that have given me a unique perspective on inter-cultural communication and which has led me to become especially interested in conflict resolution and Middle East area studies. I already possess a burning interest and desire to further my education in these areas. Coursework and professional training dealing with conflict resolution and civil society development would then not only give me the necessary tools for careers in professional organizations and NGOs dedicated to diplomacy and conflict resolution such as the UN or the USIP, but to also make a sincere difference in the world.
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2

<p>It should be quite obvious that your mother was born to your grandparents :slight_smile: “My mother was born in the Kurdish city of Dhok in Northern Iraq into a family of Kurdish Jews” or something like that would probably work better.</p>

3

<p>Thanks Kigali - like I said its a first draft, just sat down and started writing to finally have something on paper. Any other input on the substance of the statement??</p>

4

<p>I would ditch the quotes around “international affairs” and explain your exact goals - they sound very broad right now. Be as specific as possible. I think it’s a good draft, but you should elaborate on how you plan to “make a difference” (everybody wants to, not many people can actually say what it is exactly that they plan to do).</p>

5

<p>It looks pretty good to me, although as a general note I think you should tighten it up so that it’s less wordy and more direct.</p>

<p>The last few paragraphs should describe less of what tools and methods you used in previous experiences (this isn’t a cover letter for a job) and more about what specific topics or problems you want to work on, and then link that directly to the school you’re applying for. e.g. “I am interested in diasporas, specifically with regards to x and y within x country.”</p>

<p>Re-read it and see if what you wrote could be something someone else who is applying could say also; your competitive advantage is in saying what specifics you bring to the school and what you will take out of it. All the IR people care about inter-cultural communication and diplomacy…but what will you do about it?</p>

<p>A caveat to that: of course you do not know exactly what you want to do (and you will learn about so many things you never thought you’d want to do, once you start school), but the point is to be specific.</p>

6

<p>I’m not sure if this is appropriate in your field, but consider mentioning some particular professors at the school to which you’re applying and maybe even some of the courses offered there that would benefit you (according to your research interests). Good luck!</p>